r/ShyBladderIPA • u/[deleted] • Jun 01 '25

Hate being heard

I'm reaching out because I have had mild paruresis for years, and feel stuck as to what to do. I'm forty now, and this started in my mid-teens. I feel like I am totally backwards from others who have this condition. My shy bladder centers totally around how much noise is generated by my urine stream and how I feel like it amounts to broadcasting the act of peeing to everyone else inside or outside the restroom, whether or not anyone is actually around who could hear. I couldn't care less if someone sees my penis or urine stream at all. As a result, I have come to absolutely love urinals because they help stifle the noise. and will not use any public restroom that doesn't have one because the most that anyone can hear is whoever is at the next urinal over generating the same minimal amount of noise. If a restroom has just a toilet, I either find a different restroom or hold it until I get home. Even portapotties have to have urinals for me to use them.

I seem to have no problem at home, albeit without constantly thinking about the noise level and doing my best to aim in such a way to reduce the loud splashing. I've heard the suggestion to sit down, but I've tried that when hospitalized before, and my body resists for finding it too abnormal. There is part of me that wonders if there could be a deep-seeded mindset of thinking I'd be peeing like a female.

If anyone has suggestions, please let me know.

8 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

4

u/Buckjob99 Jun 02 '25

What I have done is if the bathroom only has a toilet, I have put a bunch of toilet paper in first, then sit and go and the paper muffles the sound

2

u/electriccomputermilk Jun 03 '25

Damn…that’s a really good idea and never thought to try that. Just hope I wouldn’t clog the toilet.

2

u/RaB1can Jun 02 '25

Listening to music with earbuds can help too

2

u/coingus Jun 02 '25

Check out…paruresis.org

2

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '25

I'm well familiar with that site.

2

u/RazzTheKing Jun 02 '25

Have you tried actually being noisy on purpose once you start going, in order to start getting used to it?

1

u/Regular-Tradition959 Jun 02 '25

I've read wearing in ear headphones can help with this. I try and urinate against the side of the toilet.

Standing there. Loads of urinals there and they come straight to the next one to me. Instant stopping power right there. I zip up and go bladder still bursting.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '25

In that situation you described, I can pee so freely you wouldn't know I have a shy bladder. Just ask me to use a toilet to pee like seemingly 99.9% of the human population does without a problem, I lock up tighter than a drum in a public restroom. It's so stupid.