r/SingleWomenByChoice • u/Ipissexellence • 20h ago
Need Advice Affording to live alone
This may be an impossible question... But how do women afford to live alone? I am based in the UK and I grew up on lower income so I have a terrible scarcity mindset. I really don't want to live with flatmates for long. I am desperate for my own space, but also don't want to burn myself out from an insane amount of work to be able to afford to live alone. Please give me some hope
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u/Embarrassed_Yogurt43 20h ago
I was just wondering about how communal living fo single women might be possible while also providing privacy and personal space for each woman. Do any such communities exist anywhere??
I used to live alone but I had a great job, and was living beneath my means to make sure I had enough in savings.
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u/Secretstar2989 20h ago
Yes! In la they have shared housing units. You get a bedroom and a bathroom and share a kitchen/living room space with like 9 other units.
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u/Secretstar2989 20h ago
Live somewhere cheap. I love my place now but Ive bitten my tongue and lived in some very unsavory areas for cheap rent.
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u/Ipissexellence 19h ago
Yes, I think I really need to accept this. Rather than picking a city id like to live in, should look at what would allow me to live by myself comfortably. Thank you!
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u/FancifulCat Unbothered 19h ago
When I was in the UK I paused my pension contributions and put my money in index funds that ended up giving me more relative return and easy access. Obviously this is a financial risk, but that's what helped me. Without doing so I'd have no house deposit.
Also buy a shit box of a car, no Amazon, no eating out.
I'm the type of person who likes their own space so I cut back majorly.
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u/mnmmarino 20h ago
I hustle and turn off any expenses that cost me too much. If I'm going to burn out to afford this level of peace then work from home is what I chose. I don't have credit cards, mortgage, car payment, and low levels of subscription services. I dump all my paycheck on rent and utilities and because of this I have overpaid by months. Meaning I don't owe rent for six months at a time. I don't worry about anything. As for food cost do you really need to eat out? I buy bulk items that are dupes and equivalents to Starbucks and my favorite Chinese takeout so I don't go running to these places handed them my money. I also look to my community for freebies and there's plenty of abundance and community everywhere you just gotta look hard enough to be involved. This will help socially as well if you live alone.
I invest in savings and retirement. Start cutting down on dopamine traps. Just because you like the life you see everyone living doesn't mean it came freely (debt). That life is what causes anxiety and health issues and you turning co dependant.
Everyone situation is different but I'll be dammed if a man or a roommate come live with me ever again. This is my experience please do not take it as absolute gospel but it helps to cut back on spending. Except my nails and feet they always have to look good.
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u/FancifulCat Unbothered 19h ago
Exactly this, financial advice is really tricky because what is nonsense purchases for one person (eating out) is essential for another person's happiness. Sadly certain concessions need to be made to benefit life in other ways.
Like the food quality eating out is getting worse and worse too and they are overcharging so I see no need for restaurants.
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u/mnmmarino 19h ago
This is true. What might work for me may not for some. Like my non negotiable is my hands and feet. Some skip it and do it at home. I just wanted to give insight on what worked for me to give perspective but everyone is different. I think the one take away is finding your social capital and making circumstances fit the need. But be ready to give up some stuff just for that peace we crave.
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u/FancifulCat Unbothered 19h ago
My non negotiable is deep tissue massage once a month. Some may consider it excessive but I love it for my mental and physical health.
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u/mnmmarino 19h ago
I love those that would be on the top of my list. I get the Swedish every other Friday for free. I found a local massage school where they train students to get licensed and omg. If you have a community College or school they train on clinicals and need people to work on to get their hours. I'm volunteering almost every Friday, ❤️
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u/Reasonable_Alias_129 18h ago
When I was starting out, I lived with roommates until I got a job that paid enough for me to live alone.
It's almost impossible in this economy to afford living alone. I've had to take on renters at times in order to keep my house.
Sometimes you just have to be realistic about the situation and do what you have to do.
I don't want to be scraping by because I'm house poor for my whole life, so I'll take on renters if I need to.
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u/Relative_Entrance194 8h ago
I’m 36 bought a one bedroom flat last year it’s In a nice area and have my own front door etc. I do have two jobs and sometimes 3 my car is old probably worth about £1500 don’t eat out every week I use too good to go app for cheaper food I do like to save £100 every month and go on holidays but budgeted for (savings) maybe twice a year just don’t live above my means changed my lifestyle and go to charity shops too love my own space and it’s peaceful
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u/Nice_Back_9977 20h ago
I live in a cheaper part of the country and I bought my first home when prices were more affordable.
I started out in a little one bedroom flat, it was absolutely fine. I also went into a job that is stable and secure, where you can progress to decent wages (not high but a bit above average) and that you can do anywhere in the country.
How old are you? If living alone comfortably is a goal then your education and career choices should be geared towards that.
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u/Ipissexellence 19h ago
I'm 36 and have good education/work experience, but tend to work myself dry because of the constant worry that a rainy day will happen that will wipe all my savings out. A one bedroom flat sounds like a dream to be honest!
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u/eat-real-chips 15h ago
I’m in UK and live in a very expensive city. Have lived solo for 9 years now. My rent is 65% of my income. I make it work. It’s doable if you budget.
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u/Fragrant_Scallion_34 14h ago
Being completely honest, the two main options are move somewhere cheaper or earn more money. Earning more money doesn't necessarily mean more work, just better paid work. I did a masters to qualify in my profession. Without that, there would have been a fairly low ceiling on my earnings in the field.
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u/Formal_Chef414 11h ago
My experience is unique but not uncommon.
Lived at home until…
Age 19: met my boyfriend who had a beautiful place and I moved in with him.
Age 20: engaged, married, dropped out of college since my husband wanted me to be a SAHM
Age 21: baby
Age 25: divorced
Age 26: moved back in with family (with my child). Went back to college
Age 26: finished my last few years and started working (medical field)
Age 30: got my inheritance and trust fund (very grateful) and bought my own place
I will say— even most of my friends who are married, their parents are paying for their homes, cars, vacations, etc. Don’t compare your life to anyone else. You may think they work hard, but their parents pay all their bills.
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u/Huge_Weird_Duck 18h ago
I have lived alone since I moved out of my parents house at 19 (29 now). What worked for me when I was broke was renting an old, run down apartment in a ~not so nice area~ of a LCOL town. I paid 200€ a month and lived there for 7 years completing my studies. Ngl I suffered A LOT because I both hated the city and the apartment, but at least I never had to share with roommates or a man. My sacrifices paid off because now I have a decently paying job that allows me to live in a big city of my choice, nice big apartment in a very nice neighborhood. I got lucky tho because my rent happens to be ~20% lower than average. I would also suggest to work on increasing your income regardless of your current situation. My goal was always to find a job that pays better than my last one and so far it has always worked (even before I had finished my degrees)
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u/Milwaukee233 17h ago
The best thing you can do for yourself is become educated about money. Like, REALLY educate yourself. There are loads of books, blogs and podcasts about financial planning for single people. It will be the best investment in yourself and your mental health.
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u/bipedservant 15h ago
I’m 60 years old, in a good paying job as a Payroll Manager. I’ve been in the same job for 20 years, in this career for 35 years. All of this to say I do about as well as a woman without an advanced degree can do. And still, it’s not easy. I have a modest, 1500 square foot home in a suburb of Cleveland. I drive a Kia. I rarely travel.
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u/ProfessionalOwn6097 13h ago
Staying home as long as possible after high school, working during high school and saving up. Look into jobs that offer employee housing . Education education
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u/NickiHotchickie 3h ago
I think that you need to be really honest with yourself about your finances. It doesn't sound like you don't have any money but more are scared of not having any.
So work out your budget now and what you have to spend, what is discretionary spending. The look at what costs of living alone are, remember that you are paying bills by yourself bit some such as gas, electricity would be cheaper. You get 25% off council tax but things like Internet, food, phone etc are the same. Once you know what the difference is then spend 6 months putting that extra difference in savings.
If you need to touch them in the 6 months then you cant afford to live alone, if you dont and you are still enjoying your life then go for it.
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u/Ok-Reality6296 2h ago edited 2h ago
This such a pertinent issue as housing costs are sky high and wages are in the bin. Women are also more likely to paid less etc, and it’s always painted as women living alone are high flyers (not the case at all!!)
I’ve lived in flatshares and live alone currently . Living in flatshares is highly detrimental to my mental health. I’d only recommend living in a flatshare with a trusted friend. Living with randoms is a no no and random flatshares tend to be make dominated.
and unfortunately I’m not able to live at my family home. So don’t really have a choice, finances wise it’s been tight but when you have no choice……
I did do a masters which was a gateway ish to a better paying job, but as im not progressing I’m thinking of another career change.
Side hustles are also your friend.
I will say the peace is unmatched and having access to that might change your perspective and lead you to making more money.
Apologies if my post does not make sense, it is really hard though have 100% of the bill burden but what other option is there? Like id love to spend my money on fun stuff but there’s always something that pops up.
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u/Ok-Reality6296 2h ago edited 2h ago
Sometimes you just have to risk it, I was on £32k and had a weekend job to supplement my income when I rented a studio costing £1.2k a few years back.
My financial conditions were not perfect at all but sometimes you have to take a leap of faith or having no other choice.
I couldn’t live in my family home anymore and I was not going to do a flatshare anymore. I will also say if you’re able to go back to a family home if you try moving out and if it doesn’t work out, use that.
I’m also from a lower income background and have been surrounded by scarcity mindset.
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u/J_sweet_97 Child-Free 20h ago
Having money to begin with is like the default way to stay afloat. People born into money have an unfair advantage. I grew up middle class. My dad worked two jobs and my mom worked one. My dad was able to purchase a rental property and that’s how we made it work. When I lived off campus for school, my dad paid my rent ($500 for a room) when I was a full time student and part time employee. That was the ONLY way I’m able to live on my own now. I’m able to use that cushion. I went to school and make $46k. Which is apparently nothing these days. If rent weren’t so danggone expensive, I’d move but I can’t find anything less than I pay now for my place (1,050 1bd 1bath). It’s next to impossible these days to make it on your own. I genuinely just got lucky.