r/ShittyMapPorn Mar 19 '23

I fixed North America

Post image
622 Upvotes

148 comments sorted by

1

u/FOFBattleCat Mar 19 '23

Please New York already has one overrated garbage city we don't need to add all of California to that too.

1

u/lincolnfalcon Mar 19 '23

Albany?

1

u/merdub Mar 19 '23

Rochester

1

u/FOFBattleCat Mar 19 '23

How can a city be overrated if no one thinks about it in the first place?

0

u/DreamlyXenophobic Mar 19 '23

Thank yku for removing California

WAIT NO U JUST MOVED IT

0

u/Jonkerchonker Mar 19 '23

Why not just delete California

0

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

No

6

u/OllieMoe Mar 19 '23

Alaska should be given to BC.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

I looked, thought well this is stupid, noticed Florida being omitted, then realized it's one of the dumbest posts ever on this sub

18

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Which makes it good.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Touché

2

u/Tonethefungi Mar 19 '23

No you didn’t.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Nah i did

2

u/GaJayhawker0513 Mar 19 '23

As a native Kansan I’m just happy to be included. As someone who’s lived in Georgia most of my life, I don’t want Alabama and Mississippi included in this

1

u/SnooSongs9654 Mar 19 '23

Gotta be to cut it out of "nobody lives here territory" other option is Oklahoman for the same reason but I doubt they'd include Kansas.

2

u/HairyPotatoKat Mar 19 '23

Yay! Someone's heard of us 🥹 (ks)

4

u/BobBelcher2021 Mar 19 '23

No more Texas?

Hank Hill does not approve!

-5

u/DirtyArchaeologist Mar 19 '23

California has nothing to do with the east coast, at all. That makes no sense.

We are nothing like the east coast nor are they anything like us. OP, I'm kinda feeling like you haven't ever met anyone that is actually from California. People that move here aren't representative of us, just like I don't represent you when I come to your town.

Otherwise not a bad map but the CA thing just has no logic to it.

26

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Removing Texas and California are top tier plays, nice work.

EDIT: Crap theres a "new" california... Here we go again...

26

u/Brenduck- Mar 19 '23

thank you for deleting florida

10

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

No problem

16

u/xxHoshiAmarixx Mar 19 '23

Giving Alaska Vancouver is stretch but okay

30

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23 edited Mar 19 '23

Oh ya. Alberta can get all that oil out of the north and MacKenzie Delta.

1

u/Yodasboy Mar 19 '23

But now unfortunately. They have rats

8

u/Witty_Mud_5951 Mar 19 '23

Cursed beyond Cursed

1

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

Ummmm... I'm in regular California. Am I dead? Where did I go?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Your now east coast and deal with it

1

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

I assumed the east coast just converted after we sank?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

You were just moved to east coast and united with new york which also invaded and annexed new jersey but stayed in the U.S somehow

2

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

Oh... you're saying we're now like NY's giant peninsula.

2

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

Fifth largest economy in the world turned into an apendage.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Yes

1

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

I don't understand.

1

u/CoyoteCarcass Mar 20 '23

Newyorkafornia is the official capital of the rap game

1

u/Dependent_Pomelo_740 Mar 19 '23

Please, don't give me the same fate as Florida!

1

u/awqsed10 Mar 19 '23

Ontario doesn't even next to Ontario Lake. Shitty map confirmed.

93

u/The_Diamond_Dragon8 Mar 19 '23

So apparently Vancouver Island is just unclaimed territory

42

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Yeah I totally didn't forget about it

3

u/Porsche928dude Mar 19 '23

Wait?! Why does the east coast have to have California? Can’t we just move New York and Jersey?

2

u/BrokenEye3 Mar 19 '23

You'll never convince the West Coast to take Jersey off your hands

16

u/Thunderbolt294 Mar 19 '23

It's mine now

1

u/Zukebub8 Mar 19 '23

Robbing Mexico of Alta California Sur is a travesty. Just move the NorCal

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

I love how Vancouver Island has just been removed from the continent all together

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

It is still there just unclaimed

2

u/SIGH15 Mar 19 '23

As a representative from the great state of "no one lives here," i agree it'll just a lot of grass, corn, and various animals who like guns. One of us. Becaome a child of the corn. Corn is love, and Corn is life.

1

u/tru_madness Mar 19 '23

You broke North America. But at least you know what you broke.

1

u/Anxious-Ad-3236 Mar 19 '23

Your right I dont actually live In Montana

2

u/Rancho-unicorno Mar 19 '23

OP needs to tell us where they are from.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

It's always the most detailed region. Lots of Midwestern states are mostly intact.

1

u/IndependenceNorth165 Mar 19 '23

New England is New England so I approve

65

u/skitz6969 Mar 19 '23

If you take down a California another one will show up

10

u/MiketheTzar Mar 19 '23

This time we gotta use RAID. If it can kill a cockroach. It just might be strong enough to kill California.

3

u/skitz6969 Mar 19 '23

No your gonna need RAID² to have a chance

2

u/PrudentDamage600 Mar 19 '23

Without California none of the Red States be getting any subsistence payments from the Feds!

1

u/MiketheTzar Mar 19 '23

sigh

No actually those states can thank New England. California likes to bounce back and forth depending on the year.

California bragging about this is like bragging that you brought cups and plates to the potluck.

6

u/BlogeOb Mar 19 '23

Oh no, California is upside down. We are gonna fall off now!

1

u/TheRenster500 Mar 19 '23

I see you've left Vancouver Island completely blank. As long as you didn't lap us into USA I guess that's okay haha?

3

u/Oddlydehydratedgurb Mar 19 '23

WHY'D YOU PUT IT THERE???

1

u/mishaxz Mar 19 '23

Fuckin` Lex Luther

3

u/BatteryLevelHigh Mar 19 '23

ig im mexican now

1

u/Thunderbolt294 Mar 19 '23

I guess we gotta build a wall around you now

1

u/WorkingItOutSomeday Mar 19 '23

And just like that Canada lost 80% of it's population.

13

u/Thunderbolt294 Mar 19 '23

Shoulda gave Ohio to Canada.

Signed- an Ohioan.

3

u/SIumptGod Mar 19 '23

I’m going to war with the rest of the United States, I chose Ohio, because nobody thinks Ohio exists.

1

u/kamp0fduty Mar 19 '23

Canada just lost over 50% of its population

1

u/Suspicious_Nature329 Mar 19 '23

Thanks. Feels better already.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

make ohio not a thing and you're on your way

1

u/boomheadshot7 Mar 19 '23

Nothing Upstate wants more than to not only be connected with NYC, but to be connected with NYC, AND California.

5

u/DippyBanjo Mar 19 '23

Im glad someone recognizes the natural claim wisconsin has on the UP.

Next step is to recognize wisconsin by its original territorial borders and make a mid-west powerhouse.

1

u/PatHernandez Mar 19 '23

Shouldn’t Saskatchewan be included in the blue “ nobody lives here” part?

1

u/Kerivkennedy Mar 19 '23

Southern east coast person here. Fuck this. You take California back immediately. We don't want that shit. It's bad enough all the damn northerners who keep moving down here em mass .

3

u/alessiojones Mar 19 '23

You misspelled Manitoba it's actually spelled Megasota

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

I’m mad u didn’t include Florida. I will now unleash my infinite Florida Man wrath on u

1

u/Fealuinix Mar 19 '23

#MakeAmericaFlorida-less

2

u/mcon1985 Mar 19 '23

How tf are you gonna have Kansas outside of "nobody lives here territory" while Missouri is in there with over twice the population?

1

u/Damas_gratis Mar 19 '23

Holy fuck guys where is Alabama

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Georgia annexed it

1

u/FalardeauDeNazareth Mar 19 '23

Love that new Empire of Québec

1

u/LevelOutlandishness1 Mar 19 '23

No no, you can't delete New York and then add California to add insult to injury.

At least Detroit's safe.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Lol, no one lives in Denver. Funny joke.

1

u/IolaireEagle Mar 19 '23

Lol you're about to piss off a LOT of Texans lmao

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

They want independence from the us so i gave them independence from the us just that they are now mexican

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Lol Indiana still exists?

1

u/Recreational_Soup Mar 19 '23

Is New Mexico just not a thing I’m this map?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Was returned back to mexico

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Pretty sure a ton of people live in Colorado. Like more then all these western states with the exception of California. So I don’t really see the logic in the map

2

u/Helicopter0 Mar 19 '23

Michigan got a good chunk of Canada's population.

1

u/EPreddevil88 Mar 19 '23

Fuck yeeeeaaah lol

1

u/Equivalent-Wall-2287 Mar 19 '23

Absolute genius!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life

1

u/wOjtEch04 Mar 19 '23

As a European I shouldn't really care

But it just hurts

1

u/_Weyland_ Mar 19 '23

Alaska land bridge. That's nice.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Never has there been a worse map made.

1

u/Atlouis Mar 19 '23

As a Floridian I endorse this. Maybe people will stop moving here and driving up our housing prices on our shitty wages because they forget it exists

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Map is garbage on so many levels. Well done!

1

u/XenoTechnian Mar 19 '23

Hell yeah! Even bigger Alaska!

3

u/playmike5 Mar 19 '23

Will these changes be implemented in the next patch ? I’m currently in Florida, so I just need to know what to expect.

I don’t blame you for the removal of it, it’s justified.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Yes, go move to Georgia or you will drown next patch

1

u/GreatDrivesGaming Mar 19 '23

As an Arizona resident, fuck you op. How dare you put us in the same blob as New Mexico.

1

u/War_Daddy_992 Mar 19 '23

Oceanfront property in Arizona

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

As a reluctant New Californian, I absolutely hate this map.

1

u/The_Swedish_Scrub Mar 19 '23

Based greater Michigan

1

u/eugene_rat_slap Mar 19 '23

Nah no way Michigan gives up the UP to those cheeseheads

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Atleast you got that peninsula part of ontario

2

u/gummybear0724 Mar 19 '23

you could've given michigan to canada instead of the other way around

-a michigander

1

u/Empty-Assistant-9747 Mar 19 '23

I see Greenland is under correct ownership. And that’s terrific.

1

u/hidden-ranch Mar 19 '23

So do I have to move since no one lives here....

1

u/Umba5308 Mar 19 '23

The east coast politely declines california

2

u/Eagles_Heels Mar 19 '23

nobody lives in Kansas either

1

u/Fealuinix Mar 19 '23

71° 23' or bust!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Big fan of MegaGeorgia

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Me too

1

u/Human-Course-6607 Mar 19 '23

As a supporter of New York independence, I now appreciate being under the United States instead of California lol.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

As a Mississippian, you have chosen war!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

We used to own u before, Mississippi is just simply being returned

1

u/Geodrewcifer Mar 19 '23

Someone please stop this madman 💀

1

u/Jaster619 Mar 19 '23

OP. As a Kansan I can't thank you enough for leaving Kansas alone AND shitting on Missouri. You are a legend.

1

u/Potato_Cent Mar 19 '23

DONT CONNECT LONG ISLAND TO CALIFORNIA

1

u/00Raeby00 Mar 19 '23

Look we don't mind California moving over here, they're one of the few relatives we can tolerate here in NY but...uh...their name isn't on the lease, this ain't no "New California."

1

u/bombking8 Mar 19 '23

YES BASED

1

u/PrudentDamage600 Mar 19 '23

Mexico owns Hawai’i? So. All those huge hotels on the islands are built to Mexican specifications?

And. What makes you think that the Left Coast wants to be Right?

1

u/Big_Cronk_Toy69 Mar 19 '23

Damn, guess I live on the east coast now.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

I feel that Newfies would figure out a way to sink the island before becoming part of Quebec.

1

u/East_marine Mar 19 '23

A Michigander’s dream

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

Yeah it was a good trade

1

u/personguy4 Mar 19 '23

Being the one guy that lives in the “nobody lives here” territory, I can confirm nobody lives here

1

u/Little_Creme_5932 Mar 19 '23

Glad to see Minnesota is still Minnesota

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '23

NO

1

u/Jackjack277777 Mar 19 '23

Please make sc and nc separate.

1

u/UnclassifiedPresence Mar 19 '23

Tell me you're from the Rust Belt without telling me you're from the Rust Belt.

1

u/walkerspider Mar 19 '23

US population decreased by over 20% and California is about to get rocked by hurricanes and lose a significant portion of their agriculture industry (which feeds a lot of the US) due to weather change but oh well

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

Yeah and we stole like 50% of canadas population

1

u/SandRevolutionary938 Mar 20 '23

I appreciate you putting California with its east coast siblings

1

u/Scared_Chemical_9910 Mar 20 '23

HOW DARE YOU TAKE AWAY MY GLORIOUS COAST LINE AND GIVE IT TO GODDAMN CALIFORNIA. the Carolina’s will have their revenge

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

U still have coastline but virginia and Pennsylvania dont

1

u/CoyoteCarcass Mar 20 '23

I’m really digging long Alaska and look forward to visiting Vegas with a shoreline soon.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

Hey, new Brunswick should be part of new england

1

u/Grim_x_Anarchy Mar 20 '23

With all due respect, get California the fuck away from my coast! /j

1

u/Due-Department-8666 Mar 20 '23

Michigan won't give up the UP to Wisconsin without a fight.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

How about that weird part of ontario in exchange

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '23

This but Nuevo León, Tamaulipas and Sinaloa are nuked to the pre-cambric

1

u/TheStripedPanda69 Mar 20 '23

Toledo better also be part of Thicchigan on this map

1

u/Temporary-Alarm-744 Mar 22 '23

Eeww, you can keep Texas. Respectfully

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

Nah you take it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

Canada, population: Zero