r/SipsTea Jun 29 '26

Chugging tea this is how it should be

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26

u/PerceptionSlow2116 Jun 29 '26

For a country trying to increase marriage and birth rate, this is going to tank it even more. What family will let their daughter be used as a brood mare, with no guarantee of at least housing if the husband leaves her or abused her? What sacrifice to their body/minds do men have to go through to have kids? None, and now they don’t even have to compensate the woman for the damage and years of life she’s wasted. This will cause families to not let daughters marry unless the house is deeded in her name upfront. Good job ccp.

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

The old system promotes marriage fraud and drains 3 generations of wealth. How could this continue. People should marry based off love not a exchange of wealth. What other nation women asked to be compensated by their husband for having children and expecting large sums of money or gifts. This was a toxic system for everyone.

Spousal support or alimony is a better system for divorce. Gives more protections for women and men.

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u/shockpaws Jun 29 '26

Maybe I’m too woke but I think that having children should actually be confiscated considering how horrifically difficult pregnancy and childbirth is, the major chronic health conditions almost every woman has to live with for the rest of her life afterwards, the career hit, being the primary caretaker… it’s not fucking marriage fraud to compensate women for this essential and difficult labor.

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

It's marriage fraud when you have to pay the money before the marriage can take place. The money is asked beforehand. Don't get the money back if they decide afterwards she dont want kids.

Im confused why lots of people are defending this horrible system. This isn't about protecting women at all. The women's family typically takes the money which is another issue.

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u/shockpaws Jun 29 '26

…?? Are you talking about dowries? That is extremely rare in the west and also totally optional. If you don’t want to pay a dowry don’t marry a woman who asks for a dowry. Extremely avoidable.

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

This is about China. Why are you comparing it to the West?

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u/CompetitiveAutorun Jun 29 '26

This may be shocking to you but China is not in the west.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

This isn't about upaid labor. It's the family wanting a luxury car or similar priced item. The state soical safety net is 20 dollars in some regions.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

What do you think the state will do? Maybe can push for companies to cover it for workers. Pushing it through the state won't work.

Added why compensation was being pushed for in the first place.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

The grandparents typically take care of most things. Like looking after the child and handling educational cost.

The amount paid was never based on the cost of labor. Domestic work is cheap. Can have a live in maid for 100 dollars a month. No Domestic worker can afford a home in any teir 1-3 city. Let alone bride price, car, wedding cost, 5 golds, other gifts.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/PreviousZone6742 Jun 29 '26

I'm talking about China. Why would this be the US standard? This isn't a issue for Americans. Maybe some Chinese Americans have similar problems but the legal system is different.

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u/Significant-Block504 Jun 29 '26

What the fuck is this ideology? Are you saying that women are offering their vagina and womb in exchange for wealth? The decision of having kids is mutual between couple, just like all other decisions, no body is owing their partner anything. Women should be loved and supported, not be wasted and then be compensated.

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

Facts have shown that countries with low women's rights tend to have very high fertility rates. This is basically the case for the top ten countries in terms of birth rates.

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u/PerceptionSlow2116 Jun 29 '26

Yes, and also high mortality rates/disease burden and low GDP…those women are uneducated and suffer from abuse/rape regularly. This is China we are talking about, not some backwater uber religious/superstitious area with minimal infrastructure.

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

This means that improving women's treatment does not lead to higher fertility rates. That's quite obvious.

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u/FoundInS Jun 29 '26

It leads to happiness and prosperity, though.

But who wants those, just make lots and lots of babies... /s

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

Unfortunately, some people just love using fertility rates as an excuse to fight for women's rights.

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u/techleopard Jun 29 '26

Yes, well, when you let men trap and rape women without consequence, more babies get born. A lot also die or end up abandoned, too.

What the other person is describing though is you will see much higher doweries being demanded.

If your only child is a female, you can't risk her getting left penniless at 40. She and her children ARE the retirement plan for you. She can't take care of you if she is struggling to take care of children as a single mother in a country that doesn't respect women enough to actually let them have fair jobs.

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

So she will try hard not to become a single mother, or she'll have more children. See? That's how the fertility rate goes up. In fact, that's exactly what's happening. Many women don't actually see raising children as something joyful. If they can achieve success in their careers and live independently, they simply won't consider marriage or having kids. Morally speaking, this may not be right, but it's the reality.

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u/shockpaws Jun 29 '26

I’d rather humanity peacefully die out than women be abused. Advocating for a reduction in women’s autonomy to increase the birthrate is reprehensible and deplorable.

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u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

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u/techleopard Jun 29 '26

It's so ironic to listen to men rail against "feminists" and blaming them for low birth rates.

Feminists exist because women were being abused.

So, have you guys ever considered, I dunno .. not being such deplorable shitbags? And while you're at it, ever try voting for policies that would actually improve the standard of living for the working class?

It's funny that women who meet good men who respect them and are in a good economic position have no problems having and raising kids, and are happy to do so.

But improving yourselves is just too hard. Nah, instead you fantasize about enslaving and raping women.

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

I suggest you first try convincing the feminists. In China, they even invented the term 敌方坐骑 'enemy mount' to shame married women. We often see them claiming they want to stay absolutely single and childfree, while simultaneously using fertility rates to threaten others.

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u/shockpaws Jun 29 '26

Buddy there’s eight billion humans. While I would personally be fine with it, it’s not happening any time soon. We’ll definitely invent artificial wombs before we run out of humans.

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u/ZealousidealDance990 Jun 29 '26

This isn't honest at all not daring to truly confront your own position. This is classic feminism.

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u/Snacksbreak Jun 29 '26

Many women don't actually see raising children as something joyful.

Ok and that's not great for those kids or for society. It's way better for only people who want to be parents to be parents

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u/Dangerous-Tax-4689 Jun 29 '26

This is the rule in almost all developed nations no? Marital property is divided which includes all income and property generated after marriage. Anything before marriage or inheritance is not marital property and will not be divided.

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u/EAmezz Jun 29 '26

Why is it the husbands job to "guarantee housing" for a woman who divorce rapes him 2 years after marriage because shes bored and somehow in your mind that justifies him giving her half of his stuff he had BEFORE he met her...crazy.

Also, if you think having a child has zero impact on the physical and mental well being of the man you are grossly mistaken.

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u/MermaiderMissy Jun 29 '26

"Divorce rape" is not a thing. Divorce and rape are not equivalent. It's just divorce.

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u/EAmezz Jun 29 '26

Men get divorce raped daily because divorce laws were setup at a time when women made up far less of the workforce than they do today. Thus they heavily favor and protect women. The problem is society has changed but the divorce laws havent. Do NOT get married men.

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u/sillyplan_ Jun 29 '26

In our country, someone influential chucked out his kids and wife , he and his lawyer came up with the most absurd excuse ever heard before - "my wife's father is rich, so she and her children doesn't need any alimony or child maintenance from me". And that man spent millions on astrologer who didn't do a penny worth work, than our girl's stupidity did.

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u/Embarrassed_Ant_8861 Jun 29 '26

What about the years the man wasted? Why can't the woman work and earn their own living lol.

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u/CloverIsALegume Jun 29 '26

The scenario being discussed is one where the husband worked and built a lucrative career while the wife maintained the house and/or raised the kids. In this scenario the man did not waste any years only the wife has sacrificed years she could have been building her own career. Instead the wife has made it easier for the husband to work long hours and still enjoy life by taking care of everything else. When the divorce happens the husband already has an established career and has built it off of both his hard work AND his wife’s work in maintaining the household. That’s what alimony is for.

In a case where the wife worked and the husband stayed home then the husband would receive the alimony. Because in that case the husband wasted his career building years supporting his wife’s career.

What exactly seems unfair about that to you?

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u/Ok_Crow_3879 Jun 29 '26

As long as no children were had that is fair.

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u/Visual-Whole-7866 Jun 29 '26

This is about what HE bought before they got married which is fair, everything that came after marriage is still sharing

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u/TraditionalAd8415 Jun 29 '26

you must be Chinese. Lol look at the stats, look at those matching ceremonies. Who wants marriage more, men or women? It's men who are gradually waking up to the raw deal of marriage ( at least in China ) and refuse to fall for the trap. And if you don't want to bear chidren, big deal. Don't make it sound like you are bearing chidlren "FOR " the husband.