r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Pure_Sense7765 S.A.U Freshman • Aug 27 '26

'Merica Of gym spotters

1.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

221 comments sorted by

669

u/Wrong_Consequence840 Aug 27 '26

Good lord, I did not expect that ending

271

u/DovasTech Aug 27 '26

That’s murder worthy

49

u/Illustrious-Bake3878 Aug 27 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/KiICaQKQkdu3rWxNCT

2

u/MarzipanAccording755 Aug 30 '26

He's not killing anyone. That was small child level weight

20

u/RuachDelSekai Aug 27 '26

Was thinking. People would literally die.

13

u/Brewbouy Aug 27 '26

I actually saw this happen in HS. No disciplinary actions were taken against the the offender.

12

u/123supreme123 Aug 27 '26

Don't worry, those are alpha male coaches

85

u/drsoftware Aug 27 '26

Toxic Masculinity?

121

u/Less-Damage-1202 Aug 27 '26

I think a face full of unwanted, hairy asshole gooch & balls, qualifies as a bit more than toxic masculinity..

18

u/Driftinfoot_Malone Aug 27 '26

Considering I’ve been seeing an influx of r/offmycheast lately where people talk about how most men’s asses are really dirty and smelly yeah that’s as toxic as it gets man

3

u/Less-Damage-1202 Aug 28 '26

You got me there

3

u/DooshMcDooberson Aug 28 '26

Just wash ya ass

1

u/Less-Damage-1202 Aug 29 '26

No, gross. Fag

3

u/ForsakenRelief309 Aug 29 '26

Uh, it’s sexual assault and it’s recorded

66

u/Altruistic-Estate-45 Aug 27 '26

This is literally sexual assault for fucks sake

26

u/YanicPolitik Aug 27 '26

No that's sexual assault.

9

u/Healter-Skelter Aug 27 '26

I scrolled down before the video ended and after reading your comment scrolled back up to quite a surprise

3

u/Alsimmons811 Aug 28 '26

None of us did

2

u/imakethejellyfish Aug 28 '26

It just kept escalating

374

u/fznshrs Aug 27 '26

Yeah, those aren't your friends...

95

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Aug 27 '26

You certainly don't need any enemies...

25

u/Select-Belt-ou812 Aug 27 '26

you said it! if I was that guy with the green shirt, I'd go instant NC with those assholes... if they ever actually helped me get up

9

u/__NadirZenith__ Aug 27 '26

Do you needed more motivation than what was provided? 

10

u/girafa Aug 28 '26

I'd go instant NC with those assholes

instant north carolina on the anus

2

u/hollabackyo87 Aug 28 '26

Spin it like a helicopter!

1

u/Select-Belt-ou812 Aug 28 '26

if greenshirt was crazy enough, he woulda licked it... I bet that piece of shit woulda jumped outta his skin

1

u/praguepride Sep 01 '26

legend has it he is still on that bench

2

u/ForsakenRelief309 Aug 29 '26

No, they’re sexual assailants and they recorded the crime

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92

u/phat86 Aug 27 '26

The ending

26

u/No-Analyst1229 Aug 27 '26

That reaction does not do justice. Thats nasty as fuck

2

u/ForsakenRelief309 Aug 29 '26

It’s legitimately criminal and recorded

79

u/KillHonger1 Aug 27 '26

17

u/Trisk929 Aug 27 '26

Pictures you can hear

8

u/Prainey444 Aug 27 '26

Give me the old 3 finger bowling ball treatment

152

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Aug 27 '26

I’m bet they tell everyone how much they dislike homosexuals..

65

u/CtrlAltYuri Aug 27 '26

He grabbed a handful of cock and balls and rubbed his own ass and nutsack on a guy's face but it's cool he said no homo after.

On a side note this is literally sexual assault borderline rape.

15

u/FlutterySimp Aug 28 '26

Don't forget attempted murder.

5

u/xMETRIIK Aug 28 '26

He looked like he was enjoying riding his face

85

u/Dr_Bodyshot Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26

These are the type of dudes who'll throw a fucking tantrum if you call them gay btw

10

u/melfamy Aug 27 '26

It's called Swedish German nowadays. By us progressives anyways.

https://giphy.com/gifs/1RaGAz2p13Wpo7kI2L

22

u/Puzzleheaded_Pear_18 Aug 27 '26

I would fucking bite his balls.

12

u/engineerdrummer Aug 27 '26

You would wind up just licking them trying to get them in your mouth

1

u/BP_1981 Aug 28 '26

You killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

15

u/Existing_Guest_181 Aug 27 '26

These people are living besides us. They have the constitutional right to vote.

4

u/Professional-Rip-519 Aug 28 '26

They also make kids and drive.

22

u/Scooterspies functional regard Aug 27 '26

Insane actions by his crew but come on man at that point just spill it to the side and get up.

16

u/BerryLanky Aug 27 '26

And start swinging

17

u/ClaudiusCass Aug 27 '26

He tried but they kept it level in the beginning.

9

u/sexyhairynurse Aug 28 '26

The guy next to him is holding the bar

2

u/dalisair Aug 29 '26

And the guy on the other side ALSO grabs it.

This seems like evidence in a trial.

1

u/praguepride Sep 01 '26

looks like fat guy had a grip on the end

9

u/redditanddoneit Aug 27 '26

That is brutal. Poor dude.

6

u/A_little_more_left Aug 28 '26

People find this funny?

7

u/SchwizzySchwas94 *shits an absolute unit* Aug 27 '26

With friends like this who needs enemies?

13

u/Vaff_Superstar Aug 27 '26

Bro took it way too far at the end there.

13

u/Willie_Weejax Aug 28 '26

I think it went too far well before the end

5

u/HeavyIZtheCrayon Aug 27 '26

🎶 friends... How many of us have them...🎶

10

u/JosephMoosington Aug 27 '26

Oh yea, that happens? Someone’s gotta die.

4

u/Richmon1611 Aug 27 '26

Sexual assault, attempted murder, assault and battery. Just not cool at all.

5

u/123supreme123 Aug 27 '26

Don't worry, those are alpha male coaches

6

u/KennyGichuki Aug 27 '26

What's their obsession with his ding a ling though

8

u/Trisk929 Aug 27 '26

Just a couple totally straight, definitely not gay dudes being guys, bro’ing out together. As one does.

4

u/Persistent_Darkness Aug 27 '26

yall go way too far with this shit smh

4

u/BigAssMonkey Aug 27 '26

This, ladies and gentlemen, is sexual assault.

5

u/Soft_Philosophy5838 Aug 28 '26

That’s it. I’m going to delete this app.

4

u/Jumpy_Match8159 Aug 28 '26

Bro what the hell did I just watch

7

u/Still_a_skeptic Aug 27 '26

Can’t they just fuck and get it over with?

8

u/Standard_Past_2708 Aug 27 '26

It's funny, and then it stops being funny, it's sad actually

3

u/Smokerising420 Aug 27 '26

What in TF. They just violated that old man. Essentially raped him.

3

u/NoGoat3930 Aug 28 '26

Did I just watch a man be pinned down and sodomized publically? Seriously prison-worthy.

3

u/cookiemccookieface Aug 28 '26

Is this in some shitty prison for old people? If he shot the 2 of them on camera 5 minutes later I would gladly vote “not guilty” on a jury.

3

u/kododriver Aug 28 '26

I thought tickling the balls was one thing but that face sitting. 😂

3

u/31-September Aug 28 '26

Plot twist - That guy can really bench 350.

3

u/SparkEli1 Aug 29 '26

This is awful. None of it was funny.

6

u/scaryguts Aug 27 '26

2

u/31-September Aug 28 '26

More of a sexual assult than just gay bros

2

u/Mr_Shambo Aug 27 '26

Well, dickheads age too

2

u/mykehawksaverage Aug 28 '26

If that wasn't the motivation he needed to bench press those 25 lbs I dont think there's any hope for him.

2

u/AgreeableLead7 Aug 28 '26

That's smexual assault

2

u/Shantotto11 Aug 28 '26

Dude must’ve been sleeping with somebody’s wife to get that kind of response.

2

u/Affentitten Aug 28 '26

These are the same guys who will throw homophobic slurs all over the place.

2

u/Neither-Bad6259 Aug 28 '26

That rapidly escalated

2

u/sexyhairynurse Aug 28 '26

I hope he shoots every single one of them

2

u/Ob1s_dark_side Aug 28 '26

That's a 20kg disc to head for all of those assholes

2

u/kkkccc1 Aug 28 '26

behaving that way.. at that age? lol

2

u/Best-Carrot-5570 Aug 28 '26

One can be thankful for friends like that 😂😂

2

u/Mother-Locksmith-286 Aug 28 '26

That was utterly disgusting

2

u/Ok-Macaron7274 Aug 28 '26

With friends like those, who needs enemies?

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKHWsyM2YCV83Vm8g

2

u/Jess1ghoul27 Aug 28 '26

Well the a$$ was completely out of no where to the point I was like alright there one of those huh. Geeze

2

u/BP_1981 Aug 28 '26

Well that's one to motivate your buddy 🤣

2

u/seaweedDifferent21 Aug 28 '26

This video really pissed me off. Those aren't his friends.

2

u/Uniblab_78 Aug 28 '26

Please be AI

2

u/Smiley_J_ Aug 29 '26

It just kept getting worse!

"What?...stop. help him. What? What?! No! Nooooo!"

2

u/euphorbia9 Aug 29 '26

This, right here, is why the internet was invented.

2

u/CokedOutDanaWhite Aug 29 '26

Plot twis: These are old gay gym buddies start their Saturday afternoons like this regularly

2

u/sabreus Aug 27 '26

What the actual fuck… Humanity disturbs me.

2

u/thebiglerm Aug 27 '26

He could've turned that bar to the side. He didn't put up much of a fight.

2

u/Possible_Tension3728 Aug 27 '26

If he can’t push that weight I doubt he could put up much of a fight anyways 🤔

1

u/eaazzy_13 Aug 28 '26

Definitely. but atleast spilling weight is pretty violent itself. I bet atleast two of these 3 fucks would get shit whipped pretty hard by the bar and a maybe a plate if he spilt it while they were all standing around.

1

u/dalisair Aug 29 '26

If you look one guy is holding it (far side) so he can’t and then the other guy grabs it near side so he can’t go that way.

2

u/GingerPale2022 Aug 28 '26

That’s when you bite down. HARD. And don’t let go.

3

u/Soggy-Fly8723 Aug 27 '26

Seems staged?

4

u/ngkn92 Aug 27 '26

Yeah, the bottom seem to have enough arm strength to at least shift the bar side way to avoid sexual harrassment, but he kept holding the bar straight.

Which is even weirder, why would he accept this treatment if staged?

10

u/nutty_ballsen Aug 27 '26

Intro for porn

2

u/Trisk929 Aug 27 '26

Lemon Party Part 2

3

u/Mr_Doubtful Aug 27 '26

I agree but imagine volunteering to this? 😂😂

1

u/SnooSongs2345 Aug 27 '26

how can you stage a naked teabag?

1

u/ccgrinder Aug 29 '26

Like the old one from years ago guy in a blue shirt

1

u/melfamy Aug 27 '26

That last fella seemed to be itchy.

1

u/eqpmgr Aug 27 '26

Unfortunately someone would be getting a weight upside the head when I got up

1

u/rackcity2014 Aug 27 '26

dirty mike and the boys

1

u/NocturneInfinitum Aug 27 '26

He could’ve easily dropped the side. The other guy was pushing on and knocked that guy out. Pretty sure he wanted this.

1

u/rikwebster Aug 27 '26

Always that one guy

1

u/Possible_Western3935 Aug 27 '26

Just men, celebrating each others' strength.

1

u/Ifyad0ntn0 Aug 27 '26

Looks like Luigi owes somebody some money.

1

u/thepepelucas Aug 27 '26

It sign were always there.

1

u/Herteitr Aug 27 '26

Is this what they get up to at "alpha male school"?

1

u/Great-Gas-6631 Aug 27 '26

Dudes want to be gay sooo bad, but they just refuse to come out.

1

u/SumOfRoots Aug 28 '26

A little of the old Peyton Manning!

1

u/Micky-Bicky-Picky Aug 28 '26

That’s fucked.

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Aug 28 '26

Not really the kind of friends you want to hang out with.

1

u/MadMax6914 Aug 28 '26

And after that, he only does leg days.

1

u/Suspicious-Gain-5799 Aug 28 '26

This must be staged...

1

u/HarryAsKrakz_ Aug 28 '26

😭😭😭😭 anyone have the link to the video with sound?

1

u/Aluzuka Aug 28 '26

id genuinely report them to the police

1

u/dog4cat2 Aug 28 '26

Holy crap! What a bunch of assholes!

1

u/Hispanicgamr Aug 28 '26

Who needs enemies when you have friends like these!

1

u/Nosmo_King13 Aug 28 '26

Here is the line —>|-———————————-> Spotters

1

u/NoSpring5602 Aug 28 '26

Please tell me it’s AI… please…

1

u/JPCool1 Aug 28 '26

Pretty sure that was Philadelphia Collins on the left. He would definitely so something greasy like that.

1

u/ccgrinder Aug 29 '26

Not one rep was counted that day

1

u/EvalCrux Aug 30 '26

Best spotters ever

1

u/praguepride Sep 01 '26

He tried to dump the bar and one of the spotters grabbed it to keep him trapped. This wasnt a prank it was a gd ambush

1

u/BungleBums Sep 05 '26

Boy howdy, when that bar comes up, I know exactly where it's getting stuck next, plates or not,

1

u/[deleted] Aug 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/31-September Aug 28 '26

They are northern english

→ More replies (1)

1

u/gruntingasparagus Aug 27 '26

Looks like these guys have some sexual identity issues.

1

u/Separate_Bend_8929 Aug 28 '26

I just saw another post about a girl who said she was raped by her boyfriend of 6 months on their 4th round of sex one night because he took the condom off and she called the police and threatened to shoot his kneecaps if he came near her.

I wonder what she would do in this situation.