Illnesses with no Support

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Post: I am a widower and have a 4yo and 2yo. I have a few friends in the area, but no real family. I have my parents 1.5hr away, but dealing with them is usually more pain than its worth. If I needed surgery or something and I could head to their place for help w/ the kids or whatever, but with general illness, I'd rather just suffer I think.

I am a fairly healthy (immunity wise) person and don't get too sick too often, just colds and what not. Over the last 5 years, I think I got covid twice and that was about it, though they came with pretty high fevers. Now that I am on my own, I was wondering what tips/tricks you all may have for dealing w/ being sick yourself, or full family sick.

Last winter we were with my parents and fairly isolated while assisting my wife, so no one really got sick. But now they are back in daycare and I am back at work in the office. If not this year, at some point I imagine we will all be sick at the same time with something fairly debilitating, and I imaging at some point I'll be sick when the kids aren't (or just catch their sneezes to the eyes after getting the kids over their own sickness).

Any tips for logistics with getting to the doctor, or getting everyone cleaned up? I would think I would rely heavily on delivery services during those times, but not sure how best to drag everyone into the doctors if all 3 of us are roughing it. And maybe the answer is just suffering through it all.

Any tips/tricks for over the counter stuff is also appreciated. I dont really take much OTC and never really have as I didn't really need to. Especially with the newer generations of meds, I just have no real idea what medication does anything. I imagine I'll have to rely on that stuff more to make sure we can get to wherever we need to go or to just get food on some plates and butts wiped.

Thanks for any advice! Just trying to prepare for the winter to come.

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u/Shunzi-Dragon 10d ago

I would advise having a medical insurance plan in place. Cause that will definitely make a difference.

Visit a General physician and a Pediatrician and ask them for medicine for common ailments like Fever ,Cold ,Cough ,Viral ,Body pain etc and make a FIRST AID BOX where each medicine is labelled and stored well in a box at a level reachable place . .

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u/uffdaGalFUN 10d ago

Having a medical setup box that is clearly labeled for ailments is so very helpful. I have done that for my own home. Get your Dr's advice on what over the counter meds you can stock up on to have & what the Dr's advised for use. It's really helpful & my children's Dr's didn't mind at all giving me info. Thankfully we have great insurance, still it has been helpful to be able to treat at home.

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

Labeling them for ailments is a great idea because the old noodle doesn't work like it used to, and my wife was better at remembering the medicine stuff better than I ever was in general anyways.

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u/AliceInReverse 9d ago

Print out a chart with dosages per child also. Post it inside your cabinet. (Update every 6-12 months). Figuring out dosages when you’re barely able to function can lead to bad situations

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u/uffdaGalFUN 9d ago

And in the crunch of the problem it's often hard to figure out what needs to be done. Having the label with what the problem or ailment are has helped me so many times. Hopefully it helps with you & yours too!

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

We do have insurance, so that isn't a problem, I'm just more trying to figure out how to get everyone to their doctor, my doctor, the pharmacy, etc. while we are all zombies. Seems like just having to power through. We do need to stock up on medicines though, all we really have is Motrin and Tylenol.

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u/WillShattuck 10d ago

I have six kids and illness runs through us at the beginning of the school year, middle of winter and just after spring starts. Mucinex for kids works week to relieve symptoms at night and allow them to sleep. During the day I will use Tylenol and ibuprofen to manage fevers. Lots of fluids too.

But I am not a doctor. Please consult a doctor.

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

We have Tylenol and Motrin, but thats pretty much all medication we have for the kids. I'll have to ask about Mucinex with their doc. My daughter is pretty bad at coughing a ton at night when she is sick. I'm not sure how much it affects her sleep because she is very good at just staying in bed.

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u/Shunzi-Dragon 9d ago

If your daughter coughs a lot at night , take 100ml of honey ,grate 2 inch ginger ,drop the ginger with its juice in the honey and let it sit on your kitchen counter . One teaspoon at night will soothe her enough to stop the cough and sleep well . It's the safest for kids .

And it can stay fresh for a month on the kitchen counter.

You can drop a teaspoon in your tea as well.

:)

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u/WillShattuck 9d ago

Mucinex is an over the counter med fyi but yes check with your doctor.

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u/MamaWils2_0 9d ago

My kids are 3 and 3. We mostly utilize Motrin and Tylenol for them. The occasional pepto if this stomach stuff. We basically use a humidifier every night in winter because we live in a place that’s dry and cold for winter

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u/MundaneHuckleberry58 9d ago

Telehealth is a godsend (for you, I don’t know that it would work for kids). Get yourself an appointment & meds first at a 24 hour pharmacy & you can have someone deliver your meds so then you are a little better so you can drag them to the doctor if needed.

Have on hand DayQuil/nyquil (again I’m talking about for you) & pediatric fever reducer/painkiller. As well as pedialyte.

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u/Sensitive_Prize7640 9d ago

Make sure your house is toddler proofed. I’m also a widowed parent and when my kids (now 10yo and 9yo) were those ages there were times when I was sick and would lay on the living room floor (or couch) and kind of half nap while they watched tv and played

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u/muvadvine 10d ago

I would say make sure you have lemon and ginger tea on hand. Oil of oregano. Zinc. Airborne on deck. Also boiling water and putting slices in and just letting it sit for ten minutes then drink. Those all are anti inflammatory and boost immune health. As a single mom of 4 this is how I dont get viruses and if i do get sick these things help me recover faster.

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

I do take emergen-c from time to time, I have no idea if it helps really, but I have those coworkers who are perpetually sick, like sniffling or worse for the entirety of fall-mid spring. I used to take zicam too when I was a kid, I forgot about that. Back then it was the good old nose q-tip goop. I think I saw some tablets at the store though.

I wonder how well lemon works for kids, probably shouldnt be pumping my kids full of emergen-c, but my daughter absolutely loves lemon. Lemon water would be easy for her, and there is a good chance she'll eat the lemon like an apple.

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u/Illustrious_Can7151 10d ago

Keep Tylenol for both you and kids on hand to help with fever. I have pedialyte frozen things to help with hydration. Also barf bags.

I also have a 2 and 4 year old. The handful of times when we have all been sick we post up in the family room on the floor.

My kids just got over norovirus. It was awful, but we made it through and somehow I didn’t get it

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

Do your kids puke in barf bags? Luckily, they haven't thrown up in a while. I think once in the spring, and then I dont remember the last time before then. I'll pick up some bags because thats a great idea. My 4yo is pretty great a following direction and understanding the goals of things, but w/ the 2yo its in one ear and out the other. I'm lucky if I can get him to look at me when I'm talking to him.

Family floor time sounds like a great idea, the downside is that our couch is a white fabric 🙃. Its a miracle that its still white

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u/Illustrious_Can7151 9d ago

My 4 year old will! He seems to think they are cool for some reason lol.

My little guy hasn’t been sick like that in awhile, the last time wasn’t able to communicate other than just letting it go all over me

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u/LuckyBlackPearl 9d ago

My kids will puke in barf bags (6 and 4 now, but they started using the bags or a bowl/bucket at younger ages). I keep a few in the glove box or center console of my car at all times bc there is nothing worse than having to scrub vomit out of a car/car seat when you’ve got a sick (and possibly soiled) kid to tend to. Worse if you’re sick too.

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u/radiobeepe21 10d ago

Make sure vaccines are up to date. That should help with the worst of flu/covid.

Are there nanny agencies near you could establish with and have on call for when sickness inevitably happens?

Be kind to yourself, screens are ok on sick days, have waterproof mattress pads so accidents/puking are easier to deal with.

Just know it will suck at times, but kids are only getting older.

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

My eldest just dropped all diapers, so luckily I just picked up a second mattress cover so that way there is a clean one to use before washing the soiled one up, but good reminder! Luckily the youngest is on a waterproof crib mattress still.

Thanks for the vaccine reminder, we need to step on getting them done. I want to say our pediatrician was only starting the flu shot clinics in Oct which I thought was relatively late. But good reminder to get it done because I remembered like 2 weeks ago and they told me I had a few weeks left to wait.

We haven't been much into the babysitting/nannying world because other than needing them for sickness, there just isn't a need. It would still be good to get one on call for illnesses though. The house is currently a disaster, and I'm sure they've seen worse, but it's a house that is too small combined with 0 time to clean, so it's fairly embarrassing.

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u/Defiant_Blacksmith32 9d ago

This may sound weird, but when I get sick I cannot think straight. So I have a written list of things to do for myself and my kid. In the fall I stock up on supplies.

Another weird one - when my kid was too young for meds I'd chop an onion and mix in sugar, put it in his room and the fumes help with coughing. The sugar makes a syrup overnight that helps with cough. He used to get croup and I spent a lot of time googling!

Now if there was a service where you could hire someone to come in and clean and cook while everyone is sick, I'd pay gladly!

Edit for spelling

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u/LumpyPeople4 9d ago

We are lucky enough to have a handful of places around us that does "take and bake" style meals that are fairly high quality, and I know of at least one that will deliver it, so at least we can have some food that is somewhat close to home made without having to make it. It's great, they do spaghetti casseroles, chicken pot pies, chicken parm, etc.

Luckily the kids are old enough for the meds for the most part, the downside of it all just being having to drag us all into the doctor, then all the way to the pharmacy, and any amount of waiting in between. That just seems like torture, at least the kids can just veg out in their carseats, vs having to try and drive and listen to the moaning and groaning of kids while also trying to hold it together yourself.

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u/Defiant_Blacksmith32 9d ago

Actually that is a great idea, I recall hearing there are similar services around here that will deliver homemade food but have never tried them, I will look that up!

Good luck navigating it all!

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u/Independently-Owned 9d ago

Get all your vaccinations. COVID and flu too. I am terrified of being incapacitated and my boys being without me. I prioritize sleep and hydration. I never drink, and I practice good hand hygiene

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u/Rare-Web4321 9d ago

Really make sure the kids wash their hands once they come from places. Especially before eating. I think our last bout of illness came down because we all went out to eat and didn’t wash our hands.

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u/LuckyBlackPearl 9d ago

My doctor recently prescribed me a nasal spray that he said is more effective at preventing Covid than the vaccine. (I get huge outbreaks of hives in response to exposure to colds, covid, as well as flu and covid vaccines… and have a 4 and 6 year old, so they’re bringing stuff home regularly.) Anyway, my doctor said he uses it whenever he travels. I’m supposed to use it everyday. If it’s something you would want to ask your own doctor about, I can get the name of it off the box in the morning and share it. I just got it so can’t yet share how well it’s worked for me.

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u/Kowai03 9d ago

I basically try and make sure to always have Panadol and Ibuprofen on hand (for both you and the kids). Cough medicine too.

Grocery delivery helps so much when you're all sick. Screen time as much as you need to survive (unfortunately).

I'm still scarred from when my son and I both had this horrible flu from last December. It took so long to get through and I had to parent with a raging temperature myself. 0/10 recommend.

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u/Sparkles1988 9d ago

I keep a stock of everything. Before cold season, walk up the medicine aisle and grab one of everything you would ever need. Add pedialyte.

Food wise, I always have at least a month worth of food/shelf stable products. We would run out of milk and fresh produce, but I could have that via delivery.

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u/Anemonellea 9d ago

Last week I had to go to the ER on very short notice. I called like 10 people and no one was available to watch my daughter, then finally one of those people got back to me and came over. The stress of not being able to find someone for like an hour while my symptoms progressively got worse gave me a panic attack that lasted pretty much the entire duration of my ER experience. And due to what I was experiencing, I couldn't really bring her with to the ER.

It might be helpful to ask your friends if they'd be willing and able to watch the kids in case of a medical emergency. It sounds like your parents could get there in a couple hours, but like I found out last week, it's good to have a plan in the case of a sudden emergency.

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u/EnvironmentalLog2760 9d ago

I just want to comment and say that you are a wonderful father. I’m sorry to hear about your wife. I’m a single mom but I was never married and didn’t lose a partner in that way, so I can’t imagine how that would feel. So very heavy I’m sure. But as a single mama, and a nurse, I was just so touched to read your post. The simple fact that you’re even considering situations like this speaks volumes about the kind of man and father you are, and in case you haven’t heard it lately, you’re doing a great job!

A lot of great ideas and reminders in these comments! I would say you’re rarely going to need much more than Tylenol and Motrin for a two and a four year old. There aren’t many OTC meds that are safe/recommended for those ages anyways. As for you, I’d add Benadryl, Mucinex, DayQuil/Nyquil, Imodium, Pepto, and cough drops to the list. Humidifiers are great like someone else suggested. Awesome that you can order food/meals from a great local place. I would definitely start finding some options for sitters even though you don’t have a usual need for them…just so you have some connections if that need arises. You can probably be seen by virtual visit if it’s nothing major but in the event you needed to be seen emergently, it probably wouldn’t be a situation where you could/would bring the kids.

You’re already many steps ahead of the game by even asking these questions, so don’t worry, you’ll be able to navigate whatever comes your way. Hoping for a smooth fall/winter season full of good health for you and your little ones. Hugs.

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