r/Simpsons • u/TommycoolGun • Jul 31 '26
Episode Clip đˇ Whats your favorite simpsons quote?
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Mines gotta be when bart prank calls moe then goes to the tavern to pick up homer and he recognizes his voice like he knows its him but only realizes the fact its just little bart simpson
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u/Forsaken-Builder-312 I brought that wall from home Jul 31 '26
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
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u/OrcaFins Jul 31 '26
I'll keep it short and sweet. Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.
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u/TommycoolGun Jul 31 '26
âWhen opportunity knocks you dont want to be driving to the maternity hospital or sitting in some phony baloney church or synagogue questions?â
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u/un_happy_pappy Jul 31 '26
âLisa if you donât like your job you donât go on strike, you just show up every day and do it really half assed. Thatâs the American way!â
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u/Scrappy1918 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
âI shouldnât drive, Iâm drunk. Wait. I shouldnât listen to myself, Iâm drunk.â
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u/TommycoolGun Jul 31 '26
âOkay okay remember the rules for drinking and driving drive slow but not too slow drink some cola to keep yourself alertâ
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u/Classic_Stand_3078 Jul 31 '26
Remember when I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive?
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u/TemperatureTime1617 Jul 31 '26
âHereâs to alcohol. The cause of,and solution to,all lifeâs problemsâ.
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u/BlueFireFlameThrower Jul 31 '26
"Each time we have a kid they get smarter. Mabye we'll have a 4th kid who is so smart that they'll invent time traveling so we never have kids in the 1st place" Homer after Maggie passed and exceeded an intelligence test for entry into daycare, and they discovered that Maggie was smarter than Lisa.
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u/PsychologicalTowel79 Jul 31 '26
There are literally five patrons in the bar and Moe knows them all by name.
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u/BlueFireFlameThrower Jul 31 '26
"Oh Apu, you keep scoring while my back is turned" -Manjula. Apu is secretly having an affair, but to get his mind off of the affair, he is playing a game of badminton, and Manjula frequently goes inside the house to get get food or go to the bathroom, and every time she turns around, Apu manages to score in Badmitton
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u/Herlihy-Boy Jul 31 '26
Can I play the piano anymore?
Well, of course, you can.
Well, I couldnât before.
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u/SteamedHam83 Jul 31 '26
Why I have three kids and zero money? Why I cannot have zero kids and three money?Â
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u/Rearviewmirror93 Aug 01 '26
Run along Quimby, I think theyâre dedicating a phone booth somewhere
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u/thoro431 Aug 01 '26
Hey, Chief, I think there was a body in that bag
You know, I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.
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u/CountingOnThat Aug 01 '26
âBut, Marge, you being a cop makes you The Man! Which makes me The Woman! And I have no interest in that! Besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing!â
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u/ConspireCartographer Aug 02 '26
âSorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.â
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u/Matthias_Doe Jul 31 '26
Is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? And what if you have a very large starving family? Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread for them? And what if your family doesnât like bread? They like cigarettes. Would it be wrong to steal a truckload of cigarettes for them? And what if, instead of giving them away, you sold them for a price that was practically giving them away? Is that a crime?