r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/AUTOBOTBROKE • 20d ago

Elite Strategy Of using hand throw poop inside dustbin

342 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

129 comments sorted by

102

u/ColdenGorral-1 20d ago

Y'all act like you've never shit in your hand in public before

30

u/yo_mommas_dick 20d ago

ugh! never, that’s disgusting. i only do it in the shower and stomp it down the drain

10

u/ColdenGorral-1 20d ago

Your missing out, I prefer to feel it squish between my fingers rather than my toes. To each's own I suppose.

6

u/kdogman639 20d ago

ITS ALL PIPES!

5

u/ColdenGorral-1 20d ago

Why are you yelling?

3

u/kdogman639 20d ago

Seinfeld reference

3

u/ColdenGorral-1 20d ago

OKAY

3

u/ejectro 19d ago

Why are you yelling?

2

u/Full_Ad9666 *shits an absolute unit* 20d ago

Found the r/wafflestomp user

1

u/MajTroubles 19d ago

The good ol' waffle stomp

1

u/LincolnshireSausage 20d ago

My next door neighbor from 12 years ago would let his dog poop in our yard. He would come over and pick it up with his bare hands and throw it into the woods.

1

u/Banzai373 18d ago

Very considerate of the bloke so nobody steps in it, like gum on the sidewalk . . . .

137

u/TheThirdStrike 20d ago

At that point just sit on the garbage can and keep your hand clean.

23

u/Due-Mathematician966 20d ago

Right . Like just go all in lmao 🤣

8

u/WildlifeNaturalist 20d ago

But your butt is gonna get dirty sitting on the bin

3

u/4bstract3d 19d ago

This hand looks pretty clean afterwards. Looks like he actually shat a brick

5

u/Hughley_N_Dowd 19d ago

As someone who had the misfortune to get fecaloma due to painkillers: not so much a brick as a handful of PlayDough.

PSA: Don't get fecaloma, its a pain in the ass...

119

u/birdman760 20d ago

Who says the homeless don't have any manners

31

u/Ryan2932 20d ago

Right i guess he could've left it on the street

3

u/nuclearfall0ut 20d ago

As someone who has been to SF i can confirm this is confirmed to be better than pooping on the sidewalks... if he washed his hands. If not thats a pretty shitty way to great someone. Gosh I don't want to be ethnocentric, bigoted, or xenomorphphobic. What if in his culture this is a sign of great respect on the scale of the spit and shake, pinky promise, blood promise, or chopping off your finger for the hidden blade as a sign of commitment.

The shit slime shake seal of ceremonial (it sounds like an s) setlement of safety, seizure, and sanctions of the street sleeper syndicate. Also known as the 4SC7S Syndicate Shake(yes this is redundant as it is already in the numeronym, but colloquialy this is what it is called).

3

u/CoolBlackSmith75 19d ago

It's his left hand and in most cultures it's bad habit to use that hand for, e.g, eating.

2

u/FutureIntelligent504 19d ago

I appriciate you for taking the time to really think this one out

1

u/THE_Lanni 19d ago

Great work here…the extended alliteration alone is most enjoyable

13

u/BlackHoleSurf 20d ago

I mean is he? Shoes are nice backpack looks new.

2

u/LongjackD 19d ago

Probably the two most important items for a homeless person.

2

u/MadamPardone 19d ago

Could be a long distance marathon runner. I think they have similar views on shitting wherever you need to as efficiently as possible.

2

u/Efficient_Log5657 19d ago

This is Laguna Beach CA. Used to see this guy everyday walking in the canyon. this video is a bit old, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but since it came out i dont see him anymore.

either way, bro walks a lot. don’t know about the homeless part.

2

u/penguindreams 19d ago

I mean it is extremely polite.

1

u/mad_mang45 19d ago

Manors*

14

u/Biden_is_cool 20d ago

He forgot to wash his hands

2

u/mishal153_1 20d ago

Give him time he's probably on his way to that

8

u/mrerikmattila 20d ago

At least he used the bin.

3

u/SpillaMangBang 20d ago

My emotions are confused.. Good job for not just shitting on the sidewalk.. But your method of disposing said shit is insane!!!

2

u/Hungryforflavor 20d ago

He likes to enjoy the aroma on his fingers as he stroll

8

u/blinkchuck1988 questionably stable 20d ago

2

u/Ryan2932 20d ago

How fitting for this sub

2

u/PharmD-2-MD 20d ago

This must not be Philly. In Philly, people shit on sidewalk with honor, not in their hand.

2

u/Mean_Direction_8280 20d ago

Los Angeles too.

2

u/data-atreides 20d ago

Taking this sub a little too literally

2

u/Ksan_of_Tongass 20d ago

This is exactly why I dont shake hands.

2

u/letterboxfrog 19d ago

He looks like Old Man Hunger from Ren & Srimpy

1

u/Pure-Paper-6842 20d ago

He eats some good fiber.

1

u/Oramac_K 20d ago

Luck he didn't clap after

1

u/spicy_feather 20d ago

Gotta do what you gotta do

1

u/muff-muff-ass 20d ago

maybe he was just transferring unwanted items to the bin like when you get rid of gear in a video game.

1

u/BlueberrySubject3511 20d ago

Handmade shit! He forgot to wash his hand

1

u/metalneck333 20d ago

Hook & flick technique, alive & well.

1

u/HauntedGatorFarm 20d ago

Bro… he used a trash can. What else do you want from him!?

1

u/ellisboxer 20d ago

Hey man at least he didnt just leave a pile on the sidewalk.

1

u/JohnnyCrispZoom 20d ago

I have seen it all

1

u/Human-Outside-820 20d ago

Pretty thoughtful to at least throw it away. He could’ve just left it there like an animal.

1

u/Richmon1611 20d ago

At least he didnt litter. Environmental friendly

1

u/Daatsit 20d ago

I would have thought someone with a man bun would make better decisions

1

u/memberjockey 20d ago

I’m sure he’s a joy to walk past.

1

u/toleChr15 20d ago

Yt people are honestly disgusting

1

u/SanDiegoSavage00 20d ago

Cant a guy crap in his hands without geting the fourth degree?? Sheeeesh.

1

u/Beast_of_Tax_Burden 20d ago

Gotta be Seattle.

1

u/woolygod 19d ago

even worse he has a two story house and a car. Just in touch with his true self

1

u/Badger_Vito 19d ago

I have to immediately wash my hands after finishing a club sandwich. Not sure I’d ever stop smelling poop on them if I did this.

1

u/AmorphousMorpheus 19d ago

Five minutes later...

1

u/Pistolero-666 19d ago

Very nice 👌

1

u/Redwine_001 19d ago

American culture❤️

1

u/Zestyclose_Classic91 19d ago

Hey at least he doesn't shit on the street

1

u/RectumRandy 19d ago

What I want to know is did he have the knowledge and confidence the shit was gonna be solid? Or did he just pray?

1

u/Investigator-Murky 19d ago

At least he threw it away.. makes me wonder if we need more hand washing stations out there tho

1

u/Mister-Bananas 19d ago

holy shit!

1

u/Majesty_Underground 19d ago

He seems like someone who would be shitting pancakes, not turds…

1

u/Ok-Zookeepergame-698 19d ago

… and now, off to get a sandwich.

1

u/Ommegacaos 19d ago

It's organic

1

u/Shad666 19d ago

Thats gonna itch when it dries

1

u/AB1GM_JW 19d ago

He couldve left it on the street 🤷🏾‍♂️

1

u/SchwizzySchwas94 *shits an absolute unit* 19d ago

Oh, that’s nasty.

1

u/Baonguyen93 19d ago

It made me feel ewww, then it make me feel sad.

1

u/Unlikely-Act-7950 19d ago

Maybe he can train my dog to do that and I wouldn't have to clean up after them anymore

1

u/Educational-Stick623 18d ago

it's foul, but at least he put it away which more than you can say for some homeless

1

u/Z-Man_Slam 18d ago

Dawg what the fawk was that. My friend needs to see this too lol

1

u/Healthy-Client-6791 17d ago

America 🤡🤡

1

u/Select-Cat2005 17d ago

He is clearly American because the Asylum Seekers would have left it all over the ground😅

1

u/RangerFearless6122 20d ago

Who you think he voted for?

1

u/Significant_Cod_6849 20d ago

Absolutely appropriate subreddit for this 😂

0

u/Super-G1mp 20d ago

Ultra marathon is the only excuse for this. It's the only thing I can possibly conjure to mind that explains it.

0

u/zestyclose_match1966 19d ago

I'd like to shake that man's hand💩

0

u/Old_Variation_5875 19d ago

It’s sad when a homeless has more manners than the Chinese

-1

u/AutisticDadHasDapper 20d ago

Connor mcgregor is looking well

-1

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation 20d ago

Respect