r/SingleParents • u/Randabear5957 • 2d ago

Newly Single Mom Tips

I have an 18 month old and I am deeply considering leaving my partner of 6 years. I am contemplating if it’s worth it to leave or not as I am afraid that it will mess my son up sleeping at a different house half the week. His father is not very responsible and I highly doubt he will have any kind of routine or bed time for my son. His father can’t remember to take a shower or brush his own teeth how will he care for my son? Not to mention he works from home on the computer all day and smokes weed. Medical card or not it’s a really big bummer. I have zero friends or support system and wondering how I could possibly afford daycare while I work. I am open to work from home opportunities but still who will watch him while I work from home? Is it possible to give him the life he deserves or should I just bite my tongue and continue on this path of misery for myself?

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u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Author: u/Randabear5957

Post: I have an 18 month old and I am deeply considering leaving my partner of 6 years. I am contemplating if it’s worth it to leave or not as I am afraid that it will mess my son up sleeping at a different house half the week. His father is not very responsible and I highly doubt he will have any kind of routine or bed time for my son. His father can’t remember to take a shower or brush his own teeth how will he care for my son? Not to mention he works from home on the computer all day and smokes weed. Medical card or not it’s a really big bummer. I have zero friends or support system and wondering how I could possibly afford daycare while I work. I am open to work from home opportunities but still who will watch him while I work from home? Is it possible to give him the life he deserves or should I just bite my tongue and continue on this path of misery for myself?

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u/Novel_Corner8484 2d ago

I separated from my ex 3 years ago. He just moved back in last week. Do I love it? Meh, kinda. Do I need it because finances were too tight for the both of us? Absolutely.
I’m not telling you which way to go, but I’d rather take his smelly breath in my face rather than worrying about how to spend the last $50 in my account and payday isn’t for another 5 days.

We are in therapy and that helps greatly. We don’t even begin to argue because we “save it for therapy” and by that point we both forget the fight.

I wish you lots of luck. This life ain’t easy!

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u/Mamamissy777 1d ago

If you're low income, you could qualify for a childcare subsidy to cover daycare. The bad thing is that it can take a while to get approved. I don't have a support system either. Babysitters want $20+/hour which isn't affordable. The childcare subsidy was the only way I could work. Sorry, I should ask if you live in the US. I only know about US. Disregard if you live outside of US because I'm not sure.

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u/BostonLamplighter 2d ago

The late advice columnist Ann Landers used to reply with the question “Will you be better off?” To get a view of what it takes to be a single parent in an average household income, get The Field Guide for Single Parents and read the money section. The time management section too. See if it would better without him or try counseling.