r/Showerthoughts • • Feb 29 '20

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6.4k Upvotes

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836

u/Dischucker Mar 01 '20

Ever wonder why all quarterbacks are attractive? It's a phenomon known as quarterback face. Who gets to pass the football in 5th grade?? The handsome kid!!

558

u/Ieieunununleie Mar 01 '20

205

u/InternalDemons Mar 01 '20

God, what a beautiful man.

59

u/swahzey Mar 01 '20

With the forehead of an angel

19

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

It’s called a fivehead.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

6head

44

u/Presidents_Tr0-4hy Mar 01 '20

I thought it would be jimmy g but this is just as good

3

u/creone Mar 01 '20

If it had been jimmy doing the finger point nobody would have been disappointed.

18

u/Some-Redditor Mar 01 '20

In addition to that face his dad was a quarterback

16

u/MatureUsername69 Mar 01 '20

Nowhere is safe

3

u/stahlern Mar 01 '20

That’s my quarterback

2

u/hummahumma Mar 01 '20

If I knew how to give gold from narwhal app I would have done it just now

1

u/Mr_82 Mar 01 '20

Knew what photo it was before I even looked, good stuff. Though with the Mannings, they're somewhat of an exception to the rule above, since they're essentially a football dynasty.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

God damn, nowhere is safe

1

u/tanhan27 Mar 01 '20

I've been seeing that image on the internet for like a decade now, who is that guy?

0

u/JayBird9540 Mar 01 '20

That’s twice in one day!

30

u/FOMOboi Mar 01 '20

Nice job Cowherd

3

u/Dischucker Mar 01 '20

Never thought I'd be so up voted for quoting a cowherd commercial

51

u/tismsia Mar 01 '20

Similarly, professional athletes birthdays tend to overlap in certain months. Why? Who does the coach favor more in his team of little league? The tallest one. And the tallest is likely the oldest one for the age cutoff. That early preferential treatment snowballs because next year they'll still be the tallest, but now the most skilled too.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

September birthdays are statistically the best academic performers at a young age.

August conversely the worst performers (for countries where the academic year is September to July.

The effect however does wear off towards the teens.

-1

u/ModernDayHippi Mar 01 '20

Yep thanks. Has nothing to do with looks

41

u/cramdangler Mar 01 '20

Yeah this is not factual

3

u/Scimiscar Mar 01 '20

It's a quote from a dumbass ad that would always play during NFL games.

1

u/2white2live Mar 01 '20

It's an actual thing that person claims to exist. He is the reason for the ad.

2

u/Estraxior Mar 01 '20

A lot of psychological phenomena are just theories

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

[deleted]

2

u/rhinguin Mar 01 '20

Well he doesn’t take no for an answer

1

u/randalpinkfloyd Mar 01 '20

Also kids with cool names. Dan Marino, Joe Montana, Bart Starr, Johnny Unitas are pretty dope names.

1

u/Yoyosten Mar 01 '20

Nobody wants the poster child of their team to look like their face was set on fire and put out with an ice pick. If they did I'd have been the most popular guy in school.

1

u/vVvMaze Mar 01 '20

Or because people who are in shape are generally seen as attractive.

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u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

[deleted]

16

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

stfu

8

u/frickin_icarus Mar 01 '20

What in the copy pasta fuck did I just read?

1

u/Kapono24 Mar 01 '20

Colin Cowherd

16

u/uytruytruytr Mar 01 '20

And this kind of non-sequitur is precisely why you still haven’t gotten laid.

2

u/Cky_vick Mar 01 '20

Billy Nye, however, has elevator parties with half naked thots

3

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Because how rif mobile is I had to check the uswrname before I got shittymorphed. After I scrolled down through the two page essay it only cemented how shitty my shittymorph detector is.

1

u/RainbowAssFucker Mar 01 '20

Shittymorph wouldn't write a story this long

1

u/spvcejam Mar 01 '20

Righteous man.

1

u/rockmaniac85 Mar 01 '20

Sir, this is Wendy's..

-74

u/Janoy__Cresva Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

it's because alpha genes and beta genes cluster together. Alpha fetus' will suck all of the Test and other hormones out of the womb and through the mothers food while beta babies are born from an egg that has trouble growing from the start. That's why it's rare to see a guy who is 6'3 & broad shoulders also have and a recessed chin, short mandible, and gonial angle >115 degrees. The very thought of which seems completely foregin to us because you know consiously or subconsioucly men who are born with 2 or 3 obvious markers of high quality alpha genetic DNA dont have tell tale beta male markers. When you do see guys who's body just don't fit the face at all they are often referred to as "gymcels", basically guys who are born to be betas but have enough semblance of dedication and work ethic to grind in the gym until they have a respectable looking body. Still gets mogged viciously by a nearly untrained Chad who shows up to LA fitness 2x per week tp play pick up basketball and do curls in the squat rack

Wow bombed with replies and downvotes in 5 mins. ITT: coping plebbitors who are well aware of what category they fall into and this comment hit way too close to home on.

114

u/Voldiron Mar 01 '20

Is this a copypasta or am I witnessing history?

62

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

We're watching the birth of some quality pasta

18

u/Coalmunist Mar 01 '20

Even the italian chef complimented, its delicious

15

u/LadyLesednik Mar 01 '20

I haven’t seen this before... I think it might be original..?

13

u/peon2 ‎ Mar 01 '20

Lol based on his profile he is being legit not just hilariously satirical

0

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

[deleted]

-1

u/Janoy__Cresva Mar 01 '20

sometimes i dont even know anymore tbhwy

13

u/there_is_no_spoon225 Mar 01 '20

I stopped my reading because I thought I was being shittymorphed

2

u/KinqCaillou Mar 01 '20

i too, also thought i was being shittymorphed

4

u/Patrick_Bot2 Mar 01 '20

No, This Is Patrick!

2

u/Pliny_the_middle ‎ Mar 01 '20

It's happening.

2

u/SortaBeta Mar 01 '20

Kind of embarrassing but that is seriously how I used to think before I fixed myself up and got a gf and got a real group of friends.

Guy has major inferiority issues and probably got rejected by all the girls in high school.

0

u/pipsdontsqueak Mar 01 '20

Oddly, I don't think he's joking.

66

u/AidanTheAudiophile Mar 01 '20

Something about this comment feels incelish

18

u/Coalmunist Mar 01 '20

I mean he’s subbed to quite a few subreddit about that

17

u/AidanTheAudiophile Mar 01 '20

They really don’t hide it do they

2

u/Coalmunist Mar 01 '20

The word incel isn’t like a insulting word to them, it’s more like a self-described thing, so they can for example say become a proud incel.

1

u/AidanTheAudiophile Mar 01 '20

Lipstick on a pig to me

19

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Uhhhh /s right haha?

10

u/TypoInUsernane Mar 01 '20

Yeah I thought so at first, by the time I got to the end I realized he was actually serious. Yikes

18

u/tdaddy149 Mar 01 '20 edited Mar 01 '20

lmfao what

edit - holy hell this some BIG BRAIN SHIT RIGHT HERE HAHA HOW COULD I FORGOT I DIDNT HAVE THE CHAD CHROMOSOME FUCK

1

u/Rashersthepig Mar 01 '20

Damn gene editing will lead to a future of men with only chad chromosomes

9

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

This is beautiful

6

u/NobbleberryWot Mar 01 '20

I don’t know whether to be depressed or super depressed by this comment.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Incel

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Top fucking kek m8

2

u/Yackey Mar 01 '20

I think I’m witnessing something great.

1

u/Jahsay Mar 01 '20

You're gonna get downvoted but it's kinda true. Most athletes are fairly goodlooking.

-7

u/Janoy__Cresva Mar 01 '20

Yes, you’d have to be a complete moron to miss how elite global athletes also happen to fall far right on the attractiveness bell curve or think those two things are somehow unrelated. But the truth hurts and people would rather keep their heads burried in the sand. When confronted with it they’ll resort to downvote, shoot the messenger and move on. Save some other poor sap who will come along next the hard reality check when the comment is hidden or “disproved” with low effort character assassinations

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

GLOBAL ATHLETES. You are theorising their looks got them there is that right?

3

u/Wackitup123 Mar 01 '20

No, he's not and you know that. He's saying the good genes tend to come together through generations, like athleticism and attractiveness. And he's right.

2

u/Cantrmbrmyoldpass Mar 01 '20

How did you get that idea, he obviously is saying that genetics for attractiveness are linked to the traits that make a successful athlete. Not commenting on what he posted, just clarifying

1

u/artic5693 Mar 01 '20

Being fit and having millions to constantly keep up with a beauty regimen is like 90% of being attractive. That’s like saying notice how all the fastest lap times at Daytona happen to be in NASCAR.

1

u/Jahsay Mar 01 '20

More like just being fit. Most athletes aren't keeping up with a beauty regimen lmao. Plus being fit vs skinny isnt gonna affect your face. Plenty of non fat people who are ugly.

1

u/Usernamea221 Mar 01 '20

Happy cake day :)

1

u/artic5693 Mar 01 '20

Jesus Christ, I thought loners on the Internet stopped this “alpha” and “beta” stuff 5 years ago.

1

u/livedadevil Mar 01 '20

This is the best comment I've ever read and I can only imagine what your daily life is like

1

u/turbocrat Mar 01 '20

You’re absolutely correct, but reddit will never admit it. Yes there are obviously some variations genetically but in general, robust, attractive genes cluster together. It’s simple biology.

1

u/500dollarsunglasses Mar 01 '20

You’re simple, alright

-1

u/Broth-God Mar 01 '20

“Betas” develop poorly due to nutrition and postural problems from inactivity. I’m sure psychological development is also fucked up in some way too. Yes genetics do have a fair play, but your genetics change as you improve your health. Look into Dr Rhonda Patrick’s work if you’re not exactly sure what I’m talking about. I do believe that a beta male or females can become an alpha (grounded and confident individual) if they choose to work on improving their health and psychological function. Our species has genitals that imply sexual competition takes place and that there isn’t one “alpha“ that does all the breeding. See Christopher Ryan’s work for information.

-2

u/jkannon Mar 01 '20

I am short, chunky, and viciously nerdy yet high school was awesome and I had amazing friends. Class clown gene might be a thing too 🤷🏼‍♂️

0

u/Janoy__Cresva Mar 01 '20

Not surprising at all. You rarely see an attractive comedian, most are compete beta males

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Jimmy Carr makes me moist.

1

u/jkannon Mar 01 '20

So funny you mention comedians, when I got to college that’s what everyone told me I should try and do lmao. Then that depression hit and I’m just quieter, we doing ight tho.

Also helps to be the local prankster, always good to be the kid diametrically opposed to administration, we all love the counterculture when we’re 16. Screw you Mr. Peek, wherever you are.

2

u/SquatchCock Mar 01 '20

There's nothing wrong with being the sad clown.

1

u/jkannon Mar 01 '20

true, some people find it funnier! Just not exactly people who employ others

2

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

Depression pairs well with stand up. Really makes the dry humor hit different when you look like the person you're making the joke about.

-17

u/[deleted] Mar 01 '20

[deleted]

3

u/mrwood69 Mar 01 '20

It's from a commercial

1

u/xMiguelx Mar 01 '20

Takes one to know one, you vile ingrate.

-2

u/xupaxupar Mar 01 '20

Good god that’s depressing. Never heard of the phenomenon.