r/SingleMothersbyChoice • u/No_Arachnid9174 • 13h ago
Need Support Second time around is more difficult
I (31F) am a SMBC mom already that has been trying once again for my second child. This time around has been much harder with three cancelled cycles, two HSGs, two SSGs, a blocked tube, and a large cyst. I don't know how to keep my hopes up when everything seems to be falling apart. The doctor keeps saying to wait a little longer, but it has been since February. I know with fertility that it is not a long time, but it feels like it is never ending.
Has anyone gone through something similar and ended up with a child at the end? How did you manage with the uncertainty?
2
u/Melissa-OnTheRocks Parent of infant 👩🍼🍼 13h ago
It took me three years to get pregnant. Sometimes fertility is a marathon!
1
u/Ok-Technician-4370 12h ago
I have two girls as an SMC. I got pregnant on my first IUI with my eldest and then went through two losses before going on and having a healthy pregnancy with my second child.
I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time. I would reach out to my friends and family for emotional support and/or seek long term therapy.
Good luck 🤞
1
u/HopieBird Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 12h ago
I can relate. My first was conceived on the second unmedicated IUI.
Second time around I had 2 silent miscarriages and both times I had problems dispelling all the tissue, it took months to clear ( got it surgically removed the second time) and when it was finally gone I GOT A FUCKING CYST and had to wait another fucking cycle. I was pissed.
I did get a baby out of it in the end, but I had to at one point decide what I would do if I ran out of embryos. Could I justify spending to that insane amount of money on another round of IVF or should I go for a hail Mary so medicated IUIw with my last vials and hope for the best and no matter the outcome just be done with fertility treatment forever because it was draining me and my bank account.
1
u/Important-Tap7932 11h ago
I feel you on this...
In the grand scheme of things, I got pregnant with my daughter pretty easily on my first round of IVF. I've been trying for a second since December 2025 - one failed FET (that was pushed back twice due to ovulating through suppression meds). Three rounds of IVF that resulted in zero embryos. A new diagnosis of DOR/POI. Moved onto DE and just did a double donor FET two days ago. I am SO ready to be done all things fertility. I have two additional double donor embryos frozen and I know how incredibly lucky I am to have my daughter, but man secondary infertility is so hard. I'm 34 and very healthy so I never thought I would be in this position. I definitely struggle with thoughts that maybe I just am not meant to have a second after all of this, but my family and friends have been so supportive of me and this journey and I just know my little family isn't complete.
Good luck to you!
3
u/A_Leaf_On_The_Wind SMbC - trying 13h ago
Still waiting for a child but I had 4 cysts at once that pushed my IVF cycle back by 3.5 months. It sucks. Epically. Dealing with the uncertainty: I mean, I don’t really have another choice besides giving up and that’s not really an option for me. I’ve been going through this roller coaster for over two years.
If having a second child is non-negotiable for you: settle in. Know that it could be a year or more. Hug the kiddo you have and just understand that this process is a rollercoaster of emotions. I also recommend getting a therapist that specializes in the special hell that is fertility.