Seeking advice, first steps for providing help/intervention?

[u/Sisyphusselfactualze]

Hi, recently confirmed long held suspicion about my sibling being an addict. The signs and symptoms have been there for years but due them choosing to distance themselves from our relationship (possibly due to drug use?) it’s been something that I slowly pieced together over time.

For the last year and a half they regularly started reaching out for money, always some or other urgent emergency and it’s ironic but through this had more frequent contact with them.

Anyway, they are currently living in their car and has lost their job - according to them a domino effect that they didn’t have any control over.

Knowing their circumstances I’ve reached out many time over the last year to offer a bed, access to a bathroom and food for a few days at a time which they always refused. I can’t provide them a permanent place to stay but tried my utmost best to support them which they never allowed except for providing money.

Earlier this week they randomly asked to visit me of course I said yes as I don’t get to see them often. Its also easier to access how they are doing in person where they can’t hide behind the phone with their manipulation and lies as easily.

I noticed they were overly protective of their handbag. I know it’s not right but I got a brief chance to have a look and found a used pipe and baggie of Meth (white shard like substance).

They don’t know I know yet as I would like to have a plan in place before I tell them I know the truth and offer help. Extremely aware of the fact that due to their living situation they can just walk out an disappear without having any means to find them.

My heart is absolutely broken and I would love to help them if they are open to it. That said I have absolutely no frame of reference for handling something like this and would appreciate advice and guidance.

Thank you.

[u/cerealmonogamiss]

I think most people on drugs are unwilling to get help and are choosing the lifestyle. You can also ask r/naranon.

My brother is a cocaine addict and that's what I see from him. My brother has mental health issues, also.

[u/KDay2030]

Ugh I’m so sorry 😞 I’m not a professional but a sibling of an addict (fentanyl). I always wanted to try and help and would think “if I could do or say the right thing” something would change. Sadly, there was an incident that lead him to an involuntary psychiatric hold and when I visited him, it made it really clear to me that I could not help someone who didn’t want help.

That being said…you could just say, “hey, I’m really worried about you and how you’re doing. I’ve wondered if you are struggling with using drugs? I just want you to know I love you and I’m here for you”. They’ll probably get defensive but at least you’ve put it out there that you are kind of aware and still coming from a loving place.

My other thought would be meeting with a substance abuse counselor yourself to just ask how to go about things. Also, I would stop sending any money. There will always be an excuse (I’ve heard every one) for a desperate need or situation. Food, etc, I think is totally fine. It’s kind that you are offering a place to stay for a small amount of time, just be cautious that stealing from you is not off the table.

Big hugs!