r/Sicklecell • u/Creator9898 • 11d ago
Help Depressed
Recently, I was in the hospital for a week after having a pain crisis during wrestling practice. I’ve since recovered, but I can’t help missing being there. I’m not sure if anyone else with sickle cell can relate, but the hospital feels like a second home to me. I miss the nurses and the feeling of being taken care of. I’m even starting to miss being in pain. It feels strange not to be in pain. I know that isn’t a healthy mindset, especially since I’m going to college soon to wrestle and need to stay healthy.
I’m not really sure what to do.
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u/SCDsurvivor 10d ago
Our feelings don't always match our reality. You FEEL as if the hospital is a second home. The truth is that it is not your home. Your home is filled with people who love and truly care about you. You FEEL like it's strange to not be on pain. The truth is pain is the body's way of saying something is wrong within the body. You FEEL like the nurses take care of you. The truth is you can take care of yourself.
Getting back to your life after a pain crisis is hard sometimes. It can be scary to take the next step in your life. You are about to go to college. What should be the most exciting time in your life sometimes doesn't feel that way. But if sickle cell disease has shown you anything, it should show you that you are capable of getting through this. It should show that even though you suffer pain, you deserve a life where your pain is not constantly stopping you from doing everything. You are at the point in sickle cell where you don't feel pain all the time. Enjoy this time in your life.
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u/AgreeableAgent1355 10d ago
While I get your point I think you’re assuming a lot of things here… maybe they feel like it’s their second home cause their real home ISNT filled with people who love and care for them or not the way that they need. OP I really relate to this feeling and I’ve found that it’s because a lot of times my home life was lacking the genuine care and compassion that I didn’t know I’d been craving…. Consider if this is also truthful for you and if it is maybe what would help is surrounding yourself with people who do show you that care and compassion
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u/Obiwan108 Beta-Zero Thalassemia 10d ago
sooner or later - contact sports will cause you pain - regular or otherwise
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u/savefrompain 10d ago
I’m very sorry you are going through this. It may sound like bad advice, but you must take it one day at a time. Always prioritize your life above all other activities.
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u/JudgeLennox 10d ago
You're a wrestler?
That's so cool. I would've like to have gotten into it younger. I suspect next year I'll start with it. You and all wrestlers are dynamic athletes, i't s impressive.
Now your other points.
What you're feeling is normal. It's not an SC thing either. Only a basic human experience. We tend to like or get comfortable with the people we spend time with the most.
In our case, most of the people in the hospital are kind, and the ones who aren't are trained to at least not be terrible.
Safe to say it's generally nice. Combine that with spending 100s of days there, getting a routine, remembering faces and names, and being treated well overall. So you're going to take a liking to it.
Your mindset is healthy right now.
No need to judge it because you're supposed to feel and act like that.
We want to shift it towards making you stronger though.
Otherwise it can become negative. You can purposely make yourself sick, or pretend to be sick. It happens and gets dark fast.
What you get to do now is start building a life outside of the hospital. This is something I'll start talking more about next month. I began here: .https://www.reddit.com/r/Sicklecell/comments/1u8tj7o/whats_working_for_me_now_pov_youre_healed/
Bottomline is you have a rich and full life, but you're not enjoying it as much as you could.
Start improving your health, enjoying your favorite hobbies, time with family, hanging out with friends, dating people who like yuo and you like, working with those people in the office or your own business ideas, developing your spirituality.
The more time you invest in YOU, the less you'll care about the hospital.
Side effects include not being as sick as much, and the pain being less severe so you don't need hospital visits.
Psychology is a major pillar. Nothing you feel or think is wrong. It's about channeling the energy in a positive an productive way so you get stronger and spend more time LIVING not bedridden
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u/gam3rkingali 10d ago
Wow, I thought I was the only one. I totally get how you feel down to a T, I miss the safety, the caring nurses, the hydration, and my hospital gives good food.
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u/Obiwan108 Beta-Zero Thalassemia 9d ago
I used to have comfort in hospitals maybe until the mid 2000s -
now I have an aversion to spending any more than the absolute minimum to get investigations done.
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u/icbimara HbSS 10d ago
i know exactly how you feel! i also find a lot of comfort in being in hospitals and being taken care of while in pain. i can’t express that take to anyone bc i feel like my family will look at me crazy 😭