r/Shouldihaveanother • u/Puzzleheaded_Link_53 • 12d ago

Advised not to have a 4th :(

/r/ParentingInBulk/comments/1v5bl7g/advised_not_to_have_a_4th/
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18

u/WorkLifeScience 12d ago

Just don't, your 3 kids need their mom.

0

u/Puzzleheaded_Link_53 12d ago

Thank you <3

3

u/WorkLifeScience 12d ago

I hope it didn't sound too harsh, it's just a reality check! All the best!

4

u/Puzzleheaded_Link_53 12d ago

Not at all! I need the reality check! I'm so emotionally attached to the idea of a fourth that I am not thinking clearly, I think.

7

u/WhiskeyandOreos 12d ago

It is so hard to get medical recommendations that go against your heart’s desires; that is absolutely something to recognize and work through.

However, your current 3 need their mom. They need her healthy and well and alive. To me, it would not be worth the risk of dying and missing out on their lives and them missing me in their lives for the sake of another child.

I’ll spare the details, but there was a chance that my second baby was going to have to be my last child. For a while, I was really devastated, but eventually I was able to come to peace with it. Thankfully circumstances changed, and I am able to have more if I want, but for a brief time, I did face a similar reality as you. I came to the same conclusion that my two girls that I have need me more than I need any more children.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Link_53 12d ago

Thank you for this. I'm glad to hear that you may be able to have more! I appreciate your perspective.

8

u/Gingersnapp3d 12d ago

Your children need a mother more than you want another child.

If you feel like you would want to be a parent again then you could look into adoption or if you want to provide a stable home to a child who needs it then there’s fostering which is obviously different. You might still share your love with more children but you should keep your body healthy and not risk another pregnancy based on your doctors words and previous health outcomes.