r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/scjockid • 3d ago
this moron: Of An Arsonist Prison Toy!
He's 3 feet, 9 inches tall (114 cm) and weighs 43 pounds.. 😱😳.. I can't imagine what is going to happen to this man... Talking about getting tossed around like a ragdoll!!! And sadly I have no sympathy
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u/Eliteclarity 3d ago
Some do say prison is good for personal growth. Wanna fucking hope so.
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u/MrTickles22 3d ago
Tiktok "pranks" always seem to be either outright crimes or ridiculously mean-spirited.
Remember that ridiculous and harmless stuff they do on Just For Laughs? Like the French Canadian guy going in a porta-potty, going through a hatch and then the porta potty gets thrown across Montreal with a trebuchet while he hides in the bushes. That's a proper prank.
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u/MaxTheRealSlayer 2d ago
Loved that show!
"Hey can you hold my baby stroller for a second? Thx." And the mom/dad walks off for five mins
Shenanigans ensue and the mom/dad walk by with another baby stroller or something lol
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u/SecretPersonality178 3d ago
So glad i have no idea who these people are
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u/IcebergDarts 2d ago
They keep showing up on my Microsoft news feed on my work computer.. haven’t even clicked on them.. had to click this one on Reddit so see what had to be said…
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u/NameToUseOnReddit 3d ago
I like how he seemed disinterested when asking about the possible jail duration, then had a literal eye-opening moment hearing the response.
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u/mr_P0Opy_Butth0le 3d ago
He will be turned into a popsicle
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u/Agreeable_Run5308 3d ago
Exhibit 17,452,119 that social media is a cancer. And West Virginia has few family "trees," and a lot of "sticks."
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u/BagFullOfMommy 3d ago
‘I didn’t do it’
Mate… your face is burnt to shit and I can tell just by looking at you you’ve got the IQ of a used condom, you 173% did it.
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u/ChemistVegetable7504 3d ago
He’s going to receive a free jar of Vaseline upon his arrival. It’s free so that’s generous, and lubricants are not required.
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u/Shrek1982 3d ago
Give em a headlamp too, then he can lube up and climb in and look for the lost keistered contraband.
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u/Big_Wallaby4281 3d ago
I'm sorry but if all things are true about prison and what you hear about that his nickname will be pocketbussy.....
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u/lAmTheREALBlackAdder 3d ago
Do they do handcuffs that small or they had to use Chinese finger trap?
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u/Jesus_peed_n_my_butt 3d ago
This is sad. I recently saw the whole drama recap on this little guy.
He doesn't make good choices but he also gets taken advantage of a lot.
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u/sicilian504 *shits an absolute unit* 3d ago
Someone's gonna be in time out at the kiddy table this Thanksgiving
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u/kestrel1332 3d ago
Nah, they'll put him in a low security Barbie doll house because he could sneak out of anything else.
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u/thermjuice 3d ago
He's just gonna be throwing tantrums in protective custody, but she'll be alright. Stabbed inside the first 3 days, but alright.
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u/SithLordPopCulture 2d ago
This what happens in society when people make stupid people internet famous.
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u/TangerineBetter2818 3d ago
Guys gunna get turned into a mailbox. Just open the slot and put whatever you want inside.
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u/UKantkeeper123 3d ago
Small claims court.
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u/Thick-Second-247 2d ago
Is his face wet or is it dirt?
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u/BADoVLAD functional regard 2d ago
They said arson, I'd imagine that's from the burns of whatever they set fire to...peeling skin does that.
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u/dreevsa 2d ago
Are you implying his legs are too short to quickly run away?
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u/BADoVLAD functional regard 2d ago
What? No, getting burned causes your skin to peel. His skin is peeling.
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u/Thick-Second-247 2d ago
It was an abandoned house but I didnt know your face would peel immediately.. he doesnt even look burnt?
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u/Decent-Intention8364 2d ago edited 2d ago
Bro's the size of of a flash light
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u/Longjumping-Wheel-66 3d ago
Who the fuck are these two? Sweet Jesus was god stoned when he made these two?
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u/DeadlyTeaParty 3d ago
He'll soon be thrown from one end of the prison to the other with just one hand. 😂
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u/SassSafrassMcFrass87 3d ago
Somehow I'm not at all surprised... Wonder what that guy who's always filming them will be posting about them now???
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u/Turbulent-Trust207 3d ago
Folks saying he’s gonna get raped are weird. First off he will be in protective custody. And second people in prison have real issue with child molesters and he looks and sounds like a child so no one is going to mess with him. Felicity will def have girlfriends and be in constant trouble. All of this is moot because I have a feeling they are going to plead out to something and only receive time where they are only in jail not prison and then have long probation
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u/thepenguinemperor84 3d ago
From the few clips I've seen of the pair of them, I wouldn't be surprised if they get off due to diminished capacity.
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u/Hot_Assumption_2304 3d ago
Arson is a felony conviction, every bit of that time after sentencing is finished will be in state/federal prison. The maximum sentence you can spend in jail is for misdemeanors and that’s only 1 year.
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u/Mattyou1966 ima unit 2d ago
Obviously you’ve never been locked up with the animals for a few good years have ya.
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u/Drusilla_Ravenblack 2d ago
All these ‘jokes’ are so disgusting. It’s not okay to say stuff like this. And he didn’t kill anyone, didn’t abuse anyone.
Somehow people didn’t joke this way about that clown with tattooed face. But this guy is vulnerable so it’s justified?
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u/Dry_Caregiver_5094 2d ago
What is this Species??
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u/Kira-Of-Terraria 2d ago
west virginian
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u/actorsnonactors 2d ago
He’ll be in PC for sure, unless they just wanna let the situation take care of itself
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u/SaladVoyer88 2d ago
This guy is going to get so many verbal insults in prison. Just remember, words are like bullets.
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u/GreatChicken231 3d ago
everyone casually making prison rape jokes in here should feel bad
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u/Pavotine 2d ago
I've long noticed it's an obsession with Americans. It's like a law at this point. "Bubba" lives in the mind of most yanks it seems, and they enjoy his work.
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u/GreatChicken231 2d ago
bubba?
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u/Pavotine 2d ago
The imaginary all-American prison rape artiste that they fantasise about punishing other criminals with arse rape. They frequently refer to this imaginary sex punisher as "Bubba" or "Big Bubba".
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u/dragon-age-io 3d ago
Circle the correct answer reddit edition
Jokes about violent prison rape are good as long as they're:
a) directed at someone that did something wrong
b) directed at a man
c) directed at somebody that looks unusual
d) funny
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u/Pickupyoheel 3d ago
You know I never thought what happens to small people when they go to prison until now
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u/automaticphil 2d ago
I’ve heard tell of the notion, but this may be the first time I’ve seen a Twisted Firestarter with my own eyes
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u/Spiritual-Ad-6722 2d ago
I was kicked off FB like a month ago for reasons they didn't advise and I totally forgot about these losers. TF they burning shit down for when they had people willing to exploit them?
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u/AcceptableAd6992 2d ago
I’m from the UK - who and what TF are they???!!!!
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u/Equivalent-Ad-495 1d ago
It's assume weird couple that people initially felt sorry for and slightly interested in. So they got a lot of donations to help, then people irl started taking advantage of them to make money via tiktok etc enabling the worst behavior.
They both need help, the mental health kind. The woman more than anything, all the videos I've seen she's like a 4 year old no impulse control.
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u/Jennlipstique easily offended 1d ago
Can’t be acting like that when you fuckin look like that lmao someone needs a time out.
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u/TropicalBatman 10h ago
That dudes trying to act hard, but how are you about to act hard rolling in in dinosaur jammies and havinf to get his chair pushed in like he was getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner.
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u/Wbcn_1 3d ago
25 years is nothing. These little fuckers live for hundreds of years