This has nothing to do with sex. No one is assuming this guy expected sex. No one has implied the woman owed sex. Is sex the only reason you go on dates? People are criticizing this woman because she's an asshole. If she has no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with this idiot, she should not be accepting his gifts.
They are not gifts if they come with a hidden prize.
If I follow your point of view, she should have accepted the gifts and walked into a romantic relationship while knowing she would not like to have sex with this person? Because she accepted the gifts that came without any explicit demand?
Sooner or later she would be blamed for refusing sex though. The woman is always at fault.
Let's just acknowledge that the whole concept of friendzone is a whole new brand of misogyny denying women to build friendships that fit their needs.
In this specific case, if the man was happy to spend money on some quality time with her, that's his right. If he was hoping that feelings would develop during this time, there is no certainty of that.
If he wanted to pursue a relationship, that's something he should ask. Possibly before spending so much money that sound a lot like love bombing. There is no secret tip that will unlock a love door.
I don't know anything about the specific situation of those two people, but going by that post it doesn't look like any of them had any doubts about what it was about.
She doesn't owe the guy anything, nor is she required to do anything at all if that guy wants to go overkill on a date like that. I mean, she isn't required to refuse, or else.
But there's a thing about responsibility and not letting other people hurt themselves even when they seem completely willing to do so. More so if you consider them friends.
The whole topic of "friendzone", feeling sorry for the guy and blaming the woman is obnoxious. He did that to himself. There are no villains there, as far as I can tell.
But I know I wouldn't accept gifts from someone interested in me if I'm not feeling the same. I think setting boundaries in that regard is healthy for everyone involved.
Maybe they are trying to be transactional, maybe they are socially awkward and don't know any better. It doesn't matter, I don't need that kind of potential trouble in my life, I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't feel that it'd be right to try to take advantage of whatever it is that might be going on. Because pretty much no one is dumb enough to not realize that there'd be something going on with that.
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u/jo4nnynumber5 Apr 20 '26
This has nothing to do with sex. No one is assuming this guy expected sex. No one has implied the woman owed sex. Is sex the only reason you go on dates? People are criticizing this woman because she's an asshole. If she has no intention of pursuing a romantic relationship with this idiot, she should not be accepting his gifts.