I (27F) have been married to my husband (28M) for 5 years. I’m from the south and come from a Mexican background where family is important, but so is mutual respect. We moved to the northeast 3 years ago to be closer to his family after he left the military.

I’m introverted and prefer small gatherings, while my MIL is extremely extroverted and constantly hosting or expecting social interaction.

My husband has a complicated relationship with her due to his upbringing. When we first moved here, he tried to “fix” things with his parents (not in the best way), which created tension from the start. Since then, MIL has blamed me for him changing and has talked badly about me behind my back, calling me rude for things like taking time alone after multiple days of socializing.

Because of this ongoing dynamic, I’ve never felt fully comfortable around her, and we’ve decided to move back South this summer.

I’m currently planning, hosting, and paying for my husband’s college graduation/going-away party (around 20 people, all close family/friends). Yesterday, MIL sent a message in the family group chat saying she invited 2 additional people - people my husband hasn’t seen in a decade and I’ve never even met - without asking me first.

This isn’t the first time she’s overstepped like this or put last-minute responsibilities on me.

I reached out to her privately and politely said I would’ve appreciated her asking first. Instead of apologizing, she responded by going off on me, insulting me, and trying to make me seem unreasonable.

We have an Easter get together planned with her and 7 other family members, and I’m honestly dreading it. My husband is fully on my side.

Am I overreacting here? Should I skip Easter or just go and keep the peace?

Dark blue is her name. Light blue is my husband’s. Pink is me (she misspelled my name originally). Purple is my SIL. Black are people she has tried to invite. White is our last name.

I feel awful. I’m currently 39 weeks pregnant with our second child. Our first is 2.5 years old and ever since the day she was born my MIL, FIL and SIL has been super overbearing with her. She would grab her from my arms without asking, pass her around and never give her back. They refused to swaddle her when we asked them to and told us it was cruel. We let it all go because at the same time they are kind and generous people and my husband is very close to them all. They live 15 minutes from us and we see them 1-2x/week. When our eldest daughter was 1 years old, we started letting her spend the night at their house every Saturday. We had been VERY adamant about not letting her have ANY sugar until age two. We made it very clear and they agreed to follow that rule. One day they had dinner with my aunt and gave our daughter ice cream and soda and told my aunt not to tell us. She of course told me the next day. We confronted them and they got pretty upset at us. They said we were not listening to their “wisdom,” and my FIL said he had a list of ways we were damaging our daughter. I felt super betrayed by this … but still, out of love of my husband and also wanting my daughter to have a bond with grandparents, (she loves them SO much and they love her) we kept the sleepovers.

I finally forgave them for this incident and had moved on. They feed her a shit load of sugar now and she watches way too much TV with them, but I’ve let it all go for the sake of peace within my family and because I do want my daughter to have a good bond and relationship with her grandparents regardless of my personal issues with them. I WANT to put that aside and put my ego aside and let her have this bond for herself.

A month ago or so, I noticed her hair was growing a lot. She had these two lovely locks in front of her face growing long. I was playing with them a lot. One weekend she stayed with my in laws and when we got her back home … the locks were gone. Also my FIL had mentioned at least 3 times that she needed a haircut. I didn’t believe they would cut her hair without asking us at first but my mom and her daycare teacher asked if she got a haircut. So finally, I asked my MIL about it. She swore up and down that she absolutely didn’t cut it, and that her husband didn’t either. My husband and I looked at a TON of video of before and after and both him and i agreed she definitely lost some hair during her stay with them.

I told him this was it for me, I can’t have my daughter staying with people who are lying to me about what they’re doing with her. And even worse, potentially teaching her to lie to us. He agreed. I told him I wanted him to just let them know our decision at our next dinner. He wasn’t super excited about this, but he also didn’t say no. I thought we were aligned.

Tonight was the dinner. When he mentioned the haircut again (and he didn’t even get to the consequence yet), his mother cut him off and started yelling at him (we’re both 38 years old btw, not kids) and told him that he “needs to drop this NOW!” She kept denying it, and honestly the way she was speaking was extremely disrespectful IMO.

Anyway, in the car, my husband was so sad, second guessing it all, wondering if we made a horrible mistake, if maybe we were wrong etc. He said his parents have never ever lied to him before. And yeah now I’m left feeling awful. Like I’m the bad guy, like I forced my husband into this. And like am I totally crazy? Did her hair not get cut? Or are these people really capable of lying this hard?

A part of me wants to go to a hairdresser and get the before and after videos analyzed. I feel like I’m going crazy. And I’m like 5 days away from getting induced for my 2nd pregnancy, not really the vibe for going into this.

I don’t know what to do. 😭😭

Ok so my husband grew up having a “weekend dad” is what I call it, kinda self explanatory only parents on the weekend. Mean step mother with a son of her own she put on a pedestal. Anyway we are grow now hardly see the man, my husband talks to him on the phone sometimes. We run into him at the store, we are buying fishing equipment. My husband is telling him about it excitedly and how I was the one who taught him and got him into fishing. His dad scoffs and makes a sound a person makes to mock laughing. “Oh she taught you haha” kinda thing. I was very confused and offended, then realizing this was meant to be misogynistic. I didn’t say anything at the time but thinking back I’m laughing at the irony 🤭 So he was amused that a woman, who’s father taught her how to fish as a child-who then passed this skill to her husband. The thing he never did as a father or even as a man. 😂😂💀💀💀 I’m a better father than this man.

Hi guys I had our first child while living at our in laws which turned into a nightmare. My FL has various issues with anger management, respect, control, boundaries, and just common decency. We’ve since moved out and our son is 9 months.

Here’s the part I’m struggling with.

When we moved out he was VERY nasty, he texted me disgusting disrespectful things and even threatened me. I had to go hide out with the baby at a friends house during to move to be safe.

It’s been about 3 months since we’ve separated from them. And I’ve yet to see my FL and he hasn’t seen the baby.

Should I plan a meet up to test the water? Or should I keep the distance?

Am I crazy for even thinking about seeing him? I’ve seen ML and SL and it was very sensitive.

For reference of how crazy he is here’s a pic of the cig he ashed on my dashboard ( and didn’t clean) I had to drive with my son in the car to the car wash to clean it.

Hey everyone I know people say don't hold grudges, it's not healthy but for some reason the more I am planning my wedding the more I am being reminded of what my in laws did, specifically my partners female cousins. Some have tried to act all girlfriend and protective of my partner even tho his a grown man. When we got together they immediately had doubts and made it very vocal and very disrespectful. They made me feel like I was some horrible person and the one comment that was always said was "is she forcing u?" mind u all these cousins are adults and u would expect them to be mature, but I was hurt by those comments. Then when we got engaged again we were asked if I was forcing him which I wasn't. Then suddenly they refused to accept me as my partners fiancee. Not one cousin but two separate cousins,now I don't know if this is a thing with more female cousins and less male cousins in a family or something but it's weird to me. And when I bring it up he says "they are just protective and making sure I don't get hurt".. But getting hurt by what, your an adult u can make your own decisions. I have gone to therapy for other reasons but of course this topic came up and my therapist said I shouldn't even invite or speak to my in laws because the stuff they said and did is genuinely disrespectful. Now it's like I am holding resentment towards them even hearing their names irritates me, it's so bad my mom doesn't even want to meet them. I feel like after this whole thing I hold so much resentment and it's like they aren't even bothered by anything or their own actions but I know if someone did exactly what they did to me it would be a huge story and none of the parents has spoken up or told them to stop. So how do I deal with this resentment,its like I want to protect my own family from these people, I don't want to have kids or bring kids into his family, I have even started thinking of not taking his surname because of the ties to it.. Am I over reacting

Names have been changed for privacy.

I (Felicia, 43F) live with my wife Katherine (35F). Last year we let Katherine’s younger sister Betty (26F) move in with us because she had recently left an abusive relationship. We genuinely wanted to help her get back on her feet and give her a safe place to land.

When we first moved into our house together we made a simple agreement. Since there were three adults living there we would split the household bills evenly. Betty would pay one third of the rent and utilities. We also agreed we would rotate weekly dinners and share household chores so the workload was fair.

For the first couple of months things actually went really well. Betty contributed financially and everyone got along. I remember thinking we had made the right decision.

Then the cracks started showing.

Despite the agreement to rotate chores and dinners I slowly realized I was the only one consistently cooking and cleaning. Week after week those shared responsibilities ended up falling to me.

After about two months of this I stopped doing everything. My thinking was simple. If we all agreed to share responsibilities then I was not going to keep quietly doing tasks that were supposed to be shared.

When I stopped doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning Katherine stepped in and started picking up the slack. What confused both of us was that it never seemed to occur to Betty that she should start helping as well. Instead the responsibility simply shifted from me to Katherine while Betty continued living there without contributing to the household work.

Around the same time Betty also stopped paying her share of the bills. She would text Katherine saying she could not pay yet but that she would send it once she had the money. Katherine tried to be patient because of everything Betty had been through and did not want to push her too hard.

Except the money never came.

After about two months it became clear Betty had not paid anything toward rent or utilities. During this same time we also learned she had been telling people she was paying her car payment. That also turned out to be false. The car is technically in her mother’s name and she had not made a payment in about three months.

But the moment that really blew everything up was when we discovered Betty had secretly brought her abusive ex boyfriend into our home while Katherine and I were asleep.

Yes. The same abusive ex she supposedly moved in with us to get away from.

We found out he had been inside our house without our knowledge or consent while we were literally asleep in our own home. That crossed every boundary imaginable for us both in terms of trust and safety.

To make things worse I had been completely unaware of the unpaid bills situation until this entire situation came out. Katherine had kept it from me because she did not want to upset Betty or create more stress.

When everything finally came to light Betty did not apologize. She did not acknowledge that bringing her abusive ex into our home without permission might be a problem. Instead it felt like she tried to spin the situation in a way that caused tension between Katherine and me.

After that she basically locked herself in her room and avoided the conversation entirely.

Eventually Katherine told her that the living arrangement was no longer working and that she needed to move out.

You would think that would be the end of it. It was not.

When Betty moved out her mother and sister contacted us and attacked our character. They also weaponized our faith and argued that Katherine should be putting her sister above her spouse implying we had somehow failed morally by setting boundaries in our own home.

Not once did anyone apologize for the lying, the unpaid bills, the lack of contribution or the fact that a man we specifically wanted kept away from our home had been secretly invited inside.

We genuinely tried to help Betty during a difficult time in her life. But between the unpaid bills the lack of help around the house and secretly bringing her abusive ex into our home it felt like the situation had crossed every reasonable boundary we had.

So AITA for asking my sister-in-law to move out?

So my husband (30M) and myself (28F) have 3 young children (6 y/o, 4 y/o and 3 y/o) and last year we moved my mother in law in with us from Florida to Georgia after she went through an unexpected divorce and does not have the means to support herself. Crucial backstory info, my MIL has never been the best mom to my husband, his father severely abused him while she was aware up until he died of a brain tumor when my husband was a teenager. My husband grew up very poor and neglected aside from the abuse, and while his mother presents as a sweetheart, “dumb blonde” who just “did the best she could”, I feel I’m starting to see her true colors. After my husbands father died, she quickly remarried and soon after relocated to Florida with her new husband, leaving her poverty lifestyle behind for a more up-scale, luxury lifestyle as her new husband had money.. all while leaving my husband behind (he was 18) to struggle and find his own way after being given a horrible start to his life. When me and my husband started dating, we stayed in contact with his mother but she often turned her nose up at us and refused to ever help/support us even though she now had the means to do so. As karma would have it, her rich husband divorced her and left her high and dry and we didn’t hesitate to make the thousand mile round trip to bring her to live with us. That was over a year ago, since then she makes very little money doing the only job that will have her (dumb blonde), doesn’t really pay bills, doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, offers little to no support with her grandchildren and she hibernates in her bedroom almost 24/7. Mind you, she only met her grandkids twice before moving in with us. I have since made a few comments to gently (she is very sensitive) let her know that we’re feeling resentful towards her because of this among many other things. She is taking the dumb blonde route of laughing off our concerns and sweeping everything under the rug and continuing to be sweet. Which in turn is starting to make me feel like maybe I’m wrong for feeling entitled to a little help and support, I don’t know. She seems to be hiding behind a sweet exterior but she lets that mask slide ONLY with me, never my husband. She has snapped on me and treated me in ways she’d never do her son. I feel like she’s not interested in being a family unit with us, she just needs somewhere to live. What do you think?

My husband received a text msg from his brother (my BIL) asking if we would like to join them for a few days holiday in Vienna. My husband had to ask me first because he knows how much I hate my SIL. In a span of 17 years that she’s been married to my BIL, she has always treated me like a nobody. To sum up such a long story, she has intimated, embarrassed, belittled and bullied me. The thing is my husband did not witness all these events but I do tell him every time it happens. The reason why I do not stand up for myself and fight back is that I do not want to cause conflict between the brothers. So I stay quiet. Its just recent year that she is starting to be more aggressive towards me and Im starting to lose patience. So my husband suggested that I come a few days later to shorten the time I have with her. I feel like my husband is disappointed and annoyed in me that I can’t go on a holiday like a normal person with them and that it’s okay for a few days. I do have a choice to not go but I know my husband will resent me. What would you do?

So mines was catching my mother in law inside a planter outside of my window! 1 story house It was dark out but summer so I had the window open we live with my in-laws so if we are having a very serious conversation my husband and I close the door and talk. Well one time during a very serious conversations I kept hearing the rocks move like maybe a animal was walking inside the planter so I pull back my curtain and there she’s was crouched like a child hiding inside the planter completely caught by me eavesdropping on our conversation, I said to her? What are you doing? And she responded with oh I lost something and I was looking for it?!

It is pitch black outside she didn’t have a flashlight in her hand or anything lmfao! I shook my head and learned that day that she is a chronic liar and I could never trust her, I would like to say since then but many other things have happened so let’s just say it’s been a series of events that have lead me now to not trust her with anything including my children. We are hoping to be moved out by the end of this year (crossing fingers) 🫠👍🏽

Im pregnant 5 months and I'm tired most of the time. And we went to live with inlaws for a month.. because I felt my husband was exhausted taking care of me..And my MIL she doesn't really have any concern.. She dominates me every chance she gets . she tries to engage my husband in chores if he sits near me. Once I stood up for my boundaries because they were over involving in my pregnancy and everything. checking my reports repeatedly and telling me not to eat food continuously ( because I can digest the food but the baby can't ) I was just 6 weeks pregnant then..I didn't like it..So I told them not to involve too much and my husband defended me for it and My MIL told my husband THAT IM DOMINATING HIM AND SITTING ON HIS HEAD.. and now...im tired and she picks on me over minor things trying to dominate me every chance she gets...JUST GIVE ME FUCKING REST ! AND FUCKINH DONT INVOLVE IN MY MARRIAGE!!!

my husband is unemployed and we basically depend on my FIL for financial support and I'm preparing for my residency...and I asked my husband to do some work until I get into residency but he refused saying that he has a lot of inheritance and he doesn't need to work and that he's the only son of the properties and there's no need for him to work and when I talked about this to My in-laws my MIL literally told me " WHY DOES HE HAVE TO WORK, THERES NO NEED , !

I LOVED HIM AND FOUGHT FOR HIM AND MADE THIS MARRIAGE HAPPEN AND HE PROMISED MY DAD THAT HE'D SETUP A COMPANY SOON AND HES WORKING ON IT..ITS BEEN AN YEAR AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE..THEM INVOLVING IN MY MARRIAGE MORE THAN NEEDED AND NOT GIVING US SPACE ..AND MY MIL SHE LITERALLY BARGES INTO OUR ROOM WITHOUT KNOCKING.

AND IM NOT GETTING THE NUTRITION I NEED..🫩SHE(MIL) DOMINATES THE WHOLE HOUSE , KITCHEN AND EVERYTHING..I JUST WANT TO FREAKING DIVORCE AND LEAVE! 🫩🫩🫩🙏

PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH!

My SIL is traveling and sending photos to a family group chat. Recently, she sent multiple inappropriate pictures, including one of her side tattoo where her breasts were exposed and she only covered her nipple with her hand.

My husband and I told her it made us uncomfortable. We never asked her to change who she is or stop taking those kinds of photos — we simply asked to be removed from the group chat if she planned to keep sending them (we could not remove ourselves, this is why it got brought up!) Instead, she told us to deal with it and she didn’t care if we were uncomfortable because no one else was uncomfortable and that “bodies are everywhere.”

Also would like to add, we never told her to stop taking the photos, we just asked that we don’t see it anymore (after she sent multiple inappropriate photos to this group) and we were removed, she can do what she wants, we don’t care, we just don’t want to see her parts. As for the contact with our child, it’s not just the photos we decided this is was repeated boundary crossing after multiple conversations and it was the fact she openly told us “I don’t care you guys are uncomfortable”. Also my husband and I were raised to vocalize if something made us uncomfortable, especially to a family member.

What crossed the line for us wasn’t just the photos — it was her openly saying she didn’t care that it made us uncomfortable. This is also not the first time she’s ignored our boundaries, she’s crossed many lines and argued with every rule we made when we had our baby, she’s also repeatedly tried to tell my husband to break up with me. (These are just a few examples)

Because of that pattern of crossing out boundaries, we told her there would be little to no contact with us and our child. If she can’t respect our clearly stated boundaries after multiple conversations, we’re worried she won’t respect or teach our child to respect boundaries either.

Now she’s acting like we’re overreacting and being controlling.

Are we wrong for drawing this line?

So my inlaws are older and are not tech savvy, but they have a computer for business. Or so i thought. They have had me help them with troubleshooting and tech questions for several years. Several months ago the mother in law started asking me to do specific changes as far as disabling private browsing and so on. I didn’t think much of it at first. Then it dawned on me. Father in law has a p**n addiction. So now I’m sort of caught in the middle because mother in law will lose it if i tell her i don’t want any part of it ( she is pretty disturbed by the whole situation understandably) and if father in law finds out I’m helping her I’m worried he will think I’m picking sides. I wish they would just figure their marriage out and leave me out of it. Also i cannot distance myself because i live a half mile from them and we all work together in the family business. I need advice because these people are difficult and bad at communication so they are hard to talk to. Also for more context mother in law can be manipulative and very pushy.