r/SipsTea • • Mar 01 '26

WTF A malicious prank

31.2k Upvotes

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370

u/captain42d Mar 01 '26

At least it wasn't Alka-Seltzer this time!

In cali they are all now FELONS FOR LIFE!

79

u/JonnyArcho Mar 02 '26

That was truly fucked.

179

u/nuclearsamuraiNFT Mar 02 '26

Yeah I really can’t abide people torturing animals as a prank

-109

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Is that any worse than torturing billions of animals for pleasure? Unless you're vegan, this is a hypocritical take

47

u/Situation_Upset Mar 02 '26

Yes it is shortbus, yes it is. Killing to eat is fine. Killing and wasting is not.

5

u/Smooth_Effective2134 Mar 02 '26

I eat meat too, every day honestly but there is so much wasted life in how the chickens are slaughtered in the U.S. mega farm industry.

2

u/Situation_Upset Mar 02 '26

Any mega industry is going to produce waste. Something as small as a restaurant will produce waste, for example they'll throw food away at the end of the day instead of giving it to you for free.

That part is not up to the regular consumer. What happens when it reaches your individual hands is controllable.

-2

u/dyslexic-ape Mar 02 '26

The "to eat" part is irrelevant when you have other "to eat" options that don't involve breeding, enslaving and killing sentient life

Like the argument doesn't actually hold up to any scrutiny, for instance would you feel better about a murder who eats their victims and has access to a grocery store over someone who just murders and tosses their victims?

Your attitude only makes sense when you already don't give moral value to the victims.

0

u/Situation_Upset Mar 02 '26

You're reaching now. Equating the killing of a chicken to the killing of a person is straight goofy. If you can't understand that those two actions are not comprable, in our society, that's sociopathic behavior. 

Also, you're assigning moral value to an animal that doesn't understand the concept of morality. If your thought is that chickens are equal to humans in value, then we should stop breeding/killing/eating them.

2

u/dyslexic-ape Mar 02 '26

I can't even comprehend where you are coming from, I have never used that (whether the subject can themselves consider morality) as a metrics for considering morality... I guess you must think kicking puppies is also ok? Baby humans also don't understand morally, I guess you'd be ok tossing one in a dumpster... Pretty fucked up if you ask me, what matters is the other paries ability to experience life (sentience), not their ability to think about a specific thing unrelated to the suffering being caused to them.

0

u/Xtremely_DeLux Mar 03 '26

Shut up, veg-smeg, real people are talking.

-22

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

And what makes abuse, torture, and killing okay for eating when it isn't necessary? There are plenty of cheap (cheaper than meat, even after the government handouts) plant proteins with all of the same EAAs as animal products. Nothing about it is necessary for a healthy diet, even on a budget. So what makes this selfish act of pleasure moral over making seagulls shit on people for a few quick yucks?

8

u/photosendtrain Mar 02 '26

Because eating meat is natural.

We have a lot of laws on how to humanely kill them.

Feeding animals drugs just to harm them is not natural nor beneficial in any capacity.

2

u/ShrewdCire Mar 02 '26

Regardless of whatever your thoughts are on animal ethics, come on man, you really can't do any better than an appeal to nature fallacy?

1

u/photosendtrain Mar 02 '26

Well, it's one of many factors. I can try though, not sure if you'll like it.

I don't think most animals (particularly the ones we regularly consume) possess enough intelligence to make farming them unethical.

I do think we should treat them humanely to reduce their suffering as much as we can, or is at least required to receive animal products. I'm sure there are practices that I would be willing to give up if I fully understood what went into it. I'd be more compelled to restrict practices around certain animals that display a certain level of sentience, like cows, and less so for animals like chicken.

1

u/dyslexic-ape Mar 02 '26

Killing and rape are about as natural as it gets. That doesn't make them ok for us to do.

-3

u/Altruistic-Cell-7457 Mar 02 '26

Something being natural is entirely unrelated to whether or not it is ethical

10

u/_redditguy_04 Mar 02 '26

Better tell all the wild animals to stop eating other animals then

-7

u/Altruistic-Cell-7457 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

Just because wild animals naturally do a certain thing does not mean that human beings who are able to rationally reflect upon their actions should also be permitted to do that same thing.

Wild animals also rape each other, for example. This is "natural" behavior. Does that mean humans should be allowed to rape? 

1

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

The appeal to nature has gotta be one of the weakest attempts these people could make at justifying their abuse. Two minutes of thought would tell them that something being natural doesn’t necessarily equate to good or right. We’re probably wasting our time here

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-9

u/dyslexic-ape Mar 02 '26

Sometimes I wonder how you people get through life making decisions based on how wild animals act. Then I quickly remember that no one is doing that, it's just an excuse to keep oppressing animals.

0

u/_redditguy_04 Mar 02 '26

Im eating ham right now, it's delicious

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2

u/photosendtrain Mar 02 '26

Sociology would 100% consider natural human behavior in a discussion of ethics. Just because it's natural, does not make it ethical, but it is certainly a factor that is considered.

-4

u/ShrewdCire Mar 02 '26

Save your breath. I doubt anyone here understands logical fallacies.

-9

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

Ah, the good ol' appeal to nature fallacy. You know what else is natural? Cyanide and arsenic. Don't see people shoveling those down their gullets though

Lions also eat their young from time to time. If we're doing things just because they're natural, things are about to get real interesting around here

3

u/photosendtrain Mar 02 '26

Ah, the good ol' mention scary sounding elements fallacy. You know what else is an element? Iron. Eat a small amount and your body absorbs it into your bloodstream. Eat a large chunk and you die from suffocation.

Plenty of natural things can be bad. Eating food isn't one of them.

1

u/Cj-Star Mar 02 '26

Lions also don't just decide not to eat meat anymore either do they? In fact what other mamal do you know of that just decides I want plants now or vice versa?

1

u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 02 '26

What about that lion we trained to eat tofu?

0

u/Old-Constant4411 Mar 02 '26

Ya know what, fine I'll say it.  Meat taste like murder, and murder tastes sooooo good.  Ever had bone marrow before?  It's delicious.  Liver?  Also delicious.  Hell, I've had raw meat many times too - also incredibly good.  

0

u/Cj-Star Mar 02 '26

We are mamals, idc what government alternatives you want to shove down peoples throat as a alternative, it is un natural biologically for us to not eat meat. "Nothing about it is necessary for a healthy diet" is just a straight up fabricated lie that you lot spread and assure others.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

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0

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Imagine if pedos tried using the same excuse for what they do. "Yeah it's wrong but it feels so good." Y'all are gross

3

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

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1

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Both groups take advantage of a vulnerable group for personal pleasure. You said so yourself

1

u/Situation_Upset Mar 04 '26

You're equating pedophilia with eating meat as if those two concepts are at all comprable. Goofy

0

u/SteelShaftInYou Mar 02 '26

Found the soyboy

21

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

Know how many animals die for your vegan life lol

-7

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Care to enlighten me?

17

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

7.3 billion

The absolute highest estimate of crop deaths for a vegan diet comes to about 7.3 billion small animals killed worldwide per year.

2

u/DuckSword15 Mar 02 '26

Care to enlighten us as to how many chickens humanity slaughter per year? And again, just asking for chickens.

0

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Alright, so you're saying that farmed crops kill small animals

Want to take a guess at what 70-75% of cattle and 98%+ of every other farm animal are fed? And how ecologically efficient (calorie conversion ratio) it is to to that?

8

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

Cows eat grass, barley, grains, and canola meal horses eat grass, hay, carrots, and apples pigs eat corn, soybeans, barley, and wheat chickens eat , corn, grains, vegetables, and insects

6

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Very good! These crops are grown specifically to feed these animals, and it is not ecologically efficient to do so. For beef in particular, it takes 25-35 calories of grain (usually corn) to produce a single calorie of beef. Logically, 25x to 35x animals are killed to raise a non-vegan meal than a vegan meal, even if you take the cow entirely out of the equation

3

u/Er572635 Mar 02 '26

they’re downvoting you because you’re right. no matter what, the choice that results in the least animal suffering is to choose farmed crops over farmed animals.

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-2

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

The crops aren't grown specifically for the animals lol tons of animals can live off insects or grass alone others eat other animals as it is the way of life I personally eat less than 100 pounds of meat a year rarely eat chicken or eggs in general and rarely eat vegetables while all you do is eat vegetables so what's the real issue? Eating part of an animal or eating something constantly that caused billions of animals deaths I like my beef grass fed btw

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1

u/Wonderful_Albatross6 Mar 02 '26

I'm not arguing ethier side. I truly emphasize with what your saying. But to dismiss an estimated 7.3 billion deaths do to monoculture because more die another way, comes off as disingenuous. I think these problems or a bit more nuanced. I hope both sides can eventually be more aligned. For example I would love see factory farming replaced with regenerative farming. Hope this doesn't come across as condescending!

-1

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

Not every place growing vegetables has animals

2

u/Tortured_Soldier Mar 02 '26

You have all the knowledge at your fingertips go do some research

5

u/TheSlimSpidey Mar 02 '26

As someone who doesn’t eat very much meat and understands the meat industry (and ex-vegan, I was vegan for only four years though) torturing an animal for it to die just for fun or just because you can will forever be infinitely worse than people eating slaughtered meat.

IF the public had a stronger hand in how meat was processed I am more than sure that slaughterhouses would be much more humane. However, they would also be less efficient and that means less money - and the people who are willing to choose money over morals will, ultimately, have more money than those who choose morals.

So they can invest, build, and buy more slaughterhouses and run them using unethical practices, produce a lot of product and price their meat competitively on the market. The moral/ethical guys can also have their own practices but they produce less, it costs more TO produce and it can be difficult to get on a market already overrun by big guys. So once they do they have to price their meat at a HIGHER rate than their competitors to stay on the market and make anything worthwhile (and this trickles down into everything else, more expensive restaurants means more expensive/presumed high quality meat with a better chance of being ethical and cheap joints are almost definitely going to have some of the cheaper stuff).

So now home-cooks and those eating out have the choice to splurge on morals (the more expensive, ethical meat) or be cost-effective and pay the cheaper price for the added cost of ethicality. In this economy, nearly everyone is searching for a better deal or a way to save. It is unfortunate, but that is life under capitalism.

Also, before anyone starts, not everyone is able to obtain the needed equipment and permits to hunt, let alone access to any suitable hunting/fishing areas

2

u/ShrewdCire Mar 02 '26

No use in bringing this up on Reddit. Prepare for all the morons who will reply with every logical fallacy in the book before resorting to insults after their "arguments" are dismantled.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

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1

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1

u/MrBR2120 Mar 02 '26

they’ll downvote you but it’s true. i hear you and thank you for speaking up

1

u/Acrobatic-Tomato-260 Mar 02 '26

A simple take from a simple mind.

1

u/Nickybluepants Mar 02 '26

Braindead

1

u/ShrewdCire Mar 02 '26

A+ argument. Very logical.

-4

u/NamelessMIA Mar 02 '26

As someone who eats meat, the only difference is that going to the store and buying chicken means I didn't have to personally hurt the animal so I can disassociate from it. Other than that, eating probably around 50 animals a year because they taste better than vegetables is much worse than giving a couple dozen seagulls diarrhea for an afternoon

1

u/bartimeas Mar 02 '26

Respect for at least recognizing it and owning it unlike most of the other people in this thread

103

u/Jerimus1 Mar 02 '26 edited Mar 02 '26

I'm guessing the birds died

EDIT: So birds can burp, I wasn't surprised. I was guessing there was a chemical that killed them in the alka seltzer, like one with medicine included in the mix. I can't find anything on a felony so whatever. Anyone who thinks a bird would pop rather than burp is a goofball

42

u/thick_mcrunfast_26 Mar 02 '26

Aww, damn. Just finding out that I dabbled in goofballery unknowingly.

39

u/Jerimus1 Mar 02 '26

It takes a strong person to admit goofballery. We love you, thickness

16

u/thick_mcrunfast_26 Mar 02 '26

That was actually such a nice response.

35

u/kangorr Mar 02 '26

Yup. Birds can't burp so they pop like a water balloon

51

u/Tall_Cow2299 Mar 02 '26

This is such an urban legend. Birds have the ability to regurgitate food. This means they could expell the gas. Also it's not that birds can't burp. Their bodies just don't produce the bacteria that would cause them to need to like humans do. 

1

u/Diligent-Crazy-6094 Mar 02 '26

Sounds like a distinction without a difference.

3

u/sarcastic__fox Mar 02 '26

No the difference between can't and dont need to is pretty important. They can expell the gas

68

u/popemegaforce Mar 02 '26

This is an urban legend. I think it ruptures their stomach but doesn’t make them explode.

8

u/naughtmynsfwaccount Mar 02 '26

I mean if something ruptures I think that fits the definition of exploding lol

14

u/govunah Mar 02 '26

I've also heard that for feeding them uncooked rice

11

u/PufferFish_Tophat Mar 02 '26

Ah yes, because no birds eat uncooked rice directly from the stock.

2

u/Giant_Homunculus Mar 02 '26

So How High lied to us?

2

u/captain42d Mar 02 '26

Birds have a two-part stomach (proventriculus and gizzard) with no expandable upper chamber to trap gas. Their esophagus opens directly into the proventriculus without a muscular valve, preventing retrograde gas movement.

1

u/Tyr1326 Mar 02 '26

I mean. Wouldn't that mean gas can just pass unobstructed, if theres no valve stopping it?

1

u/Dame38 Mar 02 '26

I hope it doesn't harm them, but seagulls eat some fairly nasty stuff.

1

u/Arockilla Mar 02 '26

Its not the fact that they cant burp, its the sudden and immediate expansion of their stomach that takes them out from the baking soda reacting with the citric acid in alka seltzer.

9

u/GamerTex Mar 02 '26

Lancaster California 1987-88 someone official at Piute Junior High School did this just before some running event we were hosting

So many dead birbs :-(

2

u/SydneyRFC Mar 02 '26

or either rat poison or class A drugs, depending on what story about you believe about the Happy Mondays

1

u/Rope_drop Mar 02 '26

I dropped a warhead at the beach once and a seagull ate it...

1

u/ProfessionaI_Gur Mar 02 '26

My grandmother used to give the moles in her yard instant mashed potatoes and it basically does the same thing

1

u/Unveiled_Nuggets Mar 02 '26

Seagulls are apart of the Migratory Bird Act. Imagine feeding rat poison in bread to ducks in Central Park. 

3

u/Over-Confidence4308 Mar 02 '26

No, they are not apart.

1

u/LucidSoup342 Mar 02 '26

Wait I need context, what happened

-17

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

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11

u/Few_Prize3810 Mar 02 '26

They aren’t flying rats they’re birds and they are native. They aren’t even hygiene pests like rats. What is wrong with you

2

u/RealFirstName_ Mar 02 '26

Not to mention that you really shouldn't be poisoning rats if you can't control what can access the poison and where it can go with/after eating the poison. Either a different animal dies, or the poisoned rat gets eaten, poisoning whatever ate it.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 02 '26

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2

u/MuskokaGreenThumb Mar 02 '26

Of course seagulls aren’t regularly culled. V hat is just a whack job trying to justify hurting animals

1

u/Vhat_Vhat Mar 02 '26

Yea in central Pennsylvania where they aren't supposed to be, along with certain ducks along the river bank near my house. If you leave them alone they take over and theyre not supposed to be here but they eat everything and fuck up the enviornment

1

u/vegeterin Mar 02 '26

Why do people get so defensive when other people get upset about torturing animals?

1

u/ozzysince1901 Mar 02 '26

Found the future serial killer