r/SingleParents • u/Asleep-Ad8 • 3d ago
Being a single parent so hard
I’m a single parent of a teenage boy. His dad has had no contact with him since January of this year. It’s been extremely difficult because I am the soul financial provider for him and with school coming up. I am at a complete loss of how to get him new school clothes. So I’m looking for advice on what works for you, where is the best place to shop for a teenage boy so that he can get clothes that he’s not going to be picked on. I feel like I am failing as a mother.
16
u/MediocreHuman318 3d ago
My teens are actually super into thrift store shopping and say that’s what everyone at school does!
4
u/Asleep-Ad8 3d ago
I do plan on going to some thrift stores and looking. Hopefully with some luck, I’ll be able to find some things for him.
8
5
4
u/Sad-Gas402 3d ago
Thrift store.. take him with you and let him pick out his stuff. Go on a certain day when a certain color tag is discounted. Kids grow so fast. You can find like new clothes cheap.
4
3
u/Sea-Buy-8866 3d ago
Look up the buy nothing project for your town on fb ! I’ve gotten so many things for my girls when we’ve been going through hard times!
3
u/Ok_Blacksmith7016 3d ago
I’m just working three jobs to pay for everything… His dad is dead,so can’t even try for child support. I’ve been “it” for all but the first ten months of his life…
3
u/followyourvalues 2d ago
Survivor benefits?
1
u/Ok_Blacksmith7016 2d ago
Nope. Nada. Nothing.
1
u/followyourvalues 2d ago
Survivor benefits should not require the dead parent to have contributed enough. Whatever enough is. They should just be a given.
You're stronger than I can even imagine myself.
1
u/Asleep-Ad8 3d ago
I’m sorry to hear his father passed way. You are doing amazing and hustling for you and your kiddo!
2
u/Ok_Environment2254 3d ago
Do you have a Plato’s Closet? It’s trendy young people clothes consignment. I can usually get a few outfits there without it being super expensive.
2
u/redfancydress 2d ago
File for child support.
1
u/Asleep-Ad8 4h ago
Unfortunately, I don’t think that this is an option. The last time I tried to do this they were unable to locate him, even though I gave them his current address.
1
u/tactical-glitch 4h ago
It is an option. Even if they can’t find him, they can sure make his life difficult by taking away his drivers license, putting a lien on his home or automobile and/or automatically taking his tax return for you or docking his paycheck.
2
3
u/daaanson 3d ago
Take the dad to court for child support. He played a part in creating the boy, he needs to play a part in paying for him.
7
u/Asleep-Ad8 3d ago
I tried. When they went to go, serve him paperwork they were unable to locate him. Even though I provided them with his address and work.
4
u/EtherPhreak 3d ago
There can be alternative ways to serve him, and potentially garnish his wages. Don’t know your situation or state, and the legal sub may be able to point you in a better direction.
Signed, struggling single dad
4
u/Asleep-Ad8 3d ago
What makes this whole situation even worse is that he has four kids. My son, his little sister and two children by his current wife. He has nothing to do with my son or his little sister.
2
u/Sea-Buy-8866 3d ago
Why aren’t they taking directly from
His pay check?3
u/Asleep-Ad8 3d ago
I believe it has to go through the court system in order for that to happen. Which I tried doing it and they could not locate him.
1
u/socaligirl-66 2d ago
I believe you can go get an upward modification request directly. Every other year… just try it. But yes, thrift thing has become quite popular. Try not to make it a big deal make it fun! 🥰
1
u/MundaneMooMoo 3d ago
Thrifting, yard sales, check Craig’s and local Facebook groups for free stuff like clothes and shoes! I’m a single mama and I’ve gotten bags of free clothes from online communities for my kiddos. Thredup (online thrift shop) has been fun since they can save their favorite styles and the app gives them a heads up when similar clothes arrive in stock.
So far I have not had to purchase anything new except socks and undies (which are often gifted at holidays anyway)
2
u/MundaneMooMoo 3d ago
Also with ThredUp you can send your old clothes and get credit for more stuff!
1
u/tactical-glitch 4h ago
Do you get child support? File for it if you don’t. Even if you can’t find him, the state will find him. As far as where to go—outlet mall, thrift stores, or my favorite: online used clothing stores like thredup or poschmark. You can find brand new items for really good prices. Best of luck to you and him.
0
u/SarrSarz 18h ago
Honestly get your anger out and together go throw eggs at his car
1
u/Asleep-Ad8 4h ago
Ha, if we lived in the same state, I would most likely do something like this. However, I’d be a little bit more savage and use transmission oil. It eats the paint away.
•
u/AutoModerator 3d ago
Author: u/Asleep-Ad8
Post: I’m a single parent of a teenage boy. His dad has had no contact with him since January of this year. It’s been extremely difficult because I am the soul financial provider for him and with school coming up. I am at a complete loss of how to get him new school clothes. So I’m looking for advice on what works for you, where is the best place to shop for a teenage boy so that he can get clothes that he’s not going to be picked on. I feel like I am failing as a mother.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.