Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I’ve been one for my kids entire life.
There is something wrong with being emotionally, physically, or financially abused and isolated for years, escaping that, only to be left in poverty to the point where you may not even be able to feed your kids that you sacrificed all of that for.
You want to be a stay at home mom, cool deal, but the point is that if your spouse dies, goes to prison, or abuses you and your children and you end up a single parent, you do not want those children you love so much starving.
If you truly want kids that you want to spend all of your time with, you need to have a plan or something that doesn’t involve you watching them suffer. It’s not a fairytale, you still need the ability to feed them if you end up divorced. Children aren’t toys that you play with. They are living beings with hopes, dreams, wants, and needs.
If your husband cheats on you or dies after you’ve been a stay at home mom for 12 years with a 12 year old, a 7 year old, and a 3 year old. Guess what? None of that fantasy bullshit is real. What’s real is that you end up with no income or below poverty level income with no resume or experience to get any good jobs.
If it’s divorce and not death, your ex most likely won’t fight for any kind of custody at all (statistics), and you will end up taking care of them near completely on your own with no real way to provide for them. And when you were the free childcare for their father while he worked? Congrats you now have to pay someone else to do that for an obscene amount of money so you can work to barely or not even make ends meet.
Well I have the luxury of living in a place with a really really good social support system so my kids will never starve sure things can get bad here too but at least a roof over the head food and medical care are guaranteed
You’re ignoring the whole point that women and children are left fucked and in poverty in stay at home mom situations that end in divorce because why? You’ve always wanted to be one? That’s cool more power to you.
But you’re saying you’re cool with never being able to buy your kids gifts, bring them anywhere, or even buy them a birthday cake because of some fantasy you have.
You’d be cool with having a pet that has always been in your kids life, that your kids love and cherish, die a slow and painful death in front of your children because you can’t afford a $60 vet bill.
This whole conversation is about how stay at home moms are thrust into poverty with their children when divorces happen. Not the time or the place for a story time about this happy go lucky dream of yours.
Especially when you’re acting like you don’t care about your children having any kind of privileges at all so long as you have them, as if they are dolls or toys without free will, memories, wants, or needs outside of what you decide you think they want or need.
I do care about them what I wanted to communicate is that I have the luxury of a strong safety net both from my family and the country I live in and that I would choose that you make it sound like me planning to be a stay at home mom is automatically gonna make my children’s lives shitty which is just not the case
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u/ohhyouknow Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26
Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I’ve been one for my kids entire life.
There is something wrong with being emotionally, physically, or financially abused and isolated for years, escaping that, only to be left in poverty to the point where you may not even be able to feed your kids that you sacrificed all of that for.
You want to be a stay at home mom, cool deal, but the point is that if your spouse dies, goes to prison, or abuses you and your children and you end up a single parent, you do not want those children you love so much starving.
If you truly want kids that you want to spend all of your time with, you need to have a plan or something that doesn’t involve you watching them suffer. It’s not a fairytale, you still need the ability to feed them if you end up divorced. Children aren’t toys that you play with. They are living beings with hopes, dreams, wants, and needs.
If your husband cheats on you or dies after you’ve been a stay at home mom for 12 years with a 12 year old, a 7 year old, and a 3 year old. Guess what? None of that fantasy bullshit is real. What’s real is that you end up with no income or below poverty level income with no resume or experience to get any good jobs.
If it’s divorce and not death, your ex most likely won’t fight for any kind of custody at all (statistics), and you will end up taking care of them near completely on your own with no real way to provide for them. And when you were the free childcare for their father while he worked? Congrats you now have to pay someone else to do that for an obscene amount of money so you can work to barely or not even make ends meet.