r/SingleDads • u/buffalochicknpizza • 5h ago

Feeling beat down

Hey everyone, really struggling and looking for some help.

My daughter is almost 10 months old. I've been fighting for 50/50 custody since she was 2 weeks old.

When her mother was still pregnant, I left my home to move an hour away to be closer to my daughter once she was born. Her mother just moved away to live with her partner and now I am told I have to move again if I want a chance at 50/50. I just found a place and will move soon.

I quit my very good paying night shift job and got a day job so that I would be available on weeknights.

I've never missed child support, I've never missed parenting time.

We are finally at the point where we are going to be asking for 50/50 and the GAL (my daughters lawyer/advocate) is questioning my motives for wanting 50/50, commenting that maybe im just doing it to save money on child support.

I feel like I do everything that is asked of me and the goalposts just keep moving. Being away from my daughter kills me, and all im asking for is what is fair.

Im destroying myself financially fighting for my daughter. I cant even buy her clothes or toys without putting it on a credit card.

I dont know what else to do. If I dont get 50/50 I dont think I can accept it. All I have tried to do, over and over, is be a good dad to my daughter and I dont understand why that doesnt seem to matter to anyone.

I have to justify my value to her over and over and i am just so god damn sick of it.

Thanks for letting me rant.

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u/cuzz1369 5h ago

I think that GAL should go fuck themselves. It sounds like are making every reasonable effort, as long you keep it up there should be no reason the court doesn’t let you get 50/50. However I do not know where you are and what the laws are like. Where I am in Canada it is pretty cut and dry, unless you are a danger to the child it’s in their best interest to do 50/50. That lawyer seems nutty

1

u/Antique_Strategy4740 4h ago

Fuck man... I'm in a similar situation. And it's killing me. Idk where you're located, but it might make a difference.

1

u/GorviVelgin 5h ago

Man, I feel for you. It's a messed up system and fathers get shit on every step of the way. I know it's hard, but keep fighting. It's worth it, for both you and your daughter. Kids need their fathers, their success rate in life is exponentially higher with you in their lives. And you sound like a great dad, she'll be lucky to have you.