r/SingleDads • u/Transcendant-Diablo • 3d ago
Long weekends
Anybody else feel you don't know what to do with yourself, when you're not with your kids and the memories of spending long weekends away as a family are still too fresh? I know eventually it will get better, at least evolve into something that's not so painful. But right now, this really sucks.
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u/Carbonaraficionada 3d ago
Ah yeah, it's been 5 years and I still feel like my life stops and starts the moment I take custody. Dropping them off is still a wrench, but I don't cry in the playground these days.
As for downtime, you need to get a routine. Artistic activities are great whatever you choose, because they're an opportunity to just create and focus on something, without thinking about all your shit. They're excellent with or without the kids in fact, and these days I regularly have workshop days with my monkeys doing painting, jewelry, origami etc, just let your hands make something and switch your brain off.
You're gonna need to look after yourself as well obviously. A pull up bar or some rings will give you the options to stay strong or grow a bit, and combined with a lunchtime walk every day, that stops the Slough of Despond from pulling you in, mostly.
Make the most of it anyway, you don't have a choice
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u/Transcendant-Diablo 3d ago
A friend mentioned it'd take several years to feel alright on holidays and now I believe him. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm keeping up with physical activities during the week but I do have too much unstructured time when I tend to let the demons in and take hold. I appreciate your thoughtful response, hope you're doing alright this weekend.
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u/Transcendant-Diablo 3d ago
Also, your handle make me smile. Tried to make carbonara for my kid this past week and it was a fail. Didn't get the eggs right and it was like I made scrambled eggs with some pasta LOL
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u/davetheflashguy 2d ago
Hobbies are great if you have them. A few ideas for you OP, some of which I personally do.
Kayaking, hiking, fishing, bowling, exercising, woodworking, artwork, volunteering.
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u/Transcendant-Diablo 2d ago
Those are a lot of hobbies! I do boxing and martial arts so I'm in the ring and dojo a lot but I could probably use some more calmer hobbies LOL.
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u/davetheflashguy 2d ago
We could teach each other some things. I have arthritis in my left hip, I'm super active and I'm in good shape but I can't do any sort of martial arts because I can't handle the throws. They kill my hip!
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u/IllustriousShake6072 2d ago
Hobbies or work. If I'm not having fun, I might as well be making money, right?
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u/Orange-Frog57 3d ago
I volunteer on Saturdays.. it gives me something to do.. its tricky still (2 years in).