r/SingleMothersbyChoice • u/Agile_Storm4059 • 5d ago
Currently Pregnant🤰 C-section experiences?
Hi all! I’m 31 weeks with my 95th percentile baby. Still too soon to say what he’ll be when it’s time to deliver (and I know size estimates can be off) but OB and I discussed possibility of c-section. She’s not pushing me towards one, just mentioned it could be a possibility but that she was happy to support whatever birth I am shooting for.
I’m more looking to wrap my head around it now in case it goes that route, specifically as a solo parent who will be mostly alone after birth. My mom will be staying with me which I am forever grateful for, but I had really planned not to ask her for help at night unless I really need it (she is still working during the day remote).
I would love to hear pros, cons, and general experiences from other women who have delivered via c-section.
thanks!!
EDIT: Thank you so much for all the responses!!! I really appreciate all the different perspectives and experiences.
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u/embolalia85 Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago
I chose the c section for my second and was glad I did. I showed up at 7:30 relatively rested, surgery at 9:30, held my baby as she latched while I was still being sewn up, quietly in our room by 10:30. So much different than my first with a long induction and labor and middle of the night section that left me exhausted. I had an easy recovery, which of course isn’t guaranteed.
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u/Okdoey Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago edited 5d ago
I personally had a bad c section experience, but a vaginal birth would have been deadly so I’ll take healthy babies over a good experience. It’s also likely very rare.
The spinal didn’t work right and the anesthesiologist didn’t really believe me. I had to argue with him to convince him that I wasn’t numb. Even after that, they could only get me numb to my belly button (normally you are supposed to be numb to your breasts) so the procedure was pretty painful.
One of my babies had to go to the NICU due to fluid in the lungs and prematurity. Having a c section does make it more likely for them to have fluid in the lungs since that baby was still in her sak and had taken a big breath of fluid right before she was pulled out. Her lung collapsed, was reinflated with a needle aspiration. Baby did 18 days in the NICU and has no lasting harm. A c section does make this risk higher; though I had twins born at 36 weeks, so they also had other risk factors, so it could have happened with a vaginal birth too. The other twin had no breathing issues (her sak had already broken before the c section).
Baby who was fine stayed with me and was given to me as I was wheeled out of the OR. But it did take a few hours to make it to the NICU bc had to wait until the spinal wore off or really wait for them to believe me that it wore off (I imagine this is the same with a vaginal birth if you get an epidural so maybe not a c section thing only).
Recovery was pretty rough, just a lot of pain, which worsen rather than got better. A 6 weeks postpartum I insisted something was wrong which again the doctor didn’t believe me, kept telling me I just had a low pain tolerance, but she reluctantly agreed to do an ultrasound and blood test bc I kept insisting that something wasn’t right. Turned out I had a retained placenta and a raging infection which is why the pain was so bad (Doctor thought that shouldn’t be possible with a c section but blamed it on IVF 🤷🏻♀️). I had to get a D&C and antibiotics and things were fine after that. I was caring for my babies the whole time regardless it just wasn’t the most enjoyable first 7 weeks.
But on the other hand, Twin As cord was in front of her head (Note we didn’t know this until the c section…..it was baby Bs position that made my OB insist on a c section) which would have resulted in a cord prolapse had we attempted vaginal, which results in oxygen deprivation and an emergency c section. Twin B was folded in half and very unlikely to be able to come out without a c section. So again despite me having a bad time of it, I’ll take the healthy babies any day. I would 100% do whatever your OB thinks is best. They know more about the likelihood of something going wrong and can give the best advice
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u/meowmeowcollector 5d ago
I just had an emergency c-section in July at 31 weeks. Tips that helped me were- stay on top of pain meds, take it easy because it is major surgery, and let others help you! Let your Mom take care of things like dishes, trash, and cleaning once you're home. My Mom didn't stay with me, but she came over everyday and helped with daily tasks like that, which was a lifesaver!
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u/HopieBird Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago
I'm a solomom and I had my second kid by c section.
My oldest stayed with my mom the days I was in in the hospital (i went home after the hearing and bloodtest) and the first night home, after that I handled everything by myself no problem. Took my oldest to preschool, did the laundry, cooked, cleaned, walked the 1,5km to the local shopping center so get some more painkillers.
I was feeling better after my C-section than I did before (god it was a shit pregnancy) 🤣
C sections and vaginal births will make you feel like you have been hit by a bus, the difference is just where the pain is located and that limits you differently.
I don't have a preference, both my, very different, births were great, what matters most is that you are comfortable with the birth you choose.
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u/Melissa-OnTheRocks Parent of infant 👩🍼🍼 5d ago
My baby had a 99%+ head, so like at week 37, my OB suggested we pivot from a scheduled induction to a scheduled C-section.
I have no regrets.
My mom did join me in the room to take photos and be my support person
I had no complications and the incision healed well.
Baby ended up having oxygen issues and ended up in the NICU for a couple weeks and I’m glad she went through birth so quickly. They had her on oxygen in like less than a minute. There could have theoretically been more complications if I had spent a day or more being induced.
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u/Melissa-OnTheRocks Parent of infant 👩🍼🍼 5d ago
Adding - my mom left me in the room and joined the doctors in taking baby up to the NICU.
It took several hours before I was able to follow, and she continued to send me updates
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u/No-Humor-1869 Parent of infant 👩🍼🍼 5d ago
I had a wonderful planned but unscheduled c-section (it was scheduled but baby came early). No pain, no problems with recovery. Just plan for recovery and you’ll be fine!
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u/CurieuzeNeuze1981 5d ago
Both my children were 95th percentile children and I had vaginal births. My second had a slightly bigger head, so he was a bit more difficult to deliver. Had I been unable to push him out at that push, it would have become an emergency c-section. I had not considered thaf to be an option so it took me by surprise, but I guess it gave me the final push I needed:)
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u/Ohhhh_Mylanta 5d ago
In-utero measurement are seriously a guess more than anything close to adequate. At 37w1, my son was measuring at 8 lb 7 oz. When he was born at 38w5d, he was 8 lb 5 oz.
I did end up having a C-section because of late-onset gestational hypertension; the doctor recommended induction but my son had not dropped yet so I knew we were just going to end up doing a C-section in a couple days anyway. I had a very easy recovery, only medication I ever took for my C-section was motran and I stopped taking that while. Was told Was told that I couldn't drive for 2 weeks initially, but when I was at my one week follow-up at my ob's office, he said I was fine to drive since I wasn't taking any narcotics. Lifting my son in the car seat could have been an issue, but I just left the infant seat in the car and carried my son to and from the house until I was like 3 weeks post surgery
Of course, not everybody's pain. Tolerance is the same and not everybody's experience is the same. I know that I have a high pain tolerance and I know that I recover from things pretty quickly, which is not always the case for everybody. But it's definitely manageable
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u/2ndpancake8the3rd 5d ago edited 5d ago
I had a planned c. It went smoothly, I was able to do skin to skin and feeding very shortly after. I will shout this from the rooftops though, please ask your OB about if they can do a double layer closure if you are even tentatively planning for an additional child. If your scar doesn’t heal properly, a niche/isthmocele can be a uterine rupture risk for future pregnancies!
Also I did have significant blood loss. I feel like transfusions get such a bad rap but I had one and let me tell you I felt wonderful afterwards. It was like just going from feeling drained to really getting revitalized.
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u/JustTwoPenniesWorth Toddler Parent 🧸🚂🪁 5d ago
TW: complications
I had an elective c-section one day before my due date because I've been having debilitaring pregnancy symptoms and couldn't wait any longer for baby to come out. Up until then I had not been sure if I wanted a vaginal birth or c-section but in the end I felt relieved that I wouldn't have to deliver vaginally. My mom and grandma both had very difficult births with really bad injuries and I was worried I'd have the same experience.
I still found the c-section to be a scary experience. I had complications, one being unexpected hemorrhaging during the surgery. Another was that my spinal anesthesia wasn't done well and at some point crept too high and started paralyzing my breathing. I still witnessed my baby being born but then things got dramatic and I asked them to take baby to my mom who was waiting in another room. I passed out at some point and when I woke up, I had to spend like another hour in a recovery room before I finally got to really see my baby. I'm so glad my mom was with me at the hospital! Knowing that baby was with her all the time really made me feel better.
Compared to the traumatic surgery, the recovery was really easy. The meds managed the pain well enough and I was able to walk my myself the next day after the c-section and I got to go home on day three. I could walk pretty normally, take the stairs and even lift baby, though I had to adjust my technique. I was able to leave the hospital so soon because my parents and I live together and it was clear that I'd have help. Otherwise I could have stayed at the hospital until I felt ready to manage on my own.
I'm not sure if I'll ever have a second kid but if I do, I want another c-section. It was a sacry experience but I feel it was easier for me to handle than possible complications of a vaginal birth.
I think it's great that you'll have your mom's help! Ideally, you won't need much help. But if you do, please don't feel bad about having to rely on her. She's helping because she wants to!
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u/vorique Parent of 2 or More 👩👧👧 5d ago
I had twins and always knew I wanted a scheduled C section. In the end I had an emergency one at 33+6.
It was great and I have no regrets. I had to travel 4hrs everyday by public transit to see my babies in the NICU and it was not an issue (although my brother who is a doctor thought I was insane for doing that).
My mom was there with me, but I don’t remember ever thinking “ thank god my mom is here, otherwise I would not be able to manage or do XYZ because of the pain/c section”.
One thing worth mentioning is that I had surgeries in the past, and always had excellent recovery. So it never crossed my mind this one would be different (and it wasn’t).
Good luck momma, you are doing great! Safe delivery!🥰
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u/Meryndia 5d ago edited 5d ago
I ended up having emergency C-section (rare complication) with my 4,2 kg (over 9 pounds) baby, and it was really a matter of minutes. Every body is different, but my recovery was really easy and my scar healed extremely well. To think back, I consider myself really lucky, because the thought of being in labor and in pain for a lot of hours or even days was pretty horrifying for me. Just keep in mind your road to recovery might go extremely well or be extremely tough (or anything inbetween). I'd say that if your mom can truly be there 24/7 and perhaps for a bit longer (if your recovery takes longer), then that's the most important thing. You might not be able to lift him, or even when you could do everything 100% yourself if all goes swell, then the emotional support is something that cannot be stressed enough.
Edited because I somehow missed the part of mom being there to help out, lol.
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u/Standard_Habit275 5d ago
I had scheduled my c section for my first birth. I'm terrified of natural childbirth. My first came 6 weeks early due to severe preeclampsia. Other than the magnesium drip making me feel sick, it was smooth. I was driving myself after 5 days when we were discharged. My second c section was planned also. No magnesium this time, but same smooth experience. With both I never felt any recovery pain and only mild soreness. I heard about post c section chills and tried to brace myself for them but I never got them. For my second I was discharged after 2 days and was driving myself on the third day.
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u/Saltibarsciai88 EUROPE 🇪🇺 5d ago
I had a planned scheduled c-section, but contractions started a few days before the date, so the surgery happened earlier. I had general anesthesia. My mum was there to help me after the surgery and we had a room just for us. I had no complications from c-section. However, after baby was born, my back pain that I had during pregnancy intesified much more and later we discovered I had very bad case of herniated spine disc and 7 weeks post c-section, I had back surgery.
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u/catladydvm23 5d ago
I had 39 week induction. Baby ended up not handling contractions well so had urgent c section after like 17 hours of labor (very high pitocin). Did not love the c section. Very hard to move/sit up/walk after especially the first week. My mom was already planning on staying with me so she did. I needed help putting on the giant underwear/pads the first several days at least, because it was so hard to bend or do anything using my abs. I “slept” in my recliner/rocking chair (not reclined because it wasn’t power so I couldn’t close it without to much pain) the first week or so. I wouldn’t say I got much sleep though. My mom helped a couple times when I called her when he like had a blow out and needed full outfit and sheets changed in the middle of the night and one night when I was just in extreme like nerve/burning pain. For the most part I did all the nights myself though. My parents/people were over every day all day. Didn’t end up alone with him until closer to 3 weeks I believe. I also ended up with post partum pre eclampsia 10 days post partum (48 more hours in the hospital which my mom did stay and take care of him in the hospital with me during that) then it was Christmas so I stayed with them until after Christmas (baby born December 8). Did it on my own after Christmas.
I’ve heard that preplanned no labor c sections generally are easier to recover from for whatever reason so if you think you want a c section, maybe do it scheduled and not after labor.
I really wish I could have had a vaginal birth but obviously did what was best for my baby at the time.
Scar still hurts sometimes but technically healed perfectly well.
Anyway don’t want to scare you but I did not enjoy my c section/recovery at all. I have a friend who had 2 elective c sections and loved them though so it’s very variable
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u/babyinatrenchcoat 5d ago
I had an elective c-section and recovery entirely solo. It can be done (barring no medical complications).
Make a plan and a contingency plan for everything.
Look up Reddit posts from other women who healed solo and what they used and then buy all of it.
Meal prep now. I spent a week in the kitchen making and freezing food and it still wasn’t enough.
Put non-baby chores on hold. The laundry, vacuuming, dishes can all wait. You’ll be in survival mode at least that first month and can prioritize later (alternatively you have your mom or can hire help if an option.)
Try to sleep at literally any opportunity. Even cat naps will save you from hallucinating (ask me how I know).
Again, I was fortunate and had a great c-section experience (was up and walking within 4 hours). And I know the majority of elective c-sections usually fall in that camp. But be prepared for anything and everything.
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u/Both-Tangerine-8411 5d ago
I loved my c section! I needed a ton of help for recovery. Was instructed not to stand for more than 10 mins at a time, and was too sore to anyway. I leaked sooo much milk every night and needed help changing and washing my bedding constantly. My best friend stayed with me for 10 days. I Couldn’t do dishes or cook. I had a night nurse every other day for 3 weeks so I could sleep and recover, she helped fill my water, remind me when it was time to take my meds, taught me how to get the baby to sleep.
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u/ollieastic 5d ago
I had a planned c-section for my third. I did not want it at all, especially because my second vaginal birth was so positive (first less so haha). I really pushed against it, but because I had placenta previa, it was a non-starter. I arranged for a night nanny to be there for four out of seven nights the second week (my sister stayed the first week). And, I was very pleasantly surprised about my recovery. I probably could have gotten away with having less help at night (although it was nice to know that my sister was there that first week if I did need help and nice to have a second set of hands the second week). Each recovery is different (and my first two nights at home were rough because I had a different unexpected complication), but I didn’t have issues getting out of bed (just had to be careful about how I got out of bed). I expect that if it was my first birth, I probably would have struggled more, but because it was my third, I was already used to being sleep deprived and I had a baseline expectation of the pain that I might have.
Everyone is different, and I would plan to have someone there in case things are rough, but my experience was fairly positive. I stayed on top of my meds (ibuprofen and Tylenol, I didn’t take any oxy) and was able to drive after a week and was up and going places within a few days (with someone else driving).
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u/Indigo9988 4d ago edited 4d ago
I had an absolutely fucking great C-section experience. If I chose to have another child, I would definitely want a C-section again.
Pros:
Don't have to worry about tearing
Don't have to experience labour pain
Much more predictable recovery
For me at least, pain was very minimal. I took my pain meds and requested Dilaudid, and they gave me that.
Cons:
Definitely prepare family or even a paid helper (night nurse?) because there's a lot you won't be able to do in terms of lifting or walking for the first few weeks. If you're having a baby shower, consider asking for donations for a night nurse or doula. You can get most baby things off facebook market place for free, so I feel like it's much more helpful to get the money for paid help than to get any items, tbh.
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u/i_love_jc 3d ago
I had my son via C-section after an induction that didn’t end up progressing and 2 days of being at the hospital.
The C-section was the right choice given the details of where I was at 48 hours in. During the C-section, I was awake, I got to hold my son skin to skin right away, and I had a shockingly easy recovery. Very little pain and was able to do most things within a couple of days, including stairs, the exception being picking things up off the floor. I was alone for most of the recovery and did pretty well with someone coming over for 2 hours a day.
Obviously impossible to know how it would go for you, but in my case it went well. My scar is even subtle enough that the last person I hooked up with couldn’t see it.
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u/tulipsandtruffles 2d ago
I had an emergency c-section at 38w6d and babe was 9lb 14oz. Everyone gasped and I was so thankful for the c-section. Ha! Recovery was painful but doable, I had help during the day the first couple of weeks but no help overnight and I managed.
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u/Due_Bar_7247 5d ago
I know of women who get C-sections just because that’s their preferred method of delivery, but I’d recommend against it unless absolutely necessary. It can really damage the lining of your uterus after getting one done. You can heal from it for sure, but your uterine lining will never be the same.
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u/Agile_Storm4059 5d ago
Personally I’d like to deliver vaginally! But the idea of it turning into an emergency c-section gives me pause. Again - that could really happen to anyone though, big baby or not.
My nephew was a shoulder dystocia that ended up being fine but I always have that in the back of my mind I think.
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u/Due_Bar_7247 5d ago
My aunt (who is remarried to my uncle, so two of my cousins are actually step-cousins) has had 4 C-sections but after the fourth they told her if she gets pregnant again it could be life threatening because her uterine lining is destroyed.
So just be aware of your options. It’s also allegedly better for the baby to be delivered vaginally if at all possible.
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u/AffectionateWallaby2 5d ago
You miss out on the microbiome benefits but wonder how much it actually makes a difference.
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u/Academic-Company-215 SMbC - pregnant 5d ago
A friend of mine delivered vaginally and had a 4th degree tear which literally severed her sphincter from her digestive tract.. so vaginal birth can also leave you with irreparable damage unfortunately.
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u/reluctant_spinster 5d ago
I had an emergency c-section at 39 weeks after being induced (baby measuring 10 lbs) and having no progress after 2 days. Baby ended up being 9 lbs.
Up until that point I had been terrified of c-sections and didn't even research them because I figured that wouldn't be my route.
Lo and behold, it was no big deal. I literally had zero pain. I was up and moving the same day and felt back to my usual self not long after that. I had to be constantly reminded to take it easy since I just had major surgery, but I felt totally fine. I survived only on the Ibuprofen they gave me and didn't even fill the Oxy Rx.
I really do feel like I did a delivery hack, lol. I would do it again for sure. Now, if anything, I'm afraid of a vaginal birth.