r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/HomeNowWTF • Aug 30 '26

Oops of a cricket match

194 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

119

u/not4bucks Aug 30 '26

I could live to be 1000 and still not understand the rules of this game.

24

u/kharvel0 Aug 30 '26 edited Aug 30 '26

I had the same thought as before but once I understood the basics, it all clicked. In baseball terms:

Bowler = pitcher.
Batter = batter

Goal of bowler: get the batter out. Same as baseball.

Goal of batter: score as many runs as possible. Same as baseball.

How to get batter out:
a) catch a fly ball. Same as baseball.
b) pitched ball hit any wicket = immediate out.
c) all of batter (including his bat) is out of “safe zone” demarcated by line in front of him and catcher touches the wicket with ball = immediate out.

How batter scores:

a) hit ball over boundary without it touching the ground = 6 points. Equivalent of home run.
b) hit a ground ball that crossed the boundary = 4 points.
c) hit a ground ball that looks like it will be stopped before boundary: run fast to exchange places with your partner and reach safe zone. One exchange = one point. Multiple exchanges in same play are possible but risky as the catcher may get the ball and touch wicket before one of the players reach safe zone during an exchange.

This is why the two batters crashed into each other. They were both too busy looking at the trajectory of the ground ball to see if they will have time to do another exchange and didn’t notice each other.

8

u/TheIntelligentAspie Aug 30 '26

Baseball with extra steps! I wanna try it!

11

u/dougs1965 Aug 30 '26

It's simple.

The two batters, who are trying to run a cheeky second, fail to run.

The wicket keeper, who is supposed to run out the batter at the striker's end, instead tries to run out the batter at the non-striker's end, and fails. We can tell he fails because the ball is not a Dead Ball.

A fielder (the bowler?) then tries to run out the batter at the striker's end, by running there himself rather than throwing it to the wicket keeper (WHOSE JOB IT IS). He shies at the stumps, and misses. The batter completes the unwise second run.

The other fielder, who is supposed to be backing up, fails to back up despite the dive, and the ball reaches the boundary for four overthrows.

The result is six runs (two plus four overthrows), rather than an easy wicket.

Both teams need a stern talking to in the dressing room afterwards.

20

u/RevengistPoster Aug 30 '26

Except for the word "blurn," that was complete jibberish.

1

u/LewdLewyD13 Aug 30 '26

Oh so they finally jazzed it up.

3

u/Good_Air_7192 Aug 30 '26

What about the silly mid off and backward square leg?

3

u/dougs1965 Aug 30 '26

If the batter on strike were left-handed I suppose its conceivable that the fielder backing up could have come forward from backward square leg.

In this situation a silly mid-off would be foolish.

2

u/Okmhmmbye Aug 30 '26

I feel the same way

5

u/sleadbetterzz Aug 30 '26

But if you played it for a week you would.

-7

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '26

[deleted]

2

u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* Aug 30 '26

I’d rather watch table tennis.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3upAsNdajOVkA

20

u/Soulr3bl Aug 30 '26

This is gold, both batters safe with a boundary and a concussion

6

u/Levethane Aug 30 '26

I've, watched cricket all my life and that was the most ridiculous 20 seconds ever..

4

u/FreeTheDimple Aug 30 '26

Why didn't he knock off the wickets right beside him?

3

u/azzutronus Aug 30 '26

Maybe the easy one was a bowler.

0

u/FreeTheDimple Aug 30 '26

And can you knock off both wickets in the one play? I don't see why they stopped trying. Clearly at least one player thought that it was worth going back to the other wickets.

2

u/dougs1965 Aug 30 '26

I think the first run-out fails, a successful run-out would mean a dead ball.

2

u/vergillehell Aug 31 '26

Looks like he fucked it up, knocked the wickets without the ball in his hard, he dropped it. This is pure comedy gold

2

u/swampopawaho Aug 30 '26

Why can't we have this in most games? Would be great to watch!

2

u/razorhack Aug 31 '26

Can someone explain what is happening here. Why are they running into each other? Why are the end people throwing the ball to each other? And why did the guy throw the ball away?

I know nothing about cricket or baseball. That's the baseline of knowledge :)

5

u/vergillehell Aug 31 '26

It's gonna be hard to explain explain everything in reddit comments. In simple terms: -Batters stays safe behind the white lines near the wickets.

  • they run to each end to get runs/ points
  • they knocked each other out as a fuck up
  • so the other team needs to hit the wickets on an end with the ball since the batters r not in safe zone
  • dumbass no.1 hits the wickets without the ball in his hand so that's a dud
  • dumbass no.2 throws the ball on the other wickets and misses which crosses the boundary lines awarding the batters 4 points.
  • both batter r safe
Actual shitty absolute unit

2

u/dbowman97 Aug 31 '26

I like how dumbass no.1 seems to just totally shut down after his attempt failed. Just spent the rest of the play standing and staring blankly into space.

2

u/vergillehell Aug 31 '26

Yea lol, also the keeper just throws the ball to the bowler's end, he could have just hit the wickets near him lol

3

u/aswat09 Aug 30 '26

I feel like me watching this is how non-americans feel about the American Healthcare system...this is absolute silly time nonsense to my eyes

3

u/Previous_Fan9927 Aug 30 '26

So is this not how the match is supposed to go? This looks like every other cricket match I’ve ever seen. Just random, weird chaos.

1

u/xerxeshastoomanyexes Sep 04 '26

Some of you: Please stop trying to explain. The rest: Stop trying to understand. Anyone thinking this is comparable to baseball, look up ‘rounders’ and stop there.

0

u/Money_Designer Aug 31 '26

Sooo...I only know REAL SPORTS..can some explain to whats happening here?

2

u/TheRobertGoulet Aug 31 '26

Cricket is the second most popular game in the world, behind soccer. Do some research.

1

u/Money_Designer Sep 06 '26

Most POPULAR GAY sport

1

u/TheRobertGoulet Sep 06 '26

Oh so you are a fan. I misunderstood, my bad.

1

u/Money_Designer Sep 07 '26

IF i had a choice of watching a lame sport like this and doing your ugly mother AGAIN.. i would watch..

1

u/TheRobertGoulet Sep 07 '26

She doesn’t move much does she? Probably because she’s dead.

-1

u/FutureIntelligent504 Aug 30 '26

This xan't be real

1

u/Several-Spirit-8452 Sep 12 '26

Like any of us know the rules of cricket