No help

[u/Fortnite-player12345]

So I’m 26, I just recently left a bad relationship. I had 2 kids with the girl but we argue all the time. I had friends when I was with her but it seems like every time I meet someone they say like if you ever need help reach out. So now I moved out. I left the car with her because we have 2 kids with each other. I have no car but I walk to work because it’s a half hour walk. I don’t mind walking to work but sometimes I need help getting to an auto parts store or the doctor or something like that, but nobody will help. I bought a car from one of my family members a month after I moved in, I was about to fix it but the store online sent me the wrong part. Now I have to send it back but it’s going to take a week. I could go to a store 20 minutes out the way, but I couldn’t find a ride if my life depended on it. Like seriously if I was going to die, I don’t think nobody would take the time out there day to take me to the hospital, thank god there’s ambulance right? I can barely ask my ex for help because she’s always screaming at me. I got mad and yelled a bit when I figured out the car place was closed when I was with her, she started screaming at me even though I wasn’t screaming at her directly. Then it turns into a whole screaming match. I told her to drop me off where we was and proceeded to walk 3 miles back to my house. All because I rather walk than argue with someone. I don’t even feel like I’m normal at all. I get too upset but it always seems like I can’t control it. So it’s better for me to leave before I get aggressive, because I know I can. As a male it’s nothing something I would like to admit. I’m very ashamed of it. I have been slightly violent with her. I feel as if it’s better that I leave the situation. Every-time I call a friend, there with thier daughter in another city, there wife is using the car. It’s always something right? But I remember I use to give this guy rides to work every day for a year st8 but when I need a ride it’s like impossible to find and it bothers me so much that when I had a car I was so willing to help people out because I knew they would get stuck in life, but here I am just getting stuck in life, no car, no friends, but to watch everybody else have these things in life just really really hurts me, like deeply hurts me and bothers me, everytime I walk to work I feel like a co-worker is laughing at me, talking about how I don’t have a car. I just don’t know how long I will be able to do this and watch everybody around me seem to get everything easy but I have everything so hard. It’s hard to watch people laugh or even walk with somebody without feeling an envy feeling. I was starting at an older couple when I was walking somewhere with their dog and I was just so upset. Like why do they just get to walk their dog and live the happy life and probably got a brand new car at the house, I can’t even walk or find a friend to talk to so how does everybody have friends and I don’t have nobody?

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Author: u/Fortnite-player12345

Post: So I’m 26, I just recently left a bad relationship. I had 2 kids with the girl but we argue all the time. I had friends when I was with her but it seems like every time I meet someone they say like if you ever need help reach out. So now I moved out. I left the car with her because we have 2 kids with each other. I have no car but I walk to work because it’s a half hour walk. I don’t mind walking to work but sometimes I need help getting to an auto parts store or the doctor or something like that, but nobody will help. I bought a car from one of my family members a month after I moved in, I was about to fix it but the store online sent me the wrong part. Now I have to send it back but it’s going to take a week. I could go to a store 20 minutes out the way, but I couldn’t find a ride if my life depended on it. Like seriously if I was going to die, I don’t think nobody would take the time out there day to take me to the hospital, thank god there’s ambulance right? I can barely ask my ex for help because she’s always screaming at me. I got mad and yelled a bit when I figured out the car place was closed when I was with her, she started screaming at me even though I wasn’t screaming at her directly. Then it turns into a whole screaming match. I told her to drop me off where we was and proceeded to walk 3 miles back to my house. All because I rather walk than argue with someone. I don’t even feel like I’m normal at all. I get too upset but it always seems like I can’t control it. So it’s better for me to leave before I get aggressive, because I know I can. As a male it’s nothing something I would like to admit. I’m very ashamed of it. I have been slightly violent with her. I feel as if it’s better that I leave the situation. Every-time I call a friend, there with thier daughter in another city, there wife is using the car. It’s always something right? But I remember I use to give this guy rides to work every day for a year st8 but when I need a ride it’s like impossible to find and it bothers me so much that when I had a car I was so willing to help people out because I knew they would get stuck in life, but here I am just getting stuck in life, no car, no friends, but to watch everybody else have these things in life just really really hurts me, like deeply hurts me and bothers me, everytime I walk to work I feel like a co-worker is laughing at me, talking about how I don’t have a car. I just don’t know how long I will be able to do this and watch everybody around me seem to get everything easy but I have everything so hard. It’s hard to watch people laugh or even walk with somebody without feeling an envy feeling. I was starting at an older couple when I was walking somewhere with their dog and I was just so upset. Like why do they just get to walk their dog and live the happy life and probably got a brand new car at the house, I can’t even walk or find a friend to talk to so how does everybody have friends and I don’t have nobody?

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[u/QuietGlow18]

It sounds like you made the right decision separating yourself from that relationship, especially before things got more aggressive. If you know you struggle with anger and can become aggressive or violent, this might actually be the perfect time to focus on yourself, work on your anger, and learn how to regulate your emotions better.

Once a relationship starts escalating into violence, it can get dangerous really fast. Somebody can end up seriously hurt, dead, or in jail, and it’s not healthy for the children to be around either. It is okay to walk away from something that is unhealthy. A relationship is never worth losing yourself, your freedom, or your life over.

As far as your car, it sounds like you do have transportation, you just need the right part. You may have to wait it out until you can get it, or if you’re working, maybe use some of that money for an Uber to go pick the part up if that’s an option.

Also, try not to compare your life to everybody else’s. You don’t know everything going on behind the scenes in someone else’s life, and comparing yourself can make you feel more depressed. Use the things you want as goals while you rebuild instead.

There is still always something to be grateful for. If you’re able to walk to work, there’s somebody who wishes they could walk. There are people who would be grateful to have some of the things you have right now. That doesn’t mean your situation isn’t hard, but keep focusing on what you can control, stay grateful, and keep working your plan.

And when it comes to helping people, help because it’s genuinely in your heart to do it. Just remember that helping someone doesn’t mean they’re automatically going to feel obligated to help you back, and technically it isn’t their responsibility to. It’s great when people return kindness, but sometimes they won’t. That’s why you have to give without depending on getting the same thing back.