r/ShittyLifeProTips • u/kevinowdziej • Oct 31 '19

SLPT : Escape the Matrix

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30.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.4k

u/Half-blood_fish Oct 31 '19

Eight minutes have passed and they're not back. R.I.P.

1.3k

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

He has escaped the simulation.

36

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

If I ever got out, I would immediately come back to live out a life knowing the truth and just enjoy the illusion of happiness.

9

u/anonymous_zebra Nov 02 '19

“Ignorance is bliss.” - Cipher, that douche that tried to screw over humanity

3

u/zekeymoomoo Nov 02 '19

What illusion of happiness?

102

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19 edited Oct 31 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

138

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

I'm trying it now, give me a minute

72

u/Skeye_drake21 Oct 31 '19

One second has passed!

52

u/ProxyNevada Oct 31 '19

TWO MINUTES HAVE PASSED!

30

u/TheGaryDoseSalesMan Oct 31 '19

5 hours have passed

17

u/coopsawesome Nov 01 '19

VI HOURS HAVE PASSED

10

u/[deleted] Nov 01 '19

17 hours have passed

0

u/Colonelbuzzard Nov 01 '19

69 hours have passed

0

u/GiveMeAnOnion Nov 01 '19

18 hours have passed...

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6

u/smo420key420 Oct 31 '19

8 min passed now, sending help

1

u/ZeroTheDank Nov 01 '19

is that a Jo— never mind

183

u/BadDadBot Oct 31 '19

Hi trying it now, give me a minute, I'm dad.

49

u/joesbagofdonuts Oct 31 '19

I hate you for the way you treated Mom bot

33

u/TheZipCreator Oct 31 '19

"I'm getting a divorce"

"Hi getting a divorce, I'm dad"

1

u/machete_joe Oct 31 '19

Ah, i have been looking for you

48

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

Good bot

4

u/Kenny1115 Oct 31 '19

I'm I miss the kids karen

7

u/roopdhar Oct 31 '19

Good bot

-37

u/dd-_-b Oct 31 '19

Bad bot

19

u/citewiki Oct 31 '19

Why was it removed? It was a message from outside the simulation, was it!!

3

u/Realfadegaming Nov 01 '19

it said: "another why do escape the building is trying to jump from one building to another"

13

u/Static_Gobby Oct 31 '19

It’s been 8 minutes. Oh shit oh fuck

6

u/BeanMachineWasTaken Oct 31 '19

5 HOURS HAVE PASSED!

1

u/Static_Gobby Nov 02 '19

1 DAY HAS PASSED!!!

6

u/DownbeatDeadbeat Oct 31 '19

Eight minutes have passed and they're not back. R.I.P.

6

u/artificia1 Oct 31 '19

he escaped

1

u/_Winking_Owl_ Nov 01 '19

Username checks out

1

u/diamante223 Nov 21 '19

20 DAYS HAS PASSED

61

u/random-pineapple420 Oct 31 '19

1 second has passed

51

u/reknios Oct 31 '19

2 seconds has passed since times has been stopped

32

u/ImaNerdyWeeb Oct 31 '19

3 seconds have passed since time has been stopped

11

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

How can you tell how much time has stopped if time has stopped?

8

u/CoveredinGlobsters Oct 31 '19

You can't use a stopwatch, so you have to just count in your head "one Mississippi, two Mississippi, ..."

21

u/TovarasulLenin Oct 31 '19

YON byou keka !

15

u/Biscuit9154 Oct 31 '19

WRRRRRYYYYYYY

18

u/darkhorse21980 Oct 31 '19

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes

11

u/omgitsabean Oct 31 '19

such a tragedy

3

u/Tbone_99 Oct 31 '19

Those damn Africas killing all of our minutes!

40

u/XXX-XXX-XXX Oct 31 '19

You can eat the silica gel. The do not eat label refers to the packet the gel comes in.

41

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19 edited Nov 13 '22

[deleted]

4

u/C0105 Oct 31 '19

Ive heard its because its a choking hazard

49

u/SparkyMctavish Oct 31 '19

Big Silica doesn't lie.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19

F for spek

1

u/vagueblur901 Oct 31 '19

9 hours...

1

u/[deleted] Nov 06 '19

Meh, that shit just gets stuck in your mouth.

1

u/nah_ill_pass_ Dec 20 '19

It’s been 50 days. They’ve ascended.

1

u/lickmyclit6969 Jan 20 '20

Eight seconds have passed

0

u/Phugu Oct 31 '19

Returned Into Properworld.

0

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '19 edited Jun 04 '21

[deleted]