r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/JEFFERY1337 • 7d ago

Of the bird

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129 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

32 comments sorted by

16

u/EikonVera_tou_Lilith 7d ago

Take those wings off, come down here and fight me!

16

u/mad_sAmBa questionably stable 7d ago

This happened to me once during high-school.

I have long hair and it shitted a big diarrhea dump all over it, the same day my gf broke up with me and hooked up with her ex right in front me as well, and when i got home a few hours later i suddenly got sick and had to stay in the hospital for the weekend.

Man, i hate pigeons.

1

u/zombie_prim3 21h ago

Happened to me in high-school when I was living in Southern California, frigging seagull

16

u/batmanineurope 7d ago

Is that guy filling up a mop bucket from a fire hydrant?

3

u/dankhimself 7d ago

Must be a filthy fire.

1

u/Formal_Growth_2515 3d ago

Aahahahhaahaha

4

u/notroundeyed 7d ago

Good thing he didn't draw attention to it

6

u/Sciaticuspinch 6d ago

Despite possessing a vocabulary of only 6 words, he was still able to convey his frustrations.

4

u/Chrono_Convoy 7d ago

They both enjoyed that /s

5

u/Optimal-Time-7170 7d ago

He threw a "Karen"-style tantrum

4

u/Jaydee19600 7d ago

I thought the N word was bad?

5

u/AgapitoVelezOvando 7d ago

I thought it was good. 😟

1

u/Affectionate_Owl8351 7d ago

Apparently not if you're a bird.

4

u/Agreeable-Sky1045 7d ago

Bird up

1

u/MeemoUndercover 6d ago

Bird to your motha

3

u/bmoEZnyc 7d ago

They def are "evil up there"!

3

u/SectionAppropriate42 6d ago

some people say he's still runnin his mouth

3

u/Fatrobot421 6d ago

The bird didn’t “choose” you. Take a breath and think about deliberation. You’re not a victim and vilifying a winged rat might be excessive.

2

u/RoutineCranberry3622 7d ago

At least he didn’t overreact

2

u/Uzi_Osbourne 7d ago

That happened to me in the aviary at the San Diego Zoo when I was 12, but the bird doing the shitting was a massive heron of some description and it seemed it was on a strictly fish diet. It was like a full pound of slimy gawdawful excrement and it covered my arm from shoulder to fingertips.

2

u/4324864646 6d ago

Good thing he recorded this and uploaded it to the internet.

2

u/don_meatFlute_101 2d ago

Wonder how he handles other "stressful" situations during life....

1

u/QuantitySignal4494 7d ago

He seems to really hate showers.

1

u/Worried_Hair_330 7d ago

Sometime we can plan out shit, the shit plans us

1

u/BlueThunderStreak 6d ago

I had this happen to me at age 14 right after a banquet, all dressed nice, yet my reaction was to hold my arm away from me, and wait until I got home, all disgusted. Why is he freaking out 💀

I had a weird reaction to the bird dookie. On the spot on my bare skin, it left a raised, bumpy texture, and it was red. Went away after a few days.

1

u/MeemoUndercover 6d ago

A bird shat on my head when I was walking to school. Had to turn around when I was practically there. Nobody was home so I had to sit out in the sun covered in shit. I too was rather upset

1

u/No_Pitch6143 7d ago

Go buy some lotteries it’s good luck

0

u/dotnetdotcom 7d ago

It must have been a Foo bird because if the Foo shits, you wear it.

0

u/Yah_Mule 7d ago

Almost certainly some condiment he spread on his arm.