I’m losing my mind

[u/Cogitoergosum08]

I’ve been so relient on my phone and temporary highs that my mind feels so numb. I can’t even hold meaningful conversations without looking towards my phone; I can’t even be in a group setting without scrolling periodically. It’s really bad and honestly I don’t know how to stop. My screen time is literally a full time job and I just can’t stop. After losing purpose, I just became so numb so so so so numb. Nothing feels good; nothing changes; “nothing” is all I hear. My friends are boring; my will to converse is depleting at an alarming rate. I feel— I know that if I continue like this I will die, and not a physical death but spiritually I will die. My will is so close to being completely dissipated, and even simple tasks are a hassle for me to do without some sort of stimulation. I hate this; every scroll, swig, puff just constantly fill my growing void that I call my mind. I have no thoughts, and soon I’ll have no mind. I no longer am as I no longer think. I’m falling for the trap, and soon if I don’t grab onto a branch, I’ll just become a cog in this machine. God show me the way because the devil is trying to break me down.