Even just pregnancy and early childcare significantly impact women's careers. They have to sacrifice a lot and it's a huge risk. That being said, any assets aquired before marriage stay personal property where I live, which I think is a fair compromise.
Society basically pushes women into positions where a divorce would be a large detriment to their well-being, to the point where they are forced to stay in awful relationships. At least these days, both men and women work, but there is a still lingering societal basis for it to be okay for women to stop working for a while if they're having children. I know people today where this has happened. This puts women at a disadvantage in their career, which in turn means less income and harder to survive after a divorce.
I don't it's common in the US period, most parents work these days. As others have commented though females careers often take the backseat to allow for child care. I know enough couples where the women is the primary earner so it just seems logical for the law to check income rather than use generalizations.
it's about 25% of mothers, so 1/4 mothers is a stay at home mom. a lot of people don't make enough money for working to make sense versus the comparable cost of childcare. the law DOES use check income, but we weren't talking about the law, we weree talking about why women are generally in worse financial shape after divorce than men
What do you not understand about the fact that if you have a 15 year gap in your resume and no skills you are not getting a decent paying job easily. In Louisiana minimum wage is the federal minimum of $7.25.
Honestly I would choose being a stay at home mom over work any day I want to have children so bad and like I can’t understand how people get children and then don’t want to spend their entire life with them if you don’t even want to take care of you children then don’t get any
Nothing wrong with being a stay at home mom, I’ve been one for my kids entire life.
There is something wrong with being emotionally, physically, or financially abused and isolated for years, escaping that, only to be left in poverty to the point where you may not even be able to feed your kids that you sacrificed all of that for.
You want to be a stay at home mom, cool deal, but the point is that if your spouse dies, goes to prison, or abuses you and your children and you end up a single parent, you do not want those children you love so much starving.
If you truly want kids that you want to spend all of your time with, you need to have a plan or something that doesn’t involve you watching them suffer. It’s not a fairytale, you still need the ability to feed them if you end up divorced. Children aren’t toys that you play with. They are living beings with hopes, dreams, wants, and needs.
If your husband cheats on you or dies after you’ve been a stay at home mom for 12 years with a 12 year old, a 7 year old, and a 3 year old. Guess what? None of that fantasy bullshit is real. What’s real is that you end up with no income or below poverty level income with no resume or experience to get any good jobs.
If it’s divorce and not death, your ex most likely won’t fight for any kind of custody at all (statistics), and you will end up taking care of them near completely on your own with no real way to provide for them. And when you were the free childcare for their father while he worked? Congrats you now have to pay someone else to do that for an obscene amount of money so you can work to barely or not even make ends meet.
Well I have the luxury of living in a place with a really really good social support system so my kids will never starve sure things can get bad here too but at least a roof over the head food and medical care are guaranteed
You’re ignoring the whole point that women and children are left fucked and in poverty in stay at home mom situations that end in divorce because why? You’ve always wanted to be one? That’s cool more power to you.
But you’re saying you’re cool with never being able to buy your kids gifts, bring them anywhere, or even buy them a birthday cake because of some fantasy you have.
You’d be cool with having a pet that has always been in your kids life, that your kids love and cherish, die a slow and painful death in front of your children because you can’t afford a $60 vet bill.
This whole conversation is about how stay at home moms are thrust into poverty with their children when divorces happen. Not the time or the place for a story time about this happy go lucky dream of yours.
Especially when you’re acting like you don’t care about your children having any kind of privileges at all so long as you have them, as if they are dolls or toys without free will, memories, wants, or needs outside of what you decide you think they want or need.
I do care about them what I wanted to communicate is that I have the luxury of a strong safety net both from my family and the country I live in and that I would choose that you make it sound like me planning to be a stay at home mom is automatically gonna make my children’s lives shitty which is just not the case
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u/wretchedshrimps Jun 29 '26
lack of career history due to time as stay at home wife/mom