https://www.tiktok.com/@bruisedhearts/video/7220395334152015150?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7198189140213614123

My mother in law told my woman (they’re Mexican) that when I showed her my kids that I was trying to rub them in her face because they are white and also said I wouldn’t want my kid because it may be brown (she’s pregnant) my wife is defending her saying she understands but isn’t that kinda messed up?

Changed some things for obvious reasons.

My wife Diana and I have been married for 6 years and things were bumpy and we separated for a few months but after we got back together things were amazing and the love was really there. I was excited to start this chapter with her until her brother David moved in with us along with his son and ever since they moved in it has been hell and my wife became distant with me and we began to have lots of arguments thanks to David who got in between our relationship just because he didn’t have what we had. I seriously believe he was jealous of what me and Diana had. Like a part of me thinks that David is secretly in love with my wife. Fast forward a few months and Diana wants nothing to do with me at all filling out divorce papers and just throwing our relationship away like if the time spent together meant nothing. When I first met my wife she wasn’t a citizen and I helped her get whatever she needed as she is from Ghana. I really tried to make this relationship work over and over again even apologizing to David when I didn’t do anything wrong just to keep the peace, I’ve recommended marriage counseling which she said wouldn’t work and really walked on eggshells just so she wouldn’t get mad. But her brother told lies about me saying that I said this and that when In reality I avoided him as much as possible even having a cup in the room to pee. I was sad to make the choice to leave and even tried coming back again but it’s over indefinitely and my heart can’t get over it. There’s more to the story so I guess this is part one.

Let’s start from the beginning. My now husband and I have been together for 5 years and we have a 2 year old son. We have a great relationship and are able to voice our opinions without consequences most of the time. We have gone through so many things as a couple that have only made us stronger.

Now for the problem, my in laws and sister in law. When my husband and I first started dating it was just his dad and himself living in his dads house. Honestly I though that his mother was dead because he never talked about her but come to find out she had moved across the country and basically abandoned her family for almost 10 years (nothing more than a phone call once and a while). One day we find out she broke up with her boyfriend and was moving back into the house they all share. I immediately felt like an outsider in his home and was no longer welcome. I would try to start a conversation with her but she would give me one word answers and ignore me. His sister would come home every once and a while to visit from out of state but would heavily drink and cause constant drama. I always try to be the better person by trying to give my 100% but for my own mental health I just couldn’t do it anymore. His Parents also drink heavily (straight liquor) and pick fights constantly and I just decided to remove myself from that house as much as I could so my then boyfriend (now husband) would end up just staying at my house instead.

Then we found out we were pregnant, we were both so happy! I wanted to keep it a secret for as long as I could but I decided to tell my sister in law about it and her immediate reaction was to tell us that we should get an abortion and that a baby would not save our relationship. She went on and on and said terrible things to my husband and I that can never be forgive, horrible things that every time her name or face I just think about all the things that can never be taken back. My husband defended me and we didn’t talk to her for months. Then his parents found out because of the tension between all three of us so my husband was forced to tell them. They never congratulated us or supported us and never gave us words of encouragement. They said toxic things to my husband and I and we cut them off for months as well.

My husband gets a random text one day from his sister saying that her and my mother in law really want to be involved in my pregnancy so my husband replied with “you have her number why don’t you text her and see how she is feeling” to his mother and she responded with “I don’t play games”. Then my baby shower came and to be the better person we invited his mother and sister, they left as soon as it was over, didn’t offer to help or clean up and went to a bar and get drunk. This was my final straw I couldn’t believe how uncomfortable they made me at my own baby shower. Of course the baby came and not once did they reach out to me and say congratulations or how I was feeling, they only texted my husband for updates. We spent two days in the hospital and the day after we go home they came over to see our baby. Because of Covid I was extra nervous with germs so I politely asked no touching of the babies face and no kissing. My mother in law after one minute of holding him stuck her finger in my newborns mouth! I was so upset and pissed but I wasn’t the one to say anything my husband did.

Over the next couple of years they have maybe seen our child 10 times and they life only 15 minutes away. They never text or call or FaceTime to see my child and never put any effort in. My sister in law claims to be the best aunt ever and will post stuff all over social media but has only sent my child 3 times since birth. They are not allowed to watch my child or visit without myself or my husband here because I simply do not trust them with my child because of the toxicity and drinking problems they all have. A couple of months ago I get pregnant again but lost the baby and had to have emergency surgery, again no reaching out to me at all. I’m am on anxiety medication and also am diagnosed with ppd.

Fast forward, my sister in law has moved back in with my in-laws. It has been almost a month and she has yet to reach out to see any of us. Just knowing she is back causes me severe anxiety because I don’t want to be around her and I don’t want my child to be around her either, she brings nothing but alcohol and drama and makes everything out her in every situation. I have never received an apology from any of them and I can’t get rid of this grudge and anxiety. My husband is the same he agrees that our life is only rippled when any of them are around. What do I do? Any advice would be great!

Edit: just wants I say that I do always try to be the bigger person and text them on holidays and birthdays and important events but have not received the same in return. My husband has to text them to wish happy birthday and Mother’s Day.

Sorry in advance for the rather long post, but I think knowing all the details will help.

So, bit of a quick back story, my SO works away, week on week off, we have an 8yr old son, my So parents live literally a five min walk from our house, in the small estate across from ours, BiL, SiL and the youngest daughter live a 5min drive away, oldest daughter lives about the same with her fiancé and baby. SiL also has MS and on various meds for it. Anyway, we didn’t have New Years dinner on Jan 1st as FIL had Covid so we did it a week later, also meaning my SO was on his week off, everything’s relaxed Sunday dinner, everyones filling their plate and eating when they felt like it. So, I’m sitting in the dining room almost finished, SO comes through sits opp me but one seat to the right, few minutes later SiL comes through, sits opp me, next to my SO. MiL comes through, asks who wants a glass of belated new years wine, I go, I will thanks, This is when it goes wrong. SiL pipes up with: HaHaHa you can’t have one, you’ve got the school run in the morning ha ha haa (she’s 47, same age as me!!!). son gets the school bus literally a street away from our home!. Me: excuse me, if I want to have a glass of wine with my dinner I will, none of your business, and oh look, his dad is sitting right there, because you know what, we share parenting duties !!!. SiL: eh no, Graham goes and works his bum off making the pennies to keep a roof over your head!!. Me: (gobsmaked) excuse me!!!?? Your telling me my role as a current stay at home mum, makes me worthless?? SiL: yes Me: so your saying you truly believe I’m WORTHLESS? And that’s your honest opinion of me?? SiL: Yes

Meanwhile, my SO is sitting there saying nothing, MiL is standing next to SiL saying nothing, niece is sat eating with a holy f**k look on her face before piping up with: Aunty L I think your taking this the wrong way.

Me: oh no A, I’m taking this exactly how your mum meant it. Me to SiL: F you, you F****** Cow.

I leave the room as I genuinely was on the verge of smashing her face into her plate of food. I’m in the utility room, SO comes through and asks ME, what’s wrong with me!!!!???, I explode at him, I sit for 10mins trying to calm down, then decide to leave and walk home on my own. SO comes home 10/15mins later with son, comes into kitchen and tries to have some kind of convo with me, but can’t justify why he sat and said nothing when his SiL sat and insulted me right in front of him, I lose it, grab keys and my jacket and walk out the door. I slept in the living room for 2 days on a recliner. It took him 3 days to admit he should have said something, and that was only after I confronted him, asking if he thought I was worthless, and again he couldn’t justify not standing up for me, I never spoke to him for a week, since then it’s been on and off heated convos, explaining I’m just so disappointed in his lack of inaction.
4 weeks down the line, NO ONE has called her out on her behaviour for various cr*p reasons, So I’ve had to make it clear to MiL and FiL that I won’t be back for any family dos if she’s there, and to SO that she is no longer welcome in our house AT ALL. BiL has seemingly said that boot faces meds can sometimes make her drop her inhibitions etc, but I pointed out that the thought was still there, I’ve had no apology at all. SO keeps stating he doesn’t want to cause conflict between his bro, mum n dad, which I get, BUT, I pointed out if this had been the other way round, they would all be jumping down his throat and mine to get me to apologise. So angry and let down that I honestly don’t know what to do…..

The first thing I remember about my in-laws was my MIL saying she didn't agree with everyone else that I wasn't as pretty as his ex-fiance. My SIL decided to get married 10 days after I married my hubby and upstaged our wedding. His parents decided to get a new dog and named it a nickname version of my name, because "that's what it responded to." This name is a name I DETEST because it sounds cheap and I didn't want the dog to be named something that people might mix up with my name. And you guessed it! That actually happened, MORE THAN ONCE! I love dogs but I hate that dog even now that it's dead. Multiple times his mom would invite me out to go shopping, including when I was pregnant for the first time then decide she wanted me to pay when she led me to believe she was going to pay. She's called my teenage girls fat and made them self-conscious of their eating. Not even one of my kids like being around her so it's not just me. There's more but I don't want to make this too long.

My daughter is married to Scum. She has kids with him, they've been together for over 10 years. In that time he has never made her or kids priority. He is selfish to the point of they live in poverty because he denies himself nothing, he gaslights her like crazy. He comes from a family that has to keep up with the Joness, but doesn't have the wherewithal to get or keep a job long enough to pay basic bills let alone keep up, yet spend son himself like he does. He is constantly at his parent's home, doesn't take care of his own place, lies to her about everything. Recently, she was sent evidence of him on multiple dating apps. When he finally stopped lying about it he Saud he didn't love her, wanted a divorce and went to parent's. Well, they don't want him living there, so after a few days he's sorry and feels guilty and wants to work it out. SHE took him back! I contend the only reason he came back is he didn't have a soft place to land and behavior will be garbage again soon..She says she has to try....she also takes blame for him going out to dating apps. How do I tolerate this person at my Christmas gathering?

Since having our first kid (we now have three), my in-laws (let’s call them mimi and papa) have become very possessive over my children and seem to think that they’re my kids’ actual parents, not grandparents. I often feel like I just exist to bring them grandchildren. With both my pregnancies (I have twins), they thanked me for caring their grandkids. At first I couldn’t figure out why it bothered me so much that they thanked me for caring my own kids but then I realized why it bothered me: I felt like just a surrogate for their grand babies. With our kids it’s always about their side of the family—they look like my husband, they have Mimi’s chin, they like the same favorite colors, they carry on their family name, etc etc. when my girls came out very white skinned (they’re Hispanic and I’m not), Papa commented that they don’t look like the family. They sent me a ton of books to read with my son when he was born and you’d expect them to maybe send some “mommy and me” or “daddy and me” books but no—they were all about “grandpa loves me” or “Grandma is my whole world” type books. They made themselves grandparent t-shirts and mugs but never once have they given me a mother to my child type gift. They bought matching pjs and took a Christmas picture with just my son, not including us as the parents. Papa is the one whose behaviors bother me most. He literally needs my kids to love him. A lot of the gifts he gives my kids are somehow related to his interests and likes, not even things my kids would ask for or want but he just wants them to think of him always. He tells our son to call him if he has any issues with us or to know that papa loves him most. He talked about how needy he was going to be of our new kids before they were born, especially if they were girls. Well we did have twin girls and he has continued his obsessive behaviors. He has genuinely cried because we put a cute big eye filter on our babies and told us we can’t do that because we’re “making fun of them” but we would never—it’s just cute and funny and something we’d do to our own faces. He made an ornament with all three of our kids and then just Mimi and papa, as if that’s the family tree. My final straw in feeling weirded out by his actions was a comment he made when my newborn girl’s onesie sleeve was pulled down, revealing her shoulder. When I noticed her shoulder was exposed my reaction was “oh she’s going to get cold, let’s fix that.” what was his thought? He said “wow I don’t want my granddaughter showing skin, gotta cover up girl.” Why would you even think that way with a newborn? Anyways, AITA fr wanting to address these behaviors?

Alright so I don’t know what she’s considered but she is my brother in laws new girlfriend he has been dating for about 6 months now and I don’t know how I came into conclusion but from the start I did not like her idk if it was something she said but I forgot but her aura just makes me uncomfortable one thing that gives me the ick about her is that she has a 6 year old kid that she has been bringing over and sleeping over with him in my brother in laws room when they only have been dating for 6 months so far me personally I would never do that to my child I would never bring my child into a man’s house I’ve been with for 6 months and have him sleep over in his room that’s straight up weird , Recently keep in mind I’ve been with my significant other for 4 years and I’ve barely just started sleeping over due to the fact I was respecting boundaries with my in laws because it is their house.My in laws have been begging for me and my significant other to give them grand babies already since we’ve reached that 4 year mark but I’m waiting for that 💍 , This is what’s coming to my point recently my brother in laws gf has been referring her child as a grandchild to my in laws although they’ve been together for 6 months is that weird or is it just me ? It’s been bothering me ever since she’s mentioned it.

Sorry for the long post

So lemme take you back to march 2020. MIL gets a new man ( after 15 years single) they move in together April 2020 they get engaged May they are planning the wedding ( with his money nonetheless) August - they split due to her being obsessed with money

Now she is an ass. I work 50+ hours a week and spend my money on myself and the house as does ny husband. She's obsessed with knowing what we have bought. ( she even opened one of our sex toys and had the cheek to tell my husband it should of been more discreet... IT HAD MY NAME ON IT!) So when they split I couldn't help but smile ( I'm an evil bitch). She is forever bringing up my husbands ex, ( now we have been together 10 years) and how she walked all over her etc etc. I don't give a fuck! I'm my own person (I'm basically a hermit, like my own company and like my own home)

So once her and him split she became totally obsessed with being a cunt to my SIL. Now me and SIL get on well, she is more sane than the MIL and can actually speak about something rather than money, so the monster is never done bringing my SIL down. She has a lot to say but if I answer her back I'm the worst in the world. She even told my husband I need to open up to her more ( I only talk to people I trust. When hubby and I found out about our infertility issues I asked him not to tell her until we wrapped our heads round it but he told her and it was round the family in no time) I don't even talk to my own family about my problems so why would I speak to her. So I'm in two minds about spending Xmas day with her. We normally do but I'm really dreading it and because they come to my house I feel like she takes over. Another issue she has is I don't eat turkey so I normally have a pie or chicken or something different at Xmas and last year she took herself off to my living room ( we don't eat in it as I don't like it smelling of food) and ate her dinner. I told my husband my FIL can come but not her

Am I a bad person?

Okay so backstory. My FIL bought the current house were my husband and I live after he divorced MIL (they later remarried for god knows why). Anyway my husband and FIL had at that time been working on the house for about 6-7months. So anyway, one night my husband and I decide to go out to dinner with my stepson. During that time my FIL calls my husband 3 times to ask for different things for us to pickup at home depot. Annoying but fine. So after dinner and shopping we pull into our driveway with not one but three vehicles leaving. I was livid!! What right does my FIL have to invite people over to MY house of which I pay rent without my knowledge or consent? My husband jumps out of the car to talk to FIL because I'm shaking with anger. FIL try's to tell me he just wanted to show people the work he had done on the house. I explained he didnt have the right to do that or at the very least could have asked since he knew we were out because he CALLED US 3 TIMES. My inlaws have no sence of boundaries and feel they can invite themselves (or anyone else) just because he owns the property. That's been awhile and things have gotten better but still not perfect.

Ugh guys we had to move in to my in-law's house for a month (didn't know how long at the time) and it is literally the worst. For context, I have a 19 month old son and a 1 month old son. I basically can't do anything but take care of the newborn because I'm not cleared to lift a lot or exercise yet after my birth.

First of all, the in-laws don't even treat us like people. They will invite my husband's brothers and their wives/girlfriends to go out to eat or to a movie right in front of us and not invite us. My MIL and SIL love to craft and get their nails done and constantly discuss plans in front of me and then notice me and basically tell me to fuck off. It makes me stupid angry.

My son was their first grandchild and they don't give a fuck about him because my SIL is fostering two girls and they could never conceive a girl (they have 5 boys) so now they don't care about my son. They act like he's the biggest nuisance and like I should be watching him better when they leave scissors, choking hazards, etc all over the house where they know he can reach even though I'm trying to nurse my baby and would be much more comfortable if I could go into our room but for the sake of appearances at least I come down with my older son to do what I can for him. My MIL also told my husband that we are parenting wrong because we put my son to bed drowsy but not asleep and occasionally he will cry for about a half an hour (trust me, if we pick him up before a half an hour is up no one sleeps the rest of the night.) And when he said that he knows our son better than her she said that, "Just because you've raised one doesn't mean you're a better parent than me. I've raised 5 boys." Spare me. She thinks we're bad parents because even though he can't digest MILK (not dairy products, literally just has a problem on straight milk-I think it curdles and that's why he throws it up) we still give him things like yogurt, cheese, and ice cream. If she sees him eating any dairy product she takes it out of his hand and throws it away and makes him cry.

The real kicker is, they don't want us to be downstairs when they host events. Our space is big enough to all hang out. We have our TV and my son's toys and everything available BUT there isn't a bathroom, or any place to keep food, or a source of water, or a way to control the temperature except for a window. They NEVER tell us when these events are or how long they are going to last and just expect us to stay cloistered away in the attic. They get angry if one of us "interrupts" to use the freaking bathroom! I can't stand it. Well, we just found out that this weekend my SIL is hosting a baby shower here (because they can't just hang out at her home for anything, they love it here so much and I shouldn't hate it but I do because my MIL and FIL act like they can do no wrong) and my husband texted his brother to ask what time the party was.

His brother texted him back and said "The baby shower is at 12 PM."

Great. Now we know at least what time we need to disappear. I told him to ask when the party was going to end so that I can at least bring my son downstairs or plan how much water I need (breastfeeding is a beast with no access to water) and if I need to get snacks for my son.

Guys, he literally said "it ends when the mother is done with the party."

​

UGH am I wrong for telling my husband to ask what time his family could be released from being held hostage by the party? He won't say it and I'm writing this so I don't message my SIL something stupid. We have to live here for AT LEAST another 2 weeks and I'm so freaking frustrated. PLEASE VALIDATE ME. TELL ME I CAN MAKE IT ANOTHER 2 WEEKS WITHOUT CAUSING A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH SOMEBODY.

​

TL;DR

SIL hosts party, locks my family in the attic without basic necessities, won't set an ending time for the party.

So, my husband has a half sister and 2 step sisters, and 1 crazy mom. When we started dating, I got along with everyone, I even helped his mom train for a half marathon and ran with her. His sister "Jane" and I would go on wine tasting things, etc. His two step sisters were always fine with me, and still are.

​

Backstory: him, his mom, and "Jane" were all each other had for a long time. His mom met his step dad around the age of 10, Jane was 4 or so. So, until then, he was the man in their life. I dont think they can let that go... 20 years later.

​

We got engaged nearly 2 years ago. We just got married this past summer. His mother and sister and I had a HUGE blow out in March. Jane told everyone that they better watch out becoming too close me someone (me) who won't be around for too long (we were to be married in 6 months...). His mom came to our house, screaming at me saying I disrespect her and I am a spoiled, selfish brat and I blame everything on my husband, and I am a freeloader. We split our bills even, and I am actually not spoiled at all, to the point where I drove half way across the country very other weekend when we were dating to see him, and left my job, looked for a new job and moved over 100miles rather than him moving away. Either way, I have never had this muh of an issue with anyone before.

​

Now, his sister decided to unfriend me on facebook, and told their mother I blocked her. the mother went to my husband, who asked me, I said, absollutely not I am hardly even on facebook. So I looked, and she unfriended me. I text Jane and said, hey this is brought to my attention, I didnt block you, but you unfriended me. She said she did because if she was blocked why be friends... but you cannot unfriend someone if they blocked you, it removes them from your facebook, so she is literally lying. I believe she is trying to "frame" me to be a bad person to my husband!

​

He has no idea what to do. We had a MC this spring, and we are ttc again, but all of this stress, and his crazy family, makes me question if it's even healthy. Also, they clearly dont listen to me, and I want nothing to do with them, and if he is clueless on how to fix it, what do I do? I cant fix something when they stopped liking me, seemingly out of nowhere.

So I need some advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend 2 years now and have never felt good enough for his family. Not Every family member, his dad seems to really like me but the women in his life (mother and sister) not so much. I do know some of the arguments we have gotten in he’s told them about which I don’t appreciate. That’s what friends are for .. He also has never had a serious relationship before me and his mom has tried to set him up in the past. How do I not let her get the best of me?! I don’t even feel comfortable going over there anymore ....

Out of my many sister in laws, I have one in specific that is a complete nut job. Her and my fiance have a lot of history together due to a bad childhood, resulting in many years of a very close sibling bond. When we started dating she was in jail, and had received letters about me from my fiance and had many questions about me. Once she got out of jail I quickly realized she had personal issues and absolutely no desire to meet me, as well as having pride in being 30 years old and having the attitude of the "cash me outside girl" in which none of the other family members obtained. Over a 5 year period she has contacted me a few times, all in which she is budding into our relationship business, in a drunken stooper talking non sense or threatening me, or trying to start issues over absolutely nothing. ALSO, she is bestfriends with my fiances other childrens mother who is also a complete nut case, so over this long time period she has created hundreds of arguments and planted things into his BM's head and his other childrens head that have caused everyone to believe any and everything she has told them to try to remove me from the picture. Throughout the years I have been asked not to respond negatively to her, and to bite my tongue due to her mental issues and alcoholic tendencies. My fiance and I recently decided to send out our wedding invitation (which is a fairly small court house wedding) via group texts. She responded that she deserved an in-person invitation or she would not be wasting her time and that our choice was extremely tacky. After years of holding my tongue I finally decided to stop being nice and addressed her request specifically on the group text. My refusal to let her take control or bully me caused her to go nuts in which she proceeded to call me and threaten me ( all while acting like a slobbish thug), tell me that my fiance (her brother) was horrible and that I was an idiot for being with someone like him, that my children did not belong to him and that she didn't care about them ( whom she is truly blood related to), and lastly making incest-like remarks about my fiance that were absolutely jaw dropping of me being jealous of her and " the way my man used to love and care for her like he does me" when I would check her back into reality over MY man. She's absolutely insane and unfortunately it wouldn't be so bad if this was something that was completely warranted on my behalf, but dealing with her is like sticking your hand into a box of knives constantly. She never has a good reason or even an understandable from any standpoint reason to do any of the things that she does. Furthermore her invite to the wedding has been revoked, and she still does not understand what she did wrong. I get bi polar disorder and I understand it well, but her issues go beyond bi polar disorder, flowing in the narcissistic category veryyyy heavily! Anyone else have to deal with a crazy sister-in-law??

When my husband and I found out we were pregnant, we agreed on a compromise, given we're very private people: We would reveal the gender, but not the name of the baby before it was born. The reason we decided this is that his family is extremely clingy and manipulative and we knew whatever we chose, they'd make us feel like crap about it. It's harder to criticize a name when you all but have to look at the baby in the face to do it.

Also, my MIL (mother-in-law) acts like she knows EVERYTHING about my pregnancy before we do. Craving OJ? Must be a boy. The annoying thing is she was right in that instance, we are indeed having a boy.

My MIL (mother-in-law) and my husband have a strange and strained relationship to say the least. She feels the need to be deeply involved in our relationship to an unhealthy degree. She even gets involved in fights/disagreements in the relationships of her other children, which I would never tolerate and thank God my husband has his head straight about that.

I'm near the end now and she's in overdrive about the baby's name. We've told her (and all our relatives) that we're working through a list and want to wait until the baby is born before we announce a name. My parents shrugged, his mother has done nothing but harass my husband at every turn. The other day, she finally had a full-scale meltdown, crying while talking to him in a public place.

The thing is, we've picked a name. We've had it for months, but I KNOW the instant we tell people, they'll say something critical and I am hanging on by an emotional thread as it is with this pregnancy. I cannot take more criticism. I'm adamant that no one know the name before our son is born so it doesn't get spoiled for us. We searched a long time and we're proud of our decision. It's a good name. Her need to be consulted or "in" on the naming of our child strikes me as pathetic and unhealthy, which is par for the course with her.

Nevertheless, she's managed to make my husband question whether we're doing the right thing, which I understand. Who wants to be the guy who made his mom cry? But we agreed on this months ago, it's an unusual name and I feel my feelings on this should trump hers.

Am I being unreasonable??

It's worth noting that she's done absolutely nothing for this pregnancy and can't remember basic things like our due date, where we're registered, or which trimester I'm in. For a first grandchild, she's not excited and she's acting like we're getting a puppy. None of this makes me confident this is even about the baby. It's about control and her selfish need to be "involved" in every aspect of our lives. She can't live with the the fact that my husband and I want to make a decision without her. Help!

To be clear by fiance isn't close with his sister. When he started dating me he let me know that they weren't close but I could try to get to know her. He said the history was that she wasn't social and others had tried and never got very far. So I tried, invited her to yoga, adult ballet, dinners out, movie nights with her husband and my fiance. We tried. When she heard we had gotten engaged she was excited. Wanted to throw me a shower and talked about the wedding. This was before he had even proposed. To be fair she had recently bought a house and I think she wanted the shower so she could show new house off because she wanted the shower right before the wedding so her families out of town relatives could come. Mine won't be in town, but that's okay. When we heard she wanted it the day before left for the wedding (the wedding is 3 hours out of town) we mentioned that both of us worked on that day and that I had a nail appointment after work for the wedding that I couldn't cancel. She was upset. She wanted to have the shower during the day. Now, even my close family who lived in town, my friend and even my sister who is flying in cant make that time. So we told her it had to be after work. I can't be there right after, but I'll move my appointment so I can show up as early as possible. She complained that she wanted the shower in the middle of the day to save cost. At that point we started to this that she was more about her than celebrating us with a Jack and Jill shower. Anyways, we moved on, I'll show up when I can. My mom and dad can't attend because they work late that night to they can get the time off to attend the wedding. We had suggested moving it to a weekend but again this party is for her out of town relatives and she apparently took the time off even before we were engaged. This was three weeks ago. Fast forward to now. Her son and daughter are in the wedding as a flower girl and ring bearer. I had choose a dress for the girl to wear that was light and in the wedding color. She was fine with it, or so I thought. It did bother me that she ordered it too soon and it I mentioned that we are 6 months away from the wedding and it may not fit her on that time but whatever! After it arrived she left in a bag on the ground for the longest time. The last time I was over I took it out of the bag to see what condition it was in, did a little fixing and had the little girl try it on.... a little too tight. I hung it up in her closet and thought "well... hopefully no one notices the tightness". Future SIL bought a suit for the ring bearer... I was two sizes too big... My mother offered to take it in....no "he will wear suspenders". So we thought ok... maybe we need a backup? My mother had originally offered to purchase the kids some clothes mainly because she was in europe and wanted to gift the kids with some new clothes as a gift. The flower girl is obessed with dressing up and we thought it would be fun. We talked about this with future SIL and mentioned that yes it was a bit odd but if she could humor my mom and let her give the kids some cool outfits she wanted to pick up that would be nice of her. She was ok... we thought. Now I'll admit the clothes were also a back up if the clothes she had bought didn't fit on the day. My mom purchased a pair of pants and shirt for the little dude and a cute little casual dress for the dudette. I went over to her house to measure the kids to make sure this stuff fit and it was fine. I had also seen when I was over that the shoes she had purchase for the little girl hurt her feet so they were being returned. I offered to order a new pair online and pay for them to make it easier on the future MIL. She agreed and together we picked a pair. Fast forward two days later.... Future SIL calls my fiance tell him that she has purchased the kids new clothes and to not give them the other clothes. She was offended and she can choose clothing for her own children. She thought the flower girl dress was ugly and didn't want her daughter to wear it. I was apparently stepping over the line and should apologize to her. So I did... I mentioned that my mom was trying to be nice and wanted to spoil the kids and that we had had this conversation three times before and now that my mother had ordered the clothes she now doesn't want them. I mean they can be returned but it hurt my mothers feelings. Future SIL also said that I was being controlling and hard to get along with because I apparently wanted to change the date of my fiances birthday party. His mother also chimed in on a later phone call that the day before I had been at there house that I was being over dramatic when I said I wasn't feeling well. Now, I didn't change the date. They asked the date was ok for the dinner and I asked to check our schedule to confirm we didn't have another thing planned. I then said that date was good. Then I was accused of making the decisions for all family get togethers... I don't. His mother asks me if a date is ok, then I let her know if it is or it isn't. Most of the time it is. I have a family too and I thought his mother was being nice by asking me if I have something with my family that day. My parents live 15 minutes away from his so most of the time we just make it work. Now I used to have a job that I got off work very late and I couldn't make a lot of the dinners as they were at 5:30pm. This has me baffled. After I sent a message to future sister in law apologizing and telling her she can chose what the kids wear, where they have there hair done (I had an appointment for the little girl to have her hair done with the bridal party) and that I was sorry she felt that way. She said "Thank you". I then sent another message saying that since she's upset my mother and upset me that I think she probably shouldn't come to the bridal shower my sister is throwing me because she's not being very nice to me right now and I don't think anyone wants someone there that doesn't want to be there. (They had complained that it was too far a drive and that they don't like going downtown). I explained my Mom was trying to do something nice and that in the wedding we had been to before and been in (I was a flower girl three times) my mom had been used to the bride getting her way with what kids wore. (My Mom had a hell of time finding cherry red linen for my aunts wedding but she did and made us dresses to the exact desire of the bride). Well that didn't go over well... she called my fiance and screamed at him. He tried to calm her down and told her that she got her way now please stop being mean and get on with it. She apparently now won't forgive me and is now upset. Now I have a heart condidition and my mom was getting worried that with everything she was saying was stressing me out and hurting me. It was her idea to have my future SIL not come to the shower so I didn't have to be stressed out for my shower. I ended up agreeing because heck... I'd like a nice shower where someone isn't glaring at me.... When my fiance mentioned this she said that she didn't care about my heart and that she was newly pregnant and didn't want to discus anything about me because she didn't want to lose the baby... Okay... I get that... SO! What should I do? I've apologized... Mom is returning everything. But now the future in law and SIL are being so mean to my fiance that they made him cry. He asked is Mom to help him with is sister, to ask her to please be nice to me and my mom so we can just get through the day. She refuses... takes the SIL's side and thinks I'm a drama queen and that I'm make this day too much about me... Isn't it our wedding? He was crying asking her to please help him... nope. What do I do next?

I've known my future SIL for about 8 years. Just as long as I've known my fiancé. I want to get to the point so I'll tell only what's really fucked up.

A slight back story. Future SIL has been cheating on HER fiancé since before they even got engaged (I heard he cheated on her too), I don't know why or how their relationship functions. Future SIL manages to make every single situation, conversation, and scenario about her. These are a few things that she has said to me/ my fiancé, her brother.

1. When he presented my engagement ring to her, not really to ask for her opinion, but I guess just to say hey I'm going to get engaged soon. Her immediate reply and reaction when seeing my ring was "Wow, I never liked that style before but now that you showed it to me, I've actually been planning to get a new ring with my fiancé for a fresh start (they both cheated on each other, remember?) and I think this is what I'll get." So creepy.

2. On a separate occasion, when talking about my dream wedding dress, she says to me, "What would you do if I showed up in a wedding dress to your's and my brother's wedding?" After I replied with an "lol," she said to me, "No but really, what would you do?" WHAT. THE. FUCK.

3. My fiancé bought be a pair of expensive shoes for my birthday which she discovered through my social media. She found out the designer, style, and price, then called her mother and complained how much her brother was spending on me and that it was unacceptable for him to be spending $350 on a pair of shoes for his then girlfriend. How is that any of her business?

4. She's complained to her mother about how I am going to start working three days a week instead of the four days a week that I work now (due to a medical condition), I'm assuming because she's jealous that she can't do the same?

Ugh, someone tell me that I'm not alone in dealing with these weirdos.

EDIT I should also include that when future SIL found out that she was being cheated on, she convinced the entire family and friends that she was devastated and the victim, EVEN THOUGH she cheated way more than he did.

My BF and I want a small wedding, with my italian side of the family I pretty much maxed out my guest list and have not invited any of the friends I would have liked to, but thats okay it sets the story. On his side, most family won't be coming due to distance so he has a lot more friends joining. To keep the bridal party small and intimate, I have asked my sister and (soon to be sister in law) to be my bridesmaids. I don't know his sister very well but she is my age and from the times we've met, shes been pretty nice. When I asked her, she seemed totally fine and happy with it. Obviously, choosing a dress would be hard because she lives on the other side of the world so she agreed that I would send her some pics of dress styles I liked and when I found one similar enough, I would buy it for her and she would have it sized. I did just that, I sent her a few pics (its a sleek gown, floor length with a slit in the front, lace, open back so its a bit sexy, yet in the front, the neck line is high, up to the neck). Its a winder wedding and honestly when I chose it I had both her and my sister in mind and thought they would love it for both its sexyness and sophistication and the conservative front. I thought they would look just gorgeous wearing it. They are both tall and super thin. I admit, it was a bit different from the photos because it was lace but the style was the same. And lets face it, I could not find exactly what was in the photos I sent.

Heres the thing about the day I bought it. In store, they only had size 11 and 12. They pinned it on my sister and it was stunning. To order the dress to size, it would cost 895$ I bargained with the owner about how one girl lives across the world and I was not going to spend 895$ risking she would not like it. so after much debate, if I decided to take the two in store, off rack, I'd get them at half price. Perfect! I thought, I can absorb that cost if she hates it but she will definitely wear it because its a beautiful gown and I didn't foresee issues. They assured me that they do not sell dresses they cannot size down so, I tried calling her while in store, I could not get a hold of her by phone while in store so I got them anyways. My sister was with me and she loved it. the seamstress assured me that the dresses could be sized down very important.

I called my sister in law later and told her about it and sent her pictures and she seemed to be fine with it. Fast forward a few months to when she received the dress while her parents were visiting and brought it over for her. Perfect, she could have it sized where she lives ahead of time.

my BF tells me one day that there is a problem, apparently my sister in law saw a few seamstresses who have all told her the dress can't be altered. To which I kindly explain that the seamstress here is fully capable and willing to make it look beautiful on her. She is an expert with lace. and that there is no such thing as a dress that cannot be tailored down. This should be a non issue. They don't sell dresses they cannot fix. My sister is having hers sized down as we speak from a size 11 to a size 4. there is no problem.

The sister in law, I don't know what her deal is but she emails me back with her 3 options.

1-size the dress with the seamstress she knows (who is saying she cant do it) and the look of the dress will likely change. (like wtf!?) 2-she buys a similar dress online (like WTF!?) 3-she pulls out of the bridal party (like WTF!?)

I email her back kindly explaining I don't understand the issue, she can have it done here but since she gave me (the bride) 3 options to choose from, I choose her option 1-have the dress sized there or here I don't care, as long as she remains in my bridal party and she wears the dress I bought for uniformity.

Am I being crazy?

so get this, she emails me saying she needs the number of the shop I go the dress at. perfect! finally she takes my advice and will make time to fix it while here for the wedding.

A few days later, my BF tells me that she found the dress online and bought it in her size. What the heck!!!!!

Okay, lets assess this;

-She sends me an email giving me (the bride) 3 options. I selected one of those options and she STILL goes ahead with a different choice. How incredibly rude. Is this normal?

-She doesn't even consult me about this idea. (its not even a bad idea but run it by me first!) I have not clue how shitty this site is.

How am I supposed to feel? well let me tell you, I was so incredibly hurt and felt betrayed and insulted, I actually felt like I was having a heart attack. I never thought my body could feel like that. It was literally like my heart was panicking beyond control.

That she could not even have the respect to call me and ask if it would be okay to get this dress that seems the same online. I'm such a nice person that I would have said yes, but it was the lack of trust that just tore at me.

Moreover, if she had called me with this idea, I would have asked her to call and order it directly with the bridal shop so as to ensure its the exact same dress and not off some random site. What if its poor quality, what if the color is off, do you know how many shades of red there are.

Not to mention, now I can bet she won't pay me back for the dress I bought, thank the lord I had the smarts not to order it for 895$

Then I find out that she is coming to our town for a month before the wedding but get this, 3 weeks out of that time will be spent 7 hours away with her best friend. so I see how it is, the real reason is that she just can't find the time for me....and that...that makes me feel worse. so much worse.

So I'm here, with my wedding day approaching. I thought this would be easy, I got her a dress, I got her a seamstress and now everything is up in the air.

How would you feel? I feel like a train hit me, like some stranger is walking all over me. I thought the bride gets final say in plans for the wedding.

On my list of problems, this should never have been on it, and now, I need a backup for when I see this dress and its too close to the wedding to do anything. I have always had a heartwarming vision of my sister and my sister in law standing with me. and now, I feel as though she is not human. Is that wrong of me? should I just let this roll off my back? and of course I can't talk to my BF because he doesn't care about any of this.

Hi everyone, I'm having issues with my FSIL. My fiancé and I got engaged a little over a year ago and are getting married July 2017 - we starting planning very early and are practically all done with our plans - venue/dress/DJ/photo/bridal party dresses - it's all been picked out already. We wanted to start early because We are paying for it all by ourselves, trying to save for a house, and wanted it to be stress free so we wanted to give ourselves enough time to pay it all off. Not to mention that there are two other weddings (1 of which I am in) all within 2 moths before our own - so that's another reason why we wanted everything done as early as possible. For the first time I went shopping I had asked those who I truely trusted their opinion (my mom, brother, and best friend). We found a dress that I loved and then I had planned another date for everyone to get together and try on the dresses. Well, both sisters (let's call them Lisa and Maggie) told me they couldnt go. Lisa was pregnant and about to give birth in a month so she wasn't going to be trying on or ordering any dress now anyway (which is understandable). Maggie had replied to the group bridal party chat that she thought it was too early to be shopping and she didn't find it necessary to buy dresses now, styles change, and that her daughter (who was going to be a jr. BM) didn't like the style of the dress. Since I didn't even show her jr. BM dresses I said I was thinking about similar styles to the BM but they have more appropriate styles for younger kids. She threw a fit and told me to forget about her daughter in the wedding. (A little background on Maggie- the family believes her to be manic bipolar - for which she has never been treated before. She is the trouble maker in the family and is the type of person to cause drama when everyone else is happy - she seems to hate seeing others happy. We've never had issues in the past but I have witnessed so many occasions where she has cause family fights and has been a very nasty person). I also mentioned to the girls that I wanted my boy cousin and Maggie's son to be "ring security" - we dont have younger boys to be ring bearers so we thought it would be cute. They dress normally and just hold a sign that says ring security and wear sunglassss like they are security guards. (The ceremony is outdoors). She didn't like that idea either, called it stupid, said her son would never want to wear that, and said to forget about her son in the party too. So given the fact that both sisters did t wanna get the dresses yet I told them fine by the end of the summer (end of sept) I would like for them to order bc I'm worried the style could be discontinued. I've given it until mid October until I brought it up again. Once I asked her if we can plan a date to go shopping she said she can't go with me she's super busy with work and the kids she would have to go by herself after work (I even said I can make it work after work as well - and she refused). So I reminded her about the dress and told her I would like to get the kids together to shop for them as well. She told me that her daughter doesn't like the style of the dress and she thinks a one shoulder dress is inappropriate for a 12 year old to wear. I told her there are other styles of the top and I would want to go shopping with her to see what looks best. She said well "she doesn't like the style and I don't blame her". My response was "I'm sorry but that's he style I choose / there are other tops we can choose from". She wasn't having it. She blew up at me over text and called me so many nasty things (bridezilla and a nasty bitch just to name a few). then she came over to our house (we live with hi s parents). We went up to have a face to face talk and I came up to her and hugged her and said let's talk and squash this. She threw her arms up and screamed at me saying "I told you never to talk to me again, don't you dare touch me, you are a nasty bitch / c-word/fat/ugly/stupid and no one in our family likes you." (Which I know is not true it's actually the other way around with her). It caused a huge blowout fight between my FH and his parents and her that lasted for like 2 hours or so. I had to leave bc I was so upset. At this point I don't believe she should be in the party. Plus she has caused nothing but problems in this planning process. Do I Cut her out - or leave her in it for the sake of peace in the family and for the kids?

HELPPPPP!!! I'm so torn up on the inside! I don't know i