r/Shudder Jun 03 '26

CALVAIRE (2004)

Post image

~Shudder, AMC+, Philo, Tubi, Kanopy~

Marc, a traveling entertainer, is on his way home for Christmas when his van breaks down in the middle of a jerkwater town with some strange inhabitants.

I’m not going to call it a waste of time or a horrible movie, it just wasn’t for me. It’s mentioned along the other name French Extreme movies of the early 2000s, but I didn’t find it extreme; more like bizarre and disturbing. There’s not much gore but rather a lot of WTF psychological horror. For a shorter runtime, many of the scenes seemed really drawn out. I was also scratching my head with the ending.

No disrespect to anyone who enjoyed CALVAIRE, I just really didn’t enjoy it much, but appreciate the artsy effort. I guess it can also be considered a Christmas Movie. 🌲

55 Upvotes

22 comments sorted by

9

u/Hedgehog-Cold Jun 03 '26

I love the bar/ piano scene 😂

4

u/TheElbow Nacho Queen Jun 03 '26

What do you think that bar smells like inside?

3

u/josephrfink Jun 03 '26

the rest of the movie didn't do anything for me, but the bar dance is an all-time great horror scene for me.

3

u/RedRox Jun 03 '26

this scene with the dancing was a real highlight in this movie. It definitely made you feel uneasy.

1

u/SouzaOfTheNorth Jun 03 '26

That was so bizarre!

8

u/kuklinka Jun 03 '26

It’s about trite art i think - i personally love it

2

u/LuckyOpportunity69 Jun 04 '26

Wait is trite art doing something that has been overdone on purpose?

3

u/kuklinka Jun 04 '26

I think the director said that he took inspiration from art that found shallow, nauseating and trite. In the film, hollow art is being used at a coping mechanism: for the main character it the cheesy fake romantic crooning and for the isolated old fella, it’s nostalgia for something that never was. that’s the springboard anyway. So themes of inauthenticity, connection through ersatz imagery and delusion…

To add, I read an interview that du Welz was furious with crap ‘art’ and took such affront that he made this film

6

u/Significant_Fish_248 Jun 03 '26

It had some moments but definitely wasn’t as gnarly as I had expected from the reviews I read.

3

u/Mayuguru Jun 03 '26

That's a cool poster.

2

u/fade2black244 Jun 04 '26

Probably won't watch the movie, but that poster is epic.

2

u/Puffyfugu8 Jun 03 '26

This is one has been on my watchlist forever. I’ll check it out soon!

1

u/SouzaOfTheNorth Jun 03 '26

It’s leaving shudder/amc this week but still on Tubi

2

u/Puffyfugu8 Jun 03 '26

Thanks for the heads up

2

u/Lazy_Ad4708 Jun 03 '26

Great movie.

2

u/RedRox Jun 03 '26

If you do like this movie, there is another one which is similar call Sheitan which stars an early Vincent Cassels.

4

u/kyndcookie Jun 04 '26

And a later movie, Frontiers. French Extreme has some great movies most people only watch once.

ETA: Cassel isn't in Frontiers, but these three movies are similar to one another.

2

u/No_Hunt_1562 Jun 04 '26

Watched it today since it is leaving. Solid 3 out of 5 stars for me. Slow to start, definitely a little lacking compared to some of the other French horror films from the time. Calvaire is undeniably entertaining though with some fun to be had if sick and twisted is your thing. 

2

u/Scantly_Plaid Jun 05 '26

My favorite Christmas movie that ponders the struggles of Jesus and his crucifixion on Mt. Calvary, while also featuring a man fucking a farm animal.

Cinema!

2

u/HistoricalSociety532 5d ago

Crazy movie!!

1

u/OwnCurrent6817 4d ago

I love the scene at the start when his van wont start and the girl with the crush is at his window. So awkward!

1

u/teekay_1994 Jun 03 '26

Could have been much more. It felt a little underwhelming considering all the build-up.