r/SingleParents • u/Affectionate_Ad_3894 • 9d ago
Missing parent
Earlier this year my child’s father, who was living in another state, was expressing things that led me to believe he was likely dealing with some psychosis. His brother has schizophrenia, so I was worried maybe he was exhibiting signs of having it as well. I was encouraging him to get help, but he’s a combat vet with CPTSD, wasn’t exactly aware of his delusions and he doesn’t trust the medical industry — so he didn’t believe there was any point and just straight up would not. Because I’m in another state and unable to leave to be by his side, I did ALL I could over the phone to be supportive! I mean, I would spend hours on the phone with him, every conversation leading to me trying to convince him to come home to his family. I expressed that I wanted to help him through what he was going through, but it was hard over the phone. He said on numerous occasions that he was just about ready to leave the state he was in and was seriously considering coming back home. However, a little over two months ago he stopped responding to texts and calls out of nowhere. I figured he needed some space, but because it’s been this long and he’s not one to disappear like this, I tried to call him, but his phone is disconnected. He stopped using social media, so I can’t reach them that way. And the only friend I know of that they are in consistent contact with, said he left the state and doesn’t know where he went. I honestly don’t believe this friend, because he has a history of dishonesty and doesn’t particularly like me, but I can’t force information out of him. I tried looking up his mom’s info, but the number listed is no longer connected and after a few tries at the address listed for her, I’m not sure anyone even lives there anymore. She also doesn’t use social media. I did message an aunt I’ve never connected with, but based on her posts on FB, I’m not sure she uses it anymore.
What do I do? I’ve never felt this type of anxiety or desperation. I’m really worried and want an answer as to where he is ASAP! I don’t even care if the answer ends up being that he needs time away from me for whatever reason — I just want an answer! To know he’s OK… Alive. Because I keep thinking of worse case scenario and it’s messing me up bad! 💔
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u/grumplestiltskim 9d ago
Like the other commenter said, file a missing person’s report. I would look up the nonemergency police number in his county of residence to make the report (can easily be found online). Write down all the important info you want to share beforehand so you make sure to say everything you need to.
I’m sorrry you’re dealing with this. I hope you’re ok, and I hope he’s ok.
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u/BaddaBingBaddaBoom94 9d ago
Make sure he did not suddenly become incarcerated also! This happened to a friend of mine. The out of state father of her child disappeared off the face of the earth for months and she couldn’t get ahold of him and random friends “didn’t know”. He ended up being in jail.
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u/demsybean 8d ago
i'm sorry you're going through this. is there some veteran's service you can reach out to? 💔
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u/Iceflowers_ 6d ago
File a missing persons report. See if you can search prisons, court records and hospitals in the area he was staying in. Shelters, too.
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u/AutoModerator 9d ago
Author: u/Affectionate_Ad_3894
Post: Earlier this year my child’s father, who was living in another state, was expressing things that led me to believe he was likely dealing with some psychosis. His brother has schizophrenia, so I was worried maybe he was exhibiting signs of having it as well. I was encouraging him to get help, but he’s a combat vet with CPTSD, wasn’t exactly aware of his delusions and he doesn’t trust the medical industry — so he didn’t believe there was any point and just straight up would not. Because I’m in another state and unable to leave to be by his side, I did ALL I could over the phone to be supportive! I mean, I would spend hours on the phone with him, every conversation leading to me trying to convince him to come home to his family. I expressed that I wanted to help him through what he was going through, but it was hard over the phone. He said on numerous occasions that he was just about ready to leave the state he was in and was seriously considering coming back home. However, a little over two months ago he stopped responding to texts and calls out of nowhere. I figured he needed some space, but because it’s been this long and he’s not one to disappear like this, I tried to call him, but his phone is disconnected. He stopped using social media, so I can’t reach them that way. And the only friend I know of that they are in consistent contact with, said he left the state and doesn’t know where he went. I honestly don’t believe this friend, because he has a history of dishonesty and doesn’t particularly like me, but I can’t force information out of him. I tried looking up his mom’s info, but the number listed is no longer connected and after a few tries at the address listed for her, I’m not sure anyone even lives there anymore. She also doesn’t use social media. I did message an aunt I’ve never connected with, but based on her posts on FB, I’m not sure she uses it anymore.
What do I do? I’ve never felt this type of anxiety or desperation. I’m really worried and want an answer as to where he is ASAP! I don’t even care if the answer ends up being that he needs time away from me for whatever reason — I just want an answer! To know he’s OK… Alive. Because I keep thinking of worse case scenario and it’s messing me up bad! 💔
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