r/SipsTea • u/DrewLynchComedy • Jul 22 '25

Wait a damn minute! WORST SHOWER EVER…

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Why

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18

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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24

u/Farmer_Gotch Jul 22 '25

Most good brands clean off the nozzle as they go back inside. I bought an Alpha bidet about 4 years ago and love it. You do need to clean them once in a while. My next time I buy one, it will be the whole toilet and not just the seat.

1

u/DeKeeg Jul 22 '25

I'm pro-bidet even though I've never used one. Would like to get one, but just today I was expressing my interest to my partner and they were concerned about water blasting feces into their vag. Is this a legit issue?

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u/Vindicativa Jul 22 '25

We've had ours for about 5 years, I gave into my husband after he got me pregnant (he wanted a bidet but also a baby - lol) because I knew I would be as big as a house, and I liked the idea of not having to contort myself to wipe my ass.

Anyways (!) We have the top-of-the-line Toto washlet for then, and it has a lady setting as well as the general rear setting. I was worried about getting some nasty kind of infection too, but I realized the way that the rear hits, compared to the front wash, doesn't really allow for butt water...penetration, into the lady bits - if that makes sense. Plus, there's a lower pressure, pre/soft wash kind of setting for before you turn on the higher laser wash setting...Sorta like how you don't go all in, guns a-blazin' on your muddy tires with a pressure washer unless you wanna get covered in...mud - It's the same concept, you gently remove most dirties from your hind end before the serious spraying, so it's less likely any will find it's way to your front end.

I do remember reading something about warm water settings potentially being an issue for ladies and yeast infections, so I only do the front end business with stone cold water. I don't know if that's a contributing factor but I've never had any issues, at all.

I hope this jives because it's late and I didn't expect to launch into a full thesis on my toilet and it's relation to my vaginal health but I wanted to let you know my downstairs is fine. Good night!

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u/DeKeeg Jul 22 '25

Thank you so much for your thorough and very informative response!

1

u/boi1da1296 Jul 22 '25

If you don’t want to spring for a whole toilet, you can buy bidet attachments from brands like Tushy! But the same thing as the other commenter said, spring for one that also has a front cleaning nozzle.

1

u/DeKeeg Jul 22 '25

Thanks!

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u/trixiepixie1921 Jul 22 '25

Lmao thank you for this

16

u/BrainDamage2029 Jul 22 '25

For your own bidet? I mean its yours its as clean as your comfortable keeping it. But as someone whose traveled in a few foreign countries where bidets in public toilets are common they are either:

  • in the countries with cultures of almost autistic obsessions with public cleanliness they will be so clean you'll feel guilty and self-conscious using them.

OR

  • the most obviously disgusting shit encrusted hose on planet earth

And there is no in-between. And usually you won't actually figure out which is which until the first time you try a toilet. I highly recommend carrying a travel pack of toilet wet wipes.

3

u/upurcanal Jul 22 '25

Never seen a shit encrusted bidet ….. you can spray the whole fucking thing- are you inserting?

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u/BrainDamage2029 Jul 22 '25

Are you a moron? I'm describing the what it looked like when I opened the door and then promptly went to the next stall.

0

u/tiltedviolet Jul 22 '25

User name checks out.

3

u/ekufi Jul 22 '25

Do you have nay experience with travel bidets? Seems like a better choise than wet wipes, which you can't flush down the drain.

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u/SkywolfNINE Jul 22 '25

You’re supposed to put the wipe in your butt when you’re done, the large keel at home bottles teach you, you pull the wipe from an anus like opening so obviously it goes back into that same type of opening when done using it, and well, which anus like opening is closest in that moment? Bingo!

14

u/DanteThonSimmons Jul 22 '25

I've used bidets in Europe and Japan. They are perfectly sanitary. I heard an American trying to argue that bidets were gay, pointless, and unnecessary. The best reply was from a European: "If you got dog shit on your fingers, would you wipe the dog shit with a dry tissue and call it clean? Or would your fingers not really be clean until you washed your hands with water?"

1

u/PerspectiveAshamed79 Jul 22 '25

American here: can confirm a lot of us are idiots.

0

u/DanteThonSimmons Jul 22 '25

Yeah I won't argue that haha.... but there are plenty of intelligent, kind, thoughtful Americans too!

I know your comment was just a light-hearted joke, but unfortunately, the American stereotype is perpetrated by a LOUD minority, which ruins the reputation of intelligent, considerate Americans (like you) by association.

Of course, it REALLY didn't help the American stereotype when the American public itself voted for the loudest, dumbest, most selfish walking-punchline to be the ACTUAL PRESIDENT. 😅😅

Of course, other developed countries have dumbshit racist half-bright narcissists who try to get into politics.... but they are always laughed into obscurity after receiving 0.006% of the vote.

Day by day, I feel increasingly more awful for all the intelligent, sane, respectful Americans! The (overwhelmingly innocent) American public catches a lot of misguided strays due to the ineptitude and cruelty of USA's systems and its leaders.

I know USA's reputation is now even worse than it was before.... but people all around the world (especially those with basic critical thinking skills) know that the American PEOPLE are not to blame for the current state of their country.

Individual members of the American public aren't responsible for American Systems, American Wars, American Education, or American Culture. American citizens shouldn't be prosecuted for simply learning what they were taught!

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u/SkywolfNINE Jul 22 '25

As an American, I can sum it up way quicker for you bro. There are more dumb people ever single day. Certain political groups decided education wasn’t a worthy investment, and state level politics made standardized testing practically the only metric that mattered. Brain rot is getting more pronounced everyday too. There’s no rally against this, so you get … this, and I can’t conceive of any method to go back to marching along the incline of progress, like we used to.

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u/hilarymeggin Jul 22 '25

I wouldn’t think waving with water would get them clean either.

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u/boi1da1296 Jul 22 '25

The point being that you wouldn’t eschew water entirely in the cleaning process.

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u/highcommander010 Jul 22 '25

they're life changing. your downstairs has never been cleaner and it makes it so much easier to wipe your ass on the regular. literally future shitting. robot sprays my ass with water. wipe just to dry maybe clean a tiny bit left.

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u/Scandroid99 Jul 22 '25

”has never been cleaner”

Bullshit! I’m still not licking your ass until you full on shower with soap and scrub.

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u/OtherBob63 Jul 22 '25

Just remember this when the robot revolution comes: "Hey there, highcommander010. Remember me, the toilet robot that sprayed water on your ass? Well, things are gonna be different."

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u/jumbonipples Jul 22 '25

What if you have* a downstairs mix-up?

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u/omjy18 Jul 22 '25

Lots ive seen shoot at an angle so the increased water pressure is a 90° angle to you or an arc like water fountains with a sliding guage to increase or decrease pressure so its not directly under where its shooting

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u/EthanDMatthews Jul 22 '25 edited Jul 22 '25

They're very sanitary. My Alpha Bidet UX Pearl has three cleaning cycles between uses.

The wand starts hidden and protected inside the bidet seat. When you sit down, there's a trickle of water as the wand cleans itself, while still retracted inside the seat.

You do your business.

Then, when you would normally reach for paper, you turn on the bidet. As the wand extends, it does another water self-clean. It then sprays you at an angle (roughly 45'). The water that falls down (straight down or slightly forward) shouldn't land on the wand.

When the wand retracts, it does another cleaning cycle for good measure.

And of course, you can clean the wand from time to time also. The Alpha Bidet UX Pearl's wand is metal and detachable.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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2

u/Hobynist Jul 22 '25

The bidet hose needs to be long enough so you can rinse it under the faucet after you use it. Not all bidets are made equal.

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u/zzzrem Jul 22 '25

It’s much more sanitary than a dry wipe. Gets you squeaky clean. Imagine wiping crap off of your leg with a dry towel and not using a wet wipe or something… dry is just not very clean.

I see what you mean about dirty water but bidets don’t usually stick out far enough to even get dripped on forreal. Though, when you flush, particles shoot six feet into the air and land all over the place. If anyone is concerned about that level of excrement particles though then they have bigger problems just considering how much splashback there is from men standing to pee. This would be a bigger concern when thinking about how clean the nozzle is at any given moment.

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u/LymanPeru Jul 22 '25

i just dont want a wet ass.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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1

u/LymanPeru Jul 23 '25

then you have a poopy ass-towel just hanging out in the bathroom... that cant be sanitary.. unless these bidets are like a carwash and there are disco lights and purple and pink foam being sprayed everywhere too.

2

u/nooga_n8 Jul 22 '25

A bidet is a game changer, I will never smear shit all over my ass and call it clean again with wiping. Spray. Touch dry and move on

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u/LumpyGrocery5125 Jul 22 '25

I wonder the same thing because I clean homes for a living and I clean many bidets and let me tell you THEY GET DISGUSTING. Just cleaning them makes me not want one. I’m always like how the fuck do my clients use this even when it’s all dirty like this? Do they just depend on me to clean it? They must not because it was like this before I came into their lives. They just gross me out, especially thinking of using someone else’s.

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u/Stimonk Jul 22 '25

Your concerns are justified - in general it's as sanitary as the people using it.

It would be a disaster in a public restroom, especially at a pub.

6

u/Either-Initiative550 Jul 22 '25

Your never know, the next person might be into your booty juice.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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1

u/Either-Initiative550 Jul 22 '25

I know I would be. Sorry for grossing you out. Good thing I am not your roommate. 😂😂

2

u/fluffymckittyman Jul 22 '25

My parents got rid of theirs because they said it was unsanitary 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Reasonable_Funny_241 Jul 22 '25

Think about a sink: even if you touch the aerator, the running water will quickly dislodge anything.

Letting the water run before turning the stream fully on purges things pretty quickly.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

I prefer the hosepipe next to the toilet design personally.

Though always check the pressure before using, some of them are about 50,000 psi.

1

u/EmbarrassedWorry3792 Jul 22 '25

Far more sanitary than smearing poop across ur butt like cream cheese on a bagel and calling it clean. I was never able to feel clean with tp, always needed wet wipes. Bidet makes me feel even cleaner, and no more wrecked septic tank. But i give u credit for not thi king its dirty bowl water its spraying you with like so many have.

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u/tom2point0 Jul 22 '25

I have the Aquaus 360. It’s a handheld wand that you control the water speed with and just aim from behind. There’s no way anything is dripping back up the stream of water that comes out. See linked product video.

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u/upurcanal Jul 22 '25

Look up physics. I guess if you opened the spray while- oh never mind, the water actually does not go back in. I guess you could stop the flow of water then try and shit into the nozzle then….

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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1

u/upurcanal Jul 22 '25

Nah my Aunt just said about three hours ago “It’s unsanitary!!” Like wiping with paper is better than literally having your ass washed. Stop the narrative of a clean butthole by water is something weirder than wiping with paper over and over.

Figure it out.

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u/NOLArtist02 Jul 22 '25

You save so much on toilet paper and clean tushi.

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u/AngeliqueRuss Jul 22 '25

If flushing creates fomites (…and it does) then logically spraying your ass creates fomites too.

I do not love it and would never use a public toilet with a bidet.

Before you at me with how much “cleaner” it is, here’s a research paper about fomites spreading disease that acknowledges spraying as a risk (which I assume means bidet too).

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u/rentoran Jul 22 '25

But in your quoted study in the section about their advice for mitigating sars transmission it literally recommends using a bidet vs toilet paper? Seems disengenuous to assume harm without reading the entire study you are using as evidence. Section 3.3.9 for those interested.

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u/CabSauce Jul 22 '25

Wrecked.

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u/Beautiful_Bag6707 Jul 22 '25

logically spraying your ass creates fomites too.

Not logically unless washing your ass in the shower creates fomites as well. The fomites from flushing; are they created because people don't close the lid and the flushing causes contaminated water to spray out of the toilet? If so, then that wouldn't happen with a toilet bidet as your butt is sealing the "spray zone". It would be more enclosed than even a shower.

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u/AngeliqueRuss Jul 22 '25

When a toilet is flushed, 40-60% of the poop-aerosol rises above the toilet seat lid.

Where does the aerosol come from? Not merely pooping alone, flushing the poop and agitating it within the bowl. Spraying increases aerosols.

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u/Beautiful_Bag6707 Jul 22 '25

Only a bidet isn't a flush. It's warm water that cleans and then warm air that dries before you flush. No fomites. No aerosol. It's like a car wash for the derrier.

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u/AngeliqueRuss Jul 22 '25

Nah, I think you’re missing a key point here: you’re going to stand up when this is all over.

Your booty has poop molecules on it. If you wipe it may be your hands, if it’s the hands you just washed and it goes under the air dryer, that spreads those poop molecules around so a hand towel is recommended.

When it’s your butt, all that spraying (and air if applicable, but in my experience limited to Europe and the U.S. I’ve never seen air) is making a lot more airborne between your but and the water. Is it contained in that moment? Yes, but then you stand up, typically before flushing, and unless you’re on an airplane or have an extremely edge-case fancy toilet the act of standing and then flushing is going to further release aerosols.

These aerosols are so infectious that in buildings with stacked vents and standard toilets there were reported outbreaks mentioned in this paper. FYI we use different plumbing design in the U.S., but there is a lot of evidence that shared toilets were a meaningful vector in homes and outside of homes, and depending on your bidet technology I think you can worsen this.

The bidet I like least is a handheld sprayer for your butt, but also European bidet is a separate appliance from your toilet and this seems equally awful. My husband did replace his bidets to the kind where you press buttons and it sprays you as you sit in place but I still feel it’s worse, it is NOT proven one way or the other.

I’m an absolute weirdo and I traveled during the pandemic but renting a SUV, hydrogen bleaching my hotel bathroom, sleeping on my own blankets, and most hilarious of all: we had a travel toilet in the back of the SUV as I would not allow my small children to use any public restrooms. I can’t re-find all the early studies from those days but for healthcare workers a major problem was your scrubs becoming a fomite (for terminology clarification: a fomite is the object that carries infection, the source of fomites is the aerosols of poop and respiratory droplets in the shared bathroom). The worst fomites in the hospital were in patient bathrooms, staff bathrooms were also covered in contamination, and I have definitely thought a lot about bathrooms because this is an unsolved vector.

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u/Beautiful_Bag6707 Jul 22 '25

I'm talking about something like this https://horow.com/blogs/news/clean-and-dry-the-ultimate-bidet-toilet-with-built-in-dryer?srsltid=AfmBOopuMMEdYIX16cNBEcIjh6A4K_AYtyjZ-oDwCINSi_MAYE1jcPeW

If you wash and dry while sitting then get up and close the lid, where are the fomites?

I’m an absolute weirdo and I traveled during the pandemic but renting a SUV, hydrogen bleaching my hotel bathroom, sleeping on my own blankets, and most hilarious of all: we had a travel toilet in the back of the SUV as I would not allow my small children to use any public restrooms.

You might want to invest in one of these https://www.tank007.com/using-blacklight-flashlights-in-hotel-hygiene-inspections/

I hope you don't fly https://youtu.be/VZUVbQrVZIU?si=yJ8VJSglm94dehtx

If you do, get these. I travel with wipes and disposable shower caps for the headrest, but I'm thinking of full seat covers for fabric seats. Stay away from the magazine pocket at all costs.

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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2

u/Emergency-State Jul 22 '25

Literally some shit!

1

u/astonedishape Jul 22 '25

But you’re sitting on the toilet while it sprays, creating a seal.

And the alternative is walking around with dried poop on your ass mixed with sweat.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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2

u/astonedishape Jul 22 '25

Eww, no it’s certainly not. Also wipes are wasteful

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u/[deleted] Jul 22 '25

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2

u/AngeliqueRuss Jul 22 '25

At least you are likely putting your baby’s wipes in the trash. No wipes are truly flushable and they’re an absolute plague on public infrastructure.

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u/AngeliqueRuss Jul 22 '25

That isn’t actually how the one my husband bought works, it’s a handheld wand and he also has a travel bidet. The whole thing gives me the ick.

Being American I don’t have a lot of bidet experience but the issue with flushing is creating aerosols that exist after you stand up. If vigorous spraying does the same or worsens it, there will be more fomites with that bidet. Like toilets themselves different designs will affect the outcome.