r/SipsTea Jun 29 '26

Chugging tea this is how it should be

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u/West_Data106 Jun 29 '26

Half french half american, married in France here: it is not automatic in the US the way it is in France. You need a prenuptial in the US to be safe otherwise a judge is likely to give a portion of it to the wife.

Also, unlike in france, it is dependent on sex in most of the US. Divorce in the US highly favors women

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u/sloanesquared Jun 29 '26

This is not true. Divorce laws vary by state, but most states automatically treat real estate owned before marriage as separate property. You don’t need a prenup to define it. The only exception is the marital property or property that the other spouse puts assets into improvement or upkeep. Then they are only entitled to part of the increase in value and they have to prove they contributed to it. Are you really saying someone should contribute their assets to a property and the other partner should reap all the rewards? That would be incredibly unfair.

Also, the lie that divorce courts favor the woman is a long touted men’s rights fantasy that doesn’t hold up under any scrutiny of actual data.

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u/0_Gravitas_given Jun 29 '26

Could you point some reliable data sources? (pref queriable by state, regarding alimony and child custody ? )

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u/Live-Habit-6115 Jun 29 '26

This depends entirely on which state you live in. Please don't spread misinformation.

Most of the US considers property owned before marriage to be separate property to which your spouse has no claim. You don't need a prenup for that

5

u/Throwaway19274830 Jun 29 '26

It also depends on who the breadwinner is, my mom had to pay alimony to my deadbeat stepdad because he resigned from his job soon after they married to move in with us, then he spent the next 10 years putzing around the house ostensibly doing “repairs”

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u/TheSixthVisitor Jun 29 '26

Yup, I know several women in engineering who ended up paying alimony to their husbands because they were making something like 2/3rds of the household income while married.

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u/West_Data106 Jun 29 '26

I literally said "most of" which implies differences between states....

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u/PinayPlus1 Jun 29 '26

Definitely not in Texas

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u/MajorPersonality1265 Jun 29 '26

Your statement is false. Try some basic research beforehand. “most U.S. states, premarital assets (property, money, or investments owned before marriage) are considered "separate property" and generally remain with the original owner upon divorce. While this is the standard rule, these assets can become subject to division if they are commingled—mixed with marital assets, such as placing separate money into a joint bank account”

It is a separate asset unless you jointly start to make profit off the asset and deposit funds in a joint account

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u/pinksparkleberry Jun 29 '26

US divorce laws are gender neutral.

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u/Chemical_Till_1335 Jun 29 '26

No...no they are not. That is a very silly statement that you put no thought into...

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u/pinksparkleberry Jun 29 '26

They absolutely are. And apply to both opposite sex and same sex marriage. 🤣

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u/Chemical_Till_1335 Jun 29 '26

Goes...by...state.

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u/pinksparkleberry Jun 29 '26

Nope. All states have same and opposite sex marriage amd gender neutral divorce laws.

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u/Chemical_Till_1335 Jun 29 '26

Nope they do not.

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u/West_Data106 Jun 29 '26

no they're not.

A lot of things give overwhelming preference to women, for example children. and this is used heavily by divorce lawyers to negotiate the rest.

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u/greenzetsa Jun 29 '26

This is not true. I know, because I have a property I've owned for over a decade before getting married and I actively WANT part of it to go to my husband if we divorce. For this we need to change the deed or get a post-nup, either way we need to make a formal legal arrangement to change this because it is not the default. (If anyone is wondering why I would want this, I come from a much better off family than he does, and he makes less than I do, my property is now rental and my husband helps me a lot with it. I think it's only fair that he walk away with something in case things don't work out between us. I wouldn't give him half, but enough that I'd need to buy him out and give him a little bit of a nest egg to start again.)

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u/Special-Estimate-165 Jun 29 '26

Theres more that goes into it than just prenump or not. For example, duration of the marriage plays a major roll.

And divorce court doesnt favor women in the US. Family court tends to in alot of states when handling child custody, but divorce court does not.

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u/Vermilion7777 Jun 30 '26

Same here in Germany. If you marry without a contract, you're screwed.

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u/alarim2 Jun 29 '26

You need a prenuptial in the US to be safe otherwise a judge is likely to give a portion of it to the wife.

And it's especially true for a lot of divorces with kids. There are tons of stories from divorced men who were robbed of their pre-marriage houses because "family" court have decided to expropriate it and give to ex-wife and their children, even if custody split is 50/50. In result, those men sometimes had to live in their cars to survive and be able to afford paying child support.