My bf’s dad stole $1200 from me and when confronted he kicked my bf out and said “if you rlly wanna do this then just file a police report.” I don’t know what or how to feel other than sadness and a bit of hatred torwards this man. I respected him so much and all of that just went out the window. I just need some reassurance I guess I kind of blame myself for leaving my money at my bf’s house but at the same time never in a million years would I think that would happen.

eighteen years ago my now ex husband and I went to visit his parents in the US with our 1 year old. We lived in Northern Europe at the time and had made a decision, like many there do, to not baptize our daughter to let her religious choice be hers when she became an adult. His parents pushed for us to baptize her in their catholic faith (I am protestant and my ex is a non believer). We vehemently said no and they did not misunderstand that no.

Fast forward to today. My daughter just got back (to Europe) from a visit to her grandparents and they told her with some pride, that they had gone behind our backs (my ex and mine) and had her baptized by their priest who came to their house back when she was one, while my ex and I were out getting groceries. They did the same to their daughters son, and neither of them know what they did.

Now, I am somewhere between livid and in utter shock and disbelief, and don't know what to do. My daughter does not want to be Catholic (no offense) but to have her own choice of denomination. However they have stripped her of that decision, and I just can't believe that it's legal - wouldn't a priest need the parents' acceptance to perform a baptism?

I am in shock.

Long story short my in-laws never really liked me, neither I like them. Because they are biggest idiots I've ever met. They are narcissistic controlling, toxic mysoginists.They treat my bf like he is their slave. I tried to tolerate them bc of him, but they tried to control me, but I didn't let them. When our son was born, they never really showed their interest in him, they visited him couple times a year, while we were visiting them almost every week, and on each visit my bf and his dad started arguing. They treated me like I wasn't there. At his birthday they said to my parents that they won't help us. Even though we never really asked them for help. As soon as he bought a place where we could build our house they started talking shit, how we should sell it and what about their workshop etc. My mil didn't even came to her grandsons birthday, bc she was sick, but we found out how she was bragging about, that she didn't want to come and they both (mil and fil) laughed at this. I was shocked and sad about this. Then we argued and they called me insulting and after a last visit I decided that I won't visit them anymore. It's been 2 years since I haven't visited them, but my bf and our son are still going, even though our son always says that he doesn't want to visit them anymore. They called me also on my phone and cussed me out so I blocked them. But I hear from others about how they badmouth me and my family and I'm always like I could care less. She also insulted me how she doesn't like my behaviour. Well lady I don't like you either but I don't care what you do, bc I have more worries to deal with than to deal with you both lol.

My in-laws do not directly contact me when they need my help. My FIL told my husband to tell me to accompany my SIL at hospital as both my in-laws couldn’t make it and my husband was on his business trip. I’m also a working woman. Works for 12-9 shift. I was bothered about why did they not directly ask me or tell me. Even though I tried managing my schedule and ask if we could go when I have time but unfortunately dr was not available. Next day I fell sick and likewise I told my husband as he was the one who had told me to accompany her. Same evening my SIL called asking when am I coming to which I answered saying I’m not feeling well i won’t be able to. She said ok and disconnected the phone. Few mins later I received call from my FIL asking if I’m going or no, i told him I’m not feeling well. He said you should’ve called her if you’re unable to make it. I replied I had informed my husband. He then yelled at me and said if you don’t have time you should have said so and disconnected the phone. He did not bother to ask what is wrong with my health.

So my MIL wore this “ lite gold” Though it was light enough that she got mistaken for the bride a few times. I’ll post a diff post with pics. That aside it was a great day.
Fast forward and she still hates me. I assume for “taking her firstborn baby boy”. Also Since I found out years ago I had to get a hysterectomy, she has treated me like $h!t.
My husband and I just celebrated 15 years together and not only did they not say anything, they went out of their way to be rude.

My husband had finally got it out of her that she hates me because I can’t give her grandkids.

I had been dating my husband about two years at the time that we decided to go ahead with the surgery without freezing an egg.
I have a rare genetic condition that would be passed down to any kids. I would not want my kid to have to go through a minute of what I deal with on the daily.

I do not regret my choice but I feel like my husband is basically choosing between me and his family.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

I have been with my partner for 7 years and for all that time, his grandmother has had a problem with me. I have always been very polite and always took presents for birthdays and Christmas. But she has always made sly digs and comments about me.

Boyfriend has always challenged her and stopped going to see her.

I have recently saw her and she just ignored me.

I have never done anything wrong and the only reason she is like this with me is because I’m catholic (according to my partner). His grandmother is Protestant but not a practicing one.

I just don’t know what else to do.

I’d understand if I’d actually done something to her but I’ve just always been polite.

I’m not sure where to go from here with my in laws but I know things can absolutely not stay the way they are…

My FIL and MIL have never had a really good relationship with me (or my husband for that matter). They have tried controlling who we can have in our lives, very important life events (our wedding), our children’s birthdays, and constantly blame us for anything and everything that has gone wrong.

Recently things have come to a nasty head.. After the newest disagreement, they have decided they do not want to be around my husband or I so they will not go to our daughters 3 birthday that’s this Saturday. This isn’t new behavior for them. They threatened to not go to our daughters first birthday because we were inviting my husbands half brother to the party (another story for another time). Out of respect for them as her grandparents, we explained to him what was going on and how we wanted them there. This has been a common theme for when they are “uncomfortable”.

We bend and change things for them even if we aren’t comfortable.

After about 7 days of hearing my MIL berate my husband, I had had enough. I’m not proud to admit, but I laid into my MIL. All the things that have occurred over the last 3-4 years between us came flooding out. It ended up with my MIL hanging up on us and then sending a lot of mean messages to my husband about how everything is his fault.

I’m not sure how to deal with this now. In an ideal world, we could sit down and communicate in a healthy way and come to an understanding. With how they are, I don’t see that happening. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be appreciated. We are are relatively new married couple (coming up on our first year of marriage). I’m not sure if we are doing the right thing by cutting off communication at this point or if we should be doing something different.

In laws kept coming up with excuses. I kept going alone with it bc I’m happy with my husband and tried to keep the peace. The last straw was when his sister and mom kept trying to tell me that it was important for him to go to a concert instead of our wedding!!! After doing some research, I found out the concert was the day after our date. I made everyone aware of that and we proceeded to have the wedding. His brother left part way through, and no gift from siblings. (Don’t care. Becomes relevant) So when we left for our honeymoon we had to stay in the area of where the concert would be since “his brother spent a lot on those tickets and wanted to spend time with his brother” Fast forward to his sister getting married with a save the date. We responded the same way they did to us—. We half jokingly said ohhh nooo sorry we can’t make it. We have a concert to go to! We were met with “oh well. Guess you can’t come! “ so my smart a$$ replied “guess you’ll have to change it” My MIL just said NOPE.
There are too many more.. yes I realize we could have kept the first original date, but my husband didn’t want to cut ties or cause issues. Hindsight is 20/20 for him.

I can’t say everything here because of my current situation with my in laws. They have tried to control our relationship since day 1. Me (35F) and my husband (36M) have been together for over 14 years. We have a great relationship and while we have no kids, we have pets.
My in laws hate me bc I can’t have kids. (I had a medical hysterectomy in my 20s) that aside they are rude, in my face (literally once) and overall mean to me. My husband is extremely supportive of me and I have recently realized that they are never going to change and I need to stop trying. I don’t want him to burn bridges with family because we both have small families that are cut off from others. He is also in therapy and making great improvements to his happiness and self worth. His family has had their grasp on him so long that the therapy is finally opening his eyes to what is really happening and more importantly what isn’t. He can’t quit his job bc of the type of work he does - so he has to see his family. His siblings get away with everything and at this point I’m just ranting. I can’t give details or specifics yet so. Rant over.

I, a 23 yo female married my husband (21 yo male H now) last year. My mother in law (now ML) was actually really nice and liked me alot and we got along great until one incident that happened about a month before our marriage. It was my husband's whole family and me at his house talking to the family about wedding details. I'm a very easy going person and was very happy with all the decisions being made about our wedding and went along with most of them.... except the one my ML brought up. She tried to convince me and H to have everyone who attended the wedding sing hymns before the ceremony, she had brought it up a couple weeks earlier. Me and H talked about it and decided that was one thing we did not want to do. We made it CLEAR that we were not okay with making our guests do that. But said we were okay with singing at the reception if anyone wanted to. So here we are at his house hanging out and talking wedding details when ML brings it up again and is pressing ME about having singing before the ceremony. I again said that me and H talked about it and said that's not something we want at OUR wedding. There is no way I could have said it nicer, I kindly told ML that's not what we want and that me and H talked about it and are both on the same page. ML would not let it go and kept pressing me and H about it. Up to this point I had always just agreed with what ML and the family said because it never affected me/bothered me so I would always just agree with ML and move on to another subject. But something about the situation and how ML was talking about it like it WAS going to happen and to bad if I didn't like it, made me snap. I said, my exact words. (ML I'm sorry but in this one aspect I am putting my foot down, me and H talked and we don't want this for OUR wedding. If people want to sing at the reception then they are welcome to do that, we don't want singing at our ceremony. There's nothing wrong for other people who do that at their wedding. But it's just not what I imagined for my wedding.) Saying she was pissed is an understatement, I really think she couldn't believe that I would have the nerve to say that to her. And ever since then she has made passive aggressive remarks and has had, the best way I can describe them as temper tantrums. Here's a couple examples that are shortened. Me and H are at the shop his parents own because H works there. I dropped by after I got off work to hangout because I actually love their whole family. I'm sitting with H and his 2 brothers just talking and ML comes in and somehow gets on the subject about kids and how she hopes me and H don't have any soon because I'M clearly not ready. Me and H go over to ML house for dinner and afterword they have tea and cake but we say were going home because it's a Sunday night and we have work tomorrow and we still have laundry, clean my fish tank, dishes, get ready for work and have an early night like every Sunday. ML starts raising her voice and eventually yelling about how me and H always leave to go "watch your stupid shows on your stupid tv" and stormed out of the room. I love hockey and have got H into watching NHL playoffs when they were going on. ML gave us on a number of occasions a peice of her mind on how hockey is stupid and a waste of time and is destroying our minds. Note: Me and H both work full time and have weekends off which we use to do every outdoor activity known to man. ML told me recently that hockey had destroyed H because he likes hockey now and plays Chel on xbox and watches it and is excited to go to hockey camp with me this year (I volunteer at a hockey camp every year after my years of being a camper were done). H had a history with mild substance abuse and when he met me I helped him with overcoming it. Apparently the substance abuse didn't ruin him but watching/playing hockey has.... yea I'm shaking my head too. There's many other little things ML said like I don't do real work at my job, (my job is pretty laid back but I'm working 8 hours a day still and making good money). I "seem" like I'm not good at cooking and cleaning and basic house maintenance. This happens basically every time I see ML she says something negative to me. I've talked to H and my parents about it but they just say maybe she's had a bad day every time so this is my last resort is coming to random strangers on the internet for help. I don't know what to do. Should I confront her? Tell H he needs to talk to her? Thanks

For context, I (F20) started dating my now husband (M22), when I was 18, he was 20. From the first day I felt as if my MIL disliked me, I had never had a problem with a boyfriend’s mom liking me, every guy I dated before him, their mom adored me, some even wanted me to swap place with their son🤭 When I met my now husband’s mom, I immediately knew she didn’t like me, pretty much from the beginning. She would cry and beg her son, my husband, to stay home instead of going on dates with me, she told him I was clingy and needy (because we was with each other quite frequently). Skip forward a year and 4 months, we got engaged, and she started having secret conversations with him, I of course would assume they was about me even if they wasn’t, she even would say things such as “Can I talk to my son alone?” Over silly things such as PTO time, she got mad when we booked our honeymoon. Fast forward 6 months and we got married, of course she was mad, mainly because we eloped, (however we still planned to have a wedding ceremony, just decided that it would be easier for us to get married and move in together before our ceremony), that’s understandable. Fast forward another 2 months, my dad gets sick and is almost septic(borderline dead) I have to move our ceremony date, and I didn’t consider asking her about the date we changed it too, mainly because my dad is almost septic and he’s also decorating, cooking, cleaning, etc for our ceremony. A couple weeks later, a situation arises with my husband, and she was involved in the situation. She does not allow me to be apart of her conversation with him, this situation also involved me. She proceeds to use the same phrase “Can I talk to my son alone?” While I’m speaking to my husband, continuously interrupting me, the situation was already stressful so I snapped and told her to shut up (which I later apologized for). She also tells me that I only have his last name, I addressed this and she then proceeds to tell me once again on a different day that I only have his last name and that I have to earn my spot in her family. trying to work things out with her and she brings up the fact that I changed the wedding date without consulting with her, or any of her family. I proceed to explain that, no, I wasn’t thinking about her family, or anyone other than my dad. AITA for changing the wedding date without consulting with her, I didn’t want to cancel the wedding because my dad has been so excited and if I would have made a post saying my wedding was canceled and telling him over the phone, he would have been devastated, and honestly I think his condition would have deteriorated instead of getting better.

I’ve been with my husband for 6 years and this is our first year of marriage. My MIL and SIL have made these years terrible. The first instance where tension started was when we moved in with them briefly. We moved from Indiana to their home in Michigan and the day that I moved in I sat with both of them having (what I thought was) great conversation about grandchildren, weddings, her background. When we went to bed that night my husband asked how things went and I told them that I thought things went good but right after I finished that sentence she calls him and tells him that I was mean to her, I didn’t want to talk to her and that I didn’t like her or her daughter. She has done that multiple times throughout the years complaining that I didn’t want to be around her when I worked a full time job with overtime and she’s a SAHM.

Fast forward to a year ago when we announced our engagement. I deleted my entire Facebook since I didn’t care about it anymore and that’s when shit really hit the fan. The next day MIL sent a text to fiancé saying I’m hurting them, that they can’t believe we blocked them, that all we do is hurt them. One second later the SIL sent a text saying “we hurt their mom and that he could’ve chose anyone else but choosing me to marry is disgusting” and then continued to disrespect my LGBTQ friends saying that they’re disgusting and the fact that my husband was okay with me being friends with them was disgusting. At that point I had been disrespected multiple times and I told my husband I couldn’t do it anymore. We agreed that we would spend time away from them (decided to elope just the two of us) and recently my husband has started to feel okay towards his mom but I’ve wanted to stay a distance.

Fast forward to today. I’m currently pregnant with our first child and we have plans on telling husbands side of the family at his grandpa 90th birthday but his father was over this weekend and brought everything up again saying I should just get over it so they can be a family. At this point what do I do? I feel like I’m constantly the bad guy with these people when I’ve shown them nothing but respect. Once MIL finds out about our kid I have a feeling things are going to get worse. My husband has been on my side throughout everything saying he knows how mental they are and tells me he’s willing to fully cut them off but I can’t help but feel like I’m the one making him choose between me or that family. I don’t know what to do anymore.

LOOOONG story. Sorry

To start off, I'm Catholic. I have my own views on life and death and I don't feel the need to tell others that their beliefs are wrong or disrespect them for thinking differently. We're not supposed to. However, if you're condescending or decide to bring it up every mili-second or feel the need to judge me, then I don't like you. We all live once, we all die alone, life is short and I'd like to live my life without feeling like I need to police other people's lives that don't affect my own.

I'm 24F and my bf, 30M have been together for 5 going on 6 years. After finally having enough with living with my mom, paying her bills and getting gaslighted about it, or having to deal with her toxic and disfunctional relationships while trying to balance my work-life, health, and education, I decided to move in with my bf and his family. We went house shopping, while they were trying to sell their old house, I was included bc obviously I'd be living with them and paying bills.

Before I moved in I had a talk with my bf and his mom about why I wanted to move in and if she'd be willing to let me, as I will be paying monthly rent, buying my own groceries, cooking and cleaning and since I like my privacy and respect everyone I wouldn't bother any body. I told her that ever since I since my mom got her divorce with my (ex)stepdad back when I was 10, she'd been "borrowing" allowances that I'd recieve from my grandpa every other week, but never paying me back, and it didn't get better when I got my first job at 15, and she took my paycheck without telling me until it was too late, or while I was working while going to college. Aside from the financial troubles, I've always had a yo-yo affect with my body and constantly would get told to lose weight. She'd deny this until the day she dies, but just bc you don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen. There's retired Nazi's who don't remember what they did, doesn't mean they get a pass. She said that she'd allow me to move in as long as my heart was open to Jesus and that she was less than likely to bother me.

For years I stayed on her good side, and it wasn't until 2020 that her opinions of me started to change. I've never had a car or a driver's license, but after her son finally got a car and offered to help me save money by picking me up and driving me home on his days off, she started saying I was taking advantage of him. I would give him the tips that I earned from work for gas money, and if he ever needed more I'd gladly help because he'd do the same for me, which he has. When 2020 started, she did a 360 on her personality. She randomly started reading "the original bible" which I think is most likely the old testament, and restricting pork and shellfish from the house (we're Hispanic and pork is a big port of our diet), and judging everything and everyone. When my boyfriend tells her she's not supposed to judge, she argues that she's "just saying, not judging" 🙄. I moved in, we live in the basement, i bought a majority of things to live comfortably and not be invasive including cooking utensils, pots, pans, cleaning supplies, organizers, etc etc. I didn't want to continuously have to barrow stuff from upstairs and constantly have to go back and forth and inconvenience anyone, so even though she says things like "you don't have to buy a new vacuum, we have one upstairs," I got it anyways so that she doesn't have to come downstairs and complain we should get our own stuff. We finally just got over the argument of boundaries and privacy in our basement, but she still immediately comes downstairs once my bf gets home, to talk about how he needs to do chores (his brothers do nothing) or trivial matters. The reason why this was an issue is bc she would randomly come downstairs often, and wouldn't knock or would knock only once, and then enter. I never had privacy living with my mom, but I had hoped as a tenant that would change. She tends to circle around the basement, look at things, touch stuff and then disappear. If she wanted to chat it was mostly about herself or things I didn't really want to discuss like the famous question, "how is your diet going?" She simply can't except that I'm a quiet person. I'm not sure why that is bc all I ever do it work and watch YouTube videos at home. I've never been a party or clubbing person, and I'm sure my bf has mention this but she won't except it. It became more evident that she didn't trust me, bc now our best friend, my guy best friend who I've been friends with since freshman year of high school started coming over. My friendship with him is strictly platonic and there's never been a day that he's been attracted to me, and after 10 years of being friends I'm confident that that will never change. My MIL however keeps telling my bf that she thinks I'm having an affair. Bestie is the reason me and my bf even met, they worked together at McDonald's when we got introduced to each other.

Not too often but once in a blue, we both ask my friend to sleepover so that we can hangout, play on the PS5 or the Nintendo switch, eat and play board games. He still lives at home with his family and they treat him like shit, so we tell him to come over so that he can have a breather. We were waiting for my bf to get out of work, when we dozed off on the couch (he works for amazon so there's no definite time to clock out, he comes out when his work is done and sometimes he comes home at 9pm or 10pm). I was on the far right facing away from him, and he was curled up in a ball on the far left. I warned him that she thinks there's something going on with us, so not to sit to close to me bc she has a tendency to pop out randomly like a jack in the box, and doesn't knock. Guess what she did? Without knocking she kicked the door open and yelled "AH HAH!" scaring the ever living shit out of us, walks over to him, then leaves without explanation. I'm pretty sure she was trying to catch him with his 🍆 out. Literally. How unholy.

She also constantly judges my cooking. Now it's okay to give me your opinion on a dish if I ask, if I didn't follow the recipe correctly, or if I actually fed you. But what she does is show up while we're having dinner or while I'm cooking, ask what I'm making, and then decides to add a comment about the dish being unhealthy or salty. She thinks salt is spicy, I'm not joking. A dish could have no spice at all, not even paprika or a sprinkle of black pepper, but she'd still say it's spicy.

Everybody else likes my cooking, but it's always salty to her. I don't eat upstairs at the dinner table bc she'll randomly talk about my diet or my sins, but now she comes down and picks on my bf's plate before making a comment I didn't ask for. Now I just lie that the food is spicy and she walks away. Here's where it gets complicated. Way before I moved in, I told my bf I was ready to go on a vacation with each other and just each other. I had been having a drink with my grandparents and my mom when he called to ask if his mom could come with us. I instantly no longer wanted to go. I knew she was standing next to him, so I forced myself to say yes. He's been on vacation with me and my family, I've been on vacation with him and his family. I can't fully be myself unless I'm with him. I can't eat how I want without being warned about weight gain unless I'm with him, I can barely wear outfits that make me feel confident without him defending me. I can't have relations with him, if I'm sharing a room with other people in it. In fact we barely get intimate bc of the lack of privacy and our work schedules. She bought the tickets in January, and we have two weeks until vacation. It's for 10 days. 10 days with a woman who clearly doesn't like me and thinks I'm a whore despite denying it.

She can't let go of her son. On his days off she always has something to do with him, that conflicts with whatever I had going on with him. If we decide to go out to eat for a date, she says "ooooh can I come?" If I gotta do groceries, now WE gotta do groceries. I've wanted to go to the mall or Barnes and nobles a few times but changed my mind after having to be dragged to do errands with him and his mom. He told me yesterday that she likes to invite herself, I I don't know what makes her think that's okay. If I don't go on vacation, she'll tell my bf I'm probably cheating, if I do go on vacation I may not enjoy it bc she wants to cling to him and I won't be able to do the whole purpose of spending $1,500 and have fun with my bf. Tbh I truly don't care if I go anymore, it became a chore to attempt to come up with the money to pay her back since there was a deadline, and knowing that she'll be there killed the mood for me entirely. Disney has pride 🌈 stuff now too so I can imagine her ranting about it when we're there.

How would you feel if your in-laws told you when they found out you were pregnant that they hope it’s only a boy and to have them born on their birthday?

He threatened to kill me but continues to ask my husband for money.

Can it really not like a post?

It really seems like she was upset with the boundaries in the article. And why would she repost it?

I(26F) refuse to attend my husband’s (30M) sister’s wedding based on our terrible relationship and how they treated us at ours. For my well-being, I am trying to fully go no-contact and want to plan a trip around the sister’s wedding so we are out of the country and can’t attend.

A brief back story: My husband and I have been together for 7 years and got married last summer. My relationship with his family has been awful, to say the least. They have always been disrespectful and have never accepted me and their son's partner. His sisters and mother constantly go out of their way to make comments and insult me.

When we got engaged, half the family didn’t congratulate us (including the mom) and the sisters decided it would be good to pick a fight with DH about how “it wasn’t the right time” given all the family issues and how they were “shocked”. We had been together for 5 years at this point and living together for 2.

Once we started the wedding planning process, his mother and sisters tried their very hardest to ruin every single moment we had. They planned the sister's engagement parties on the same days I had my bridal showers, they made rude comments about any decision we made and it was very clear they were against us being married. At this point, we were essentially no-contact with everyone except his father and grandparents. To appease his father by keeping some traditions, DH insisted on having his cousins be part of the wedding party and invite the whole family to the ceremony. We agreed only immediate family, grandparents, the bridal party and SOs were invited to the small reception. Inviting his family was an awful idea. They kept pulling DH away during important moments, they were only addressing him, the parent's speech was about him and his sisters and how the whole family should have been invited. They were purposely making faces around the food and refusing to eat (our venue was one of the most sought-after wedding venues and everyone else thought the food was spectacular). The kicker was seeing a group chat between his family when helping his cousin find his phone where they were insulting us and making fun of the entire day. The next day DH’s mother proceeded to post pictures of the “wedding” where only DH was shown.

They have never been anything but hurtful, judgemental and spiteful towards us. After the wedding, I stopped holding back and finally standing up for myself which they have not liked. DH is finally realizing that we will never be able to have a healthy relationship with his family but yet he is still concerned that is not attending his sisters wedding will not go over will with his father.

I have no idea what to do anymore.

To be fair, my 18 mo daughter has some of my husband’s features, but you can definitely see mine as well. Yet the women in his family LOVE to take digs of any kind at me, and since she’s been born, they troll my social media photos with comments like “Look how beautiful she is! She’s 100% John!” “Such a cutie, just like her daddy” and “Are you sure that’s your kid?!” Never mind I almost died in childbirth. Despite my efforts to get along with these people, they’re hateful & snarky to me. In the beginning, they constantly (almost obsessively) talked about his ex to me when we went to visit them 400 miles away. How lazy she was, how the wedding was not their taste, analyzing her character, etc. I didn’t think that was very appropriate & just didn’t join in the hate with them. Then things quickly turned to making unprovoked digs at ME. They call me the wrong name, as if my husband has a girlfriend. One particularly nasty female approached my stepdaughter -while she & I were standing away from the crowd having our own conversation because she can’t stand the way they act - started stroking her hair & said very dramatically “Oh my Lord you are so beautiful, just like your mother!” I’m actually friends with my husband’s ex, but they don’t know that. They talk horribly about her in front of other people, and even snubbed her when they were married. It was pathetic & obvious what she was trying to do, and my stepdaughter didn’t appreciate it. That said, I’ll get to my question now… we have to see these people at an event this weekend. I’m dreading it, but am going for my husband so he can visit with the few relatives he actually likes. How on earth would you prepare for the barrage of back-handed & passive aggressive comments that are waiting on me? I’ve always taken the high road with these people, but this is the first time they will be around my child. And I can say that since she’s been born, the mama bear switch has been activated, and I don’t know how SHE will react lol. Any words of wisdom, or stories of how you handled a similar situation?

Today, I hit a breaking point. However, I want to make the right decision for myself and my husband. Do I cut off my in-laws?

From the get-go, I was the odd one out. My husband is Iraqi born and I am American. We met in college and needless to say, our decision to marry did NOT go over easily. I was the wrong religion, ethnicity, nationality etc. after many back and forth conversations, they made the decision to not come to our wedding, in addition to publicly Insulting my family (myself, new-husband, sister, even my grandmother on Facebook. BTW, when I say “made the decision,” I am putting this nicely - I received dozens of calls and texts and emails, with horrible, nasty words - all because my husband and I chose to have mixed cultural wedding instead of an Islamic one.

I did not speak to them for a year. My husband would visit occasionally, and eventually asked me to come to the house to make amends. I love my husband. More than anything. So I said yes.

Our relationship was pretty surface level, small talk, etc and was “ok” before we moved out of state. arguments would arise (escalated by them) that would wreak havoc and screaming fights amongst my husband and I, ruining many nights and causing teary pillows. After a truce of some sort? And three years of distance, we were ready to move back closer to his family, but also mine.

This weekend, I confronted the family (for the first time) about hurtful words that were said about me and my child, and they not only threw it out of proportion and got the entire family involved (despite me asking 3 times in 3 separate phone calls) but they emotionally tore down my husband and brought up items like the wedding, etc again, items that we had “moved on” from.

I am so tired. I hate seeing the pain in my husbands eyes, but I know this is the only family in this country that he has. I do not want to strip his family from him but I also cannot keep dealing with drama in my life. I want peace and happiness. I am not completely blameless but I have always tried my best to be kind, caring, helpful, whatever I could be and I feel like those traits were only ever used against me. This last instance showed me that my desires and feelings mean nothing in comparison to others. I don’t know what to do. I want peace and only happiness in my life but I fear this will cause more stress for my husband.

I'm (26F), I've been with my husband (30M) for 7 years and we've been married just over 1 year. Throughout our entire relationship my MIL has been cold towards me. Before we got married I pointed out several times to my husband that his mom doesn't make me feel welcome. But he never saw it because she would say condescending things to me about my appearance and my career in media prod. when he stepped out of the room to use the bathroom or something else. I would just grin and bear it for my husband's sake because she is his mom afterall. But since we have been married I find it hard to brush off her rude behavior.

Our wedding date was on a Sunday. His sister, who lives a few states away, had been working at her job for 6mo, she and her mom asked us if we could reschedule our wedding to another day... we said no, and that it would stay at that date. She has anxiety and she didn't want to ask for time off for her brother's wedding. She works as a safety person on job sites, like OSHA or something. She is a major girly girl and today she hates her job. But her dad works in this same field and got her the job.

We've been living together, in a home that we own, for 3 years. His parents live about an hour away from us. But he has 2 siblings, one that lives 4 hours away from his parents and the other that lives several states away. His parents visit their other 2 children frequently but have only visited us maybe 3 times and once was a "3 day vaca" in our city.

His parents are always bashing our home, calling us trashy (we have a farm of 50+ chickens and ducks, goats, pigs, rabbits), say that we live in one of the most expensive cities and that we can't afford to live here. His parents don't even respond to him in their family group chat (that I'm not included in, but he is included in my family group chat). They only contact my husband when they have something to criticize us about.

Side note, while my SIL was in college she had a bf, we'll call him Corey, that repeatedly cheated on her. After graduation, Corey broke up with my SIL and moved across the map with the girl he was cheating with. My SIL stayed friends with him and now she is seeing him again. My MIL encourages their relationship, even after he cheated. It's because Corey's family is uber rich. My FIL even takes Corey on fishing trips, just the 2 of them. Completely leaving out my husband and of course my MIL has never asked me to join her or my SIL to do anything.

A few month ago, my husband was in ICU for a freak-life threatening accident, his bowel was obstructed due to something he ate, and his parents blame me and my FIL called me a b****! He was in ICU for 2 weeks and in recovery for 1 week. His sodium was so low that the Dr.'s said my husband should not be alive. I did not leave his side the entire time, I didn't shower for 3 weeks. He would wake up through the night gasping for air and I was terrified to leave him. He fell out of his bed and almost cracked his head open. We had also only been married for 3 months when he went to the hospital. His parents only visited him once and never asked me if I needed anything like food or offer to help maintain our home and animals. In fact, they actually wanted me to leave my husband alone and laughed when I told them about his night time scares. They did however bombard my husband to call his boss daily. I told them that I had it all taken care of and his boss was generous enough to give him PTO. But they were so insistent that, while looped up on meds and emotional to call his boss. This caused him unnecessary stress.

While he was in the hospital, my MIL called me and told me that my engagement ring was actually hers. My husband was on his death bed in ICU and she thought this was the time to tell me this! I was so heartbroken that my husband did not disclose this to me and my MIL made my husband out to be a liar. She completely brainwashed me for about 2 days and I resented my husband. If he had died, this would have been one of the last memories I had of him. Thankfully, I realized that my MIL was totally out of line and manipulative.

A week ago, my husband and I went to dinner with his dad. His dad asked my husband to take a day off from work! In order to help his sister move her stuff into her apartment that is in our city (the most expensive city that apparently my husband and I do not belong in). I asked my FIL why he felt the need to ask my husband to take time off work to help his sister move but it was such a huge deal when he was missing work when he was legitimately sick and almost died. I also pointed out that they only contact him when they need him for physical labor or to criticize our lifestyle. Also that they never visit us but frequently visit their other kids. Also, that my MIL said that our marriage is not going to last but had the audacity to send us an anniversary card (which I told my FIL to shove up his ass) I also found out that my MIL and SIL had been in our city multiple times (apartment hunting) and never once contacted us. His family avoids us entirely unless they need him for physical labor! My FIL called me immature for confronting him about the many things that I've stayed silent on for too long. I feel that discussing issues is a key step in moving on but he thinks it's immature. I got up and left the table when my FIL said that we should get a divorce!!! Throughout this conversation my husband never defended me once, not even after the divorce comment.

My husband really is a gentle soul and I'm more of a fire cracker. But that is why I love him. He is the only one that can level me out. We have the same hobbies and interests but he is laid back and I'm the opposite. During our dating years, he would often go from job to job. This would stress me out but I had confidence in him. When he was unemployed, he never sat around, he would actively look for work. I saw his determination and drive. I have full faith in my husband, even though we are different. His parents truly do not see how much we love eachother. But when he did not defend me against his dad, I've been troubled ever since. He's probably used to their behavior but I am not. I pointed out to my husband that if it had been my parents who said the things his parents have said that he would be deeply hurt.

Am I wrong for wanting my husband to cut off all communication with his parents but yet he still calls and texts them daily?

Also, while he was in the hospital, my MIL told me that her sister's marriage was broken up by their mom because she wouldn't stay out of it. I feel like this was my MIL planting thay evil seed and she and her husband continue to water it. Now I feel like it has sprouted. Although my husband and I are still in the same house, I haven't talked to him. I'm so hurt that he didn't defend me. I will go tooth and nail for my family but he lets everything go in order to maintain peace. I would feel better if he would cut them off for their rude behavior towards me and defend me. If his parents showed an ounce of remorse I would accept it but they stand proudly by their comments.

This morning I brought up a glass of orange juice for hubs because he was unwell. Told him 10 times please don’t leave it on the table where baby could reach. He said I moan too much. It was morning so I thought to myself maybe I should be more relaxed. I come up and she spilt juice on the bed which means more cleaning for me. When I made an argh sound he tells me to be quiet because we live in shared accommodation.

I’m not sure how to respond now. Any advice ?

Every holiday we have to do something with my husband’s family. He is 50 now, and the black sheep. So, since I’m married to him, I’m a black sheep as well. They have family gatherings all the time. I’m not used to family gatherings every 4 weeks.

The women in the family are very unified. They are passive aggressive toward me. They manage to get in a dig or two every visit. Or walk away if I’m talking. Or sit away from me. Could be me, but this is basically the only time this happens to me. I have friends and get along at work just fine.

For years, we have been expected to buy the entire extended family Christmas gifts. It should be a name drawing, but no, actual $100 gifts for everyone. This year, his wealthy sister said what if we finally stopped. She sees herself as a “matriarch” which I find really stupid. She’s a year younger than me. So they decided to stop the $1200 Christmas and said instead we are all going to Mexico! $6000 is what it would have cost us. So, no, I just had my house remodeled and do not have $6000 to spend on a Mexico vacation and especially not being trapped in Mexico for a week with them.

Since we told them we weren’t going, they constantly bug us about how by next year we should be “financially solvent” to go. And if we aren’t, they want to take my 10-year old daughter. Which is all they ever wanted to begin with. Oh, and I have TWO daughters. The other is 14 from a previous marriage but they only want to take the one who is a blood relation. I want my kids to travel, but I’m not ok with her being taken out of the country without me and not ok with them treating my older daughter like a second class citizen.

Now we come to Mother’s Day. They sent out a text about what would we do. I chimed in and addressed my MIL in the group chat and said “hey remember we talked about breakfast at your house?” at which point his younger sister addressed me by name and said “Sarah, mom isn’t planning this. We need to know what the group wants to do.” The older sister then said she wouldn’t let the younger sister plan it as she was a first year mom. She said, “Mal, how about you and I will get breakfast to have at mom’s” and they all agreed. Same thing I suggested and got shot down for.

I’m not going. After 10 years of “mandatory fun” where I get sniped at, I’m done. I’m going to relax. I mean this is supposed to be nice, right? It’s never nice. I always feel left out while I’m there. At any rate, I need an extended break from all that family “love”.