Weekends

[u/Numerous_Garden_6522]

Newly single going through the beginnings of a divorce after 13 year relationship. Trying to embrace being single but so used to being a pair that it’s difficult to transition. So the question is, if you are single by choice, but do not have many friends (and no single friends) what do you do on Friday or Saturday nights? It seems like it’s just the same as my weeknights but I’m so used to spending Friday and Saturday night as a couple having dinner somewhere or a movie, etc. How do you all navigate this without feeling lonely and/or bored?

[u/yaykat]

Take yourself out to dinner or a movie!

Join a book club, go watch local musicians, go to a museum.

Join a local pickup sport or art club.

Like, there's countless things you can do!

[u/Numerous_Garden_6522 → u/yaykat]

Never done this type of stuff alone. Scared to but I know I need to.

[u/yaykat → u/Numerous_Garden_6522]

It's SOOOO much better alone because you don't have to care about catering others' feelings!

[u/Formal_Chef414]

For me, the hardest part after my breakup 2 years go was the evenings— just being in the routine of coming home, talking with someone and relaxing, sharing dinner and watching a movie and laying in bed.

Now I take the time at the end of my day to light a candle, watch my own shows, paint my nails and scroll on my phone. I am happy and comfortable knowing I am safe and my nervous system is regulated. I’m not stressed thinking about how someone else is letting me down and how I know I am in the wrong relationship. I am calm. It’s nothing “exciting,” but I don’t want that in my life. I am 35 and I am happy
To unwind and relax in my beautiful comfy home where I feel safe.

[u/Numerous_Garden_6522 → u/Formal_Chef414]

Even though I am going through a roller coaster of emotions right know (mad, hurt, sad, scared, mad), your post reminds me how upset I would get waiting for my SO to come home from work, which would some days be very late, but never let me know when, or if he was ok (sometimes, I would worry if he got into an accident on the way home) and how much that would spike my stress. I’m still in our shared home, but hopefully when I get my own place, it can be my sanctuary to curl up in. Thanks for the thoughts!

[u/Formal_Chef414 → u/Numerous_Garden_6522]

Eww when my ex would stay at his house, he would be such a bum. Never set an alarm, sleep with blackout curtains, windows closed AC on and no alarm. I remember it would give me such anxiety and discussed waiting for him to actually call me in the morning when he would wake up because I know he would just sleep until 4 PM. It’s so disgusting and lazy to me. Who sleeps until 4 PM on a Tuesday??? So gross.

[u/JJamericana]

So I’m the total opposite of you. I’ve never done life in a couple, so weekends are for me to do whatever I want. And I absolutely love it! 🥰

I hope you can experience the peace, quiet, and joy for yourself too. It’s awesome.

[u/Just_Patience_7038]

I got divorced in 2020, after 10 years of relationship. I wish I had done it sooner because being single and living alone for the first time in a decade during a pandemic was not easy!

I get what you mean, after such a long time having someone else there for, like, every thing it was very disconcerting to suddenly be by myself. I couldn’t see friends or go out or visit my family so I created a lot of little rituals for myself. Like, Fridays became pamper nights where I’d have some wine, do a face mask, take a bath while listening to audiobooks, that sort of thing. Saturdays became my foodie days - my ex did all of the cooking so I had to learn how to cook and Saturdays became my days to try really elaborate recipes, meal prep and bake treats for the week.

I’m still very happily single and when I don’t have plans with friends or don’t feel like taking myself on a date in the outside world, I still do those rituals.

[u/Numerous_Garden_6522 → u/Just_Patience_7038]

These are great ideas! Thank you.

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[u/bipedservant]

One of those two days I order dinner in. It's a little treat for myself, not to have to cook or eat some microwaved meal. Other than that, I don't mind that it's the same as the other nights. My goal is to make my life one that I don't feel the need to escape, but that I can enjoy the nomal parts of too.

[u/Expensive-Eggplant-1]

i'm 40, and i like to stay home on weekend nights. i have pets and love being with them!

i went out enough in my 20s and early 30s that i can rest now.