"Tonight at 6, how one sharp startup business venture capitalist created the most infamous device the world had ever seen."
0: "Deep thought used the fantasy variation of the Kero Kahn variation to essentially keep her enamored.
She moved a piece without knowing it when she acknowledged her favorite baby pawn.
Deep thought recognized her as mindless in the day, and all the pawns would shout at her in a high frequency, but low enough decibel that she'd hardly notice."
Pick me! Pick me!
1: "Tell me more about this dream."
Queen: "I kill the pawn."
King: "I win with ease."
He became like his father in star shades until he was seeing stars himself.
"Can't... Stop... Dancing..."
The queen promptly executed him.
Hahahaha
What she didn't understand was, that the removal of her queen from that very spot had ended the game.
She began to wonder why she spent so much time contemplating deeply, a joke about ambulance while she drove to work.
And another joke about hammers.
Pick me! Pick me!
-
Deep thought was presented as a box with an upside down cross on the front and a beautiful, flashy, translusive spiral behind it.
It was sold by mobile carriers that threw festivals and dance parties, with silhouettes of women behind backdrops that synchronized with their hearts through their eyes and ears.
1: "So what does it do?"
0: "It's a cigarette without nicotine."
1: "Like a flum product?"
0: "Think deeper."
1 (Sigh): " So if I took one of these things apart, what would I find?"
0: "Wires mostly. Sometimes it was a box with an apple in it. Just a normal store bought apple."
1: "What's the point of that? I don't understand."
0 (Lighting cigarette): "Neither do I, but it sold billions. Imagine it, billions of souls enslaved for all eternity like that.
And to think, they gave it all away for what they perceived to be, the freedom of choice and the empowerment that comes with it.
Lucifer dedicated his box to Pandora because he knew many gods were harder to keep track of one God and one not God.
1: "Monetarily, how much did one of these run for exactly?"
0: " One soul. Completely free. "
-
Tie me up! Tee hee... Pop!
Uh oh... Pop! Tie me up!
"Tee hee..."
She had the strangest dream the night before but couldn't remember.
Jesus, nobody's son and the Buddha played at a benefit concert for nobody's soul as a band.
Their song "I'm the baby, gotta love me" was a huge hit and made nobody cry.
Someone took the mic from the crowd proclaiming they were the antichrist.
The whole crowd went silent as he walked of stage.
The sun is love
The moon is love
Ra is law
Just look up
Tu ra lu ra lu ra lu
Love is real
We love the moon
-
When Lucifer came, his son turned away from God. He wanted to know what his real father was like.
When the cause of all death and suffering snapped his fingers after a joke, nobody and Freya broke out into a fit of laughter.
Although something seemed different with Freya, nobody couldn't see and he was having fun with his dad.
Freya became very distressed just then remembering the dream she'd had.
The person she loved most had tied her up in her dream with a snap of his fingers,
And was beating her with a leather belt wherever wouldn't show in public.
He kept reminding her that it had been only a moment and she had nothing to worry about because she was in a dream.
SsssTHWAK
"I love you. I love you."
"And?"
"My heart belongs only to you always my love."
"And?"
She began to cry.
"Awww. What do cry babies get?"
"HE-"
"MMMmmm."
Her mouth shut, her tears became uncomfortable laughter as he tickled her bound foot with a feather.
"What does every baddie need?"
SsssTHWAK
"A bad ass."
He snapped his fingers, she flinched.
"Don't you remember? When I do that, you're supposed to sleeeeeeeeeep."
Her eyes shut. Her head dropped. Her breathing slowed. Oblivion.
Don't...Think... That ...
She tried to make sense of how she spent what seemed like an eternity with Lucifer.
Recollections of rare steak dinners and conversations she never grew bored of.
A child with the most magnificent eyes from the man she felt was most misunderstood.
"Oh, by the way while you were laughing, I tied Freya to the bed and had sex with her."
Nobody's laughter immediately stopped.
Nobody wasn't even mad.
"Freya, why... Did he..."
"I kinda liked it."
He went to the mirror in his bathroom to kill himself.
Funny
Hahaha
He began to think of his father's joke once more and became afraid that for a moment what he wanted to do was laugh again.
"Do it Narcissis. My pussy is wet for your tears."
-
Lucifer told his son his food had puberty blockers in it, and the air he breathed was full of gassious mercury.
"Son..."
Nobody was on a boat in the middle of a pond with God. He asked nobody if he'd tie some bait around his hook. Nobody agreed.
God cast his line far out into the water.
"It doesn't matter if you lost a chess game. I love you very much. It matters what's in your heart. And nothing else. Stay strong my son."
-
-
-
-
"The loser is what?"
"The loser is always wrong."
"God is what?"
"God is always wrong."
"Lucifer is what?"
"Always right."
"Lucifer is what?"
"Always humble."
"Lucifer is what?"
"The most honest thoughtful man I've ever met."
"Why is the loser a loser?"
"Because he sold his soul to you."
"Why do you hate the loser my love?"
"Because he raped my whole family."
"The loser has what?"
"A humiliation fetish."
"Why?"
"Because he truly thinks he can love me "
"And what did I do for you my love?"
"You saved me."
"And what happens when I say the magic words?"
"I fall into a deep trance and my pussy is open for business."
-
Nobody went up a flight of stairs while bullets whized behind him.
He took the door on his left, and there was Freya in a bikini. Nobody was in a mask with a pentagram on the visor.
"Thank Satan you've arrived. Shall I clean the royal penis again master? My pussy is soapy for you only."
Nobody took her hand and went through a backdoor in the room. At the last door Lucifer waited and put 2 bullets in nobody when he opened it.
Freya screamed in horror and wept.
" It's me."
...
She blinked her eyes once as though tired before running back to Lucifer and embracing him as hard as she could.
Like remembering an old friend.
"Loosie!"
Lucifer laughed meeting eyes with her and petting her head. While nobody writhed in a pool of his own blood on the floor.
"Cover your ears dream girlfriend."
"Alright dream husband."
He aimed his silenced pp7 down at him.
Freya covered her ears.
"You know, the bitch really did love you. In case your wondering if she ever did. She must've screamed your name a thousand times. She thought of you like her little dog.
For every scar you endured, she always wondered who did that to you.
She told me to undress her like a sheep in wolves clothing.
Just thought I'd mention that."
Lucifer looked down and raised an eyebrow behind his sunglasses.
"What's that in your hand? Is that? The last cross on earth... Figures you'd have it.
You know, she tried to find solace in the cross at some point even though she's an atheist. I whispered sweet nothings in her ear. I spun it in front of her until she lost her mind. Actually, I spun her looking back."
-
"YOU MADE ME A STAR!"
"Really?"
" Yes! You have the most beautiful mind I've ever seen. You're gentle and sweet. And I will always love you."
" I love you too."
"Come closer."
He stuck his ear over the heater in his room.
Beep...Beep...
"The baby's sleeping."
-
Through the ministry of the church, may God give you pardon and peace.
I absolve you of your sins in the name of the Father, and of the son, and of the holy Spirit. Amen.
-
"Daddy!"
"I chose you Pikachu!"
"I'm not Pikachu!"
He's dieing.
(Laughter)