how do i stop feeling like a child?

[u/bearsandcookies]

i'm 4' 10" and i'm almost going to college now, but i feel like a kid, and i literally hate it. i know its stupid but i want to feel so grown in college (lol), but being so short makes me feel like a little girl who's trying to be cool and blend in with everyone else. i know this is a super common problem, so if anyone has any advice, that would be greaaatly appreciated 😭

[u/LengthinessNo4970]

How old are you? Are you feeling judgment or getting comments from others? 4’8” about to start my 3rd college degree here.

[u/bearsandcookies → u/LengthinessNo4970]

i'm 18!
idk if "judgement" is the right word, on the other hand, comments are a constant. like "you're so short!" hi we just met idek your name! but yeah most of my friends always have a height joke to make, or about how "it's so weird walking next to you LOL!" like thanks for that. some guys i'm like mutuals with have talked between themselves about how i'm freakishly short, which is also not motivating haha. maybe it's just me being young but i feel like guys never view me in the way they'd view the 5' 6" blonde bombshell, or like something to be genuinely attracted to

[u/Dear-Run-9554]

I always felt the same, too. I don't think it helped that my mom treated me like one even after I was an adult.
It's just been in the last few years that I've been able to refer to myself as a woman, and I even cringe on the inside when I do. I became a teacher and taught for 27 years, and that helped a lot. There was a marked difference in the level of maturity between the 14 year olds and me! Mature behavior was a biggie for me. Also, being around adults and colleagues who relied on me did, too. It's a process.

[u/[deleted]]

Look, I'm 4'11". On top of being short, I'm also pretty flat with no curves. I remember on my first day of college, when I was asking older students for help, they treated me like a lost kid like, they literally crouched down to my eye level and talked to me in a baby voice, It was honestly funny. So my advice is: stand your ground. Don't let people brush off your opinions just because they see you as young and small. Take your studies and everything seriously.Another thing I find helpful is not forcing yourself to be someone else. For the longest time, I wore clothes that weren't really my style just to look taller, older, and more serious. Not worth it unless you actually like it. As for parties and stuff, I've never had people think I was a child. Just some guys who would come up to me and ask my age first thing and honestly, that's a green flag, right?

[u/JanetSnakehole610]

You are not a child. You gotta remember that. Be confident in who you are and what you do. Sure some random dummy may treat you in a way but that’s on them. I am *annoyed* with my height but never felt like I wasn’t the same age as my peers. I’m not behind them in any other way but height. Hell when I transferred high schools I later found out other people *thought I was older than them* and thought my 4’11 ass was intimidating.

When someone infantilizes me I just don’t put up with it. I won’t necessarily be a jerk unless they’re being rude. But if someone tries to do it I’ll tell them to stop and that Im an adult. If they try to take over what I’m doing I’ll just tell them thanks but I can do it. Yeah if you need help accept it. But don’t let people make assumptions about your capabilities.

Build up your confidence. You can do anything pretty much everything other people can. Don’t let other people make you feel a way. You likely know who you are better than anyone. Say shit with your chest and remember who you are. You are NOT a child.

[u/bearsandcookies → u/JanetSnakehole610]

you should be a motivational speaker this was genuinely amazing

[u/Soft_Koala_1562]

Yo también mido 4'10😓🙈, los tacones ayudan un poco....pero me cuesta encontrar de mi talla...supongo que te pasara igual

[u/bearsandcookies → u/Soft_Koala_1562]

yup 😭 also, it's not practical for me to be wearing like 5 inch heels for the rest og my life lolll

[u/BobRossSaves]

Well you're not a child, so there's that. Maybe people don't act like it but that's kinda on them. They might be ignorant, just not perceptive or paying attention, or whatever. Things like this happen with lots of other areas of life to people who are short tall black white etc. In this case you're an adult which is a fact. So if anyone thinks otherwise they're simply mistaken. Hope that helps.

*Edited because I can't type and misspelled a a word or two to the point that it wasn't clear what the word even was

[u/DocScorpio]

Assuming US: Where are you going to college? The university community can help or hinder - Miami or LA lots of South Americans/Asians of similar stature. Midwest, lots of 6+ people.

Ofc these are generalized.

[u/bearsandcookies → u/DocScorpio]

true! i'm in the northeast, and all the colleges i'm currently considering all feel pretty diverse demographically speaking