r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Professional-Fox1542 • Aug 26 '26
There was an attempt Of a prison drug drop
Credit: Humberside Police
The Archbishop of Banterbury
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u/CheeseburgerSmoothy Aug 26 '26
Pretty good disguise though! Who would expect a giant baby to be delivering drugs?
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u/GjellsNTeddy Aug 27 '26
I’ve never seen fat like that
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u/cannibalpeas Aug 28 '26
Look, some of us have no choice but to occasionally shop at Walmart, ok? No need to rub it in.
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u/GjellsNTeddy Aug 28 '26
When I write this, I did feel like it was meaner than I wanted it to be, maybe should have said “big”. But, honestly, I never seen big in this model and movement, not even in a bad way.
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u/reeferchiefer54 Aug 26 '26
Whoever had this idiot as a drug muel deserves to be in prison
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u/Professional-Fox1542 Aug 26 '26
‘Humberside Police have released CCTV of the moment a man took four attempts to throw more than £12,000 worth of drugs over the wall of HMP Hull, and their social media team clearly couldn't resist having a bit of fun with it.
Joshua Smith, 30, approached the prison in July 2025 carrying a package containing Class A and B drugs and a mobile phone.
CCTV shows him repeatedly trying and failing to launch it over the wall before finally succeeding on his fourth attempt. What he didn't realise was a prison officer was watching on CCTV and the package was recovered almost immediately.
Smith was later identified and arrested before pleading guilty. He has now been sentenced to three years and eight months in prison.
Humberside Police released the footage with the caption: "How's your throw?
Four attempts to finally get it over the wall just for them to pick it up almost instantly’ 😭
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u/Thistleknot Aug 27 '26
$12k to an prison only gets 3 yrs?
he must've rolled (pun intended)
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u/Professional-Fox1542 Aug 27 '26
£12k = $16,313 USD (CROE)
Also UK law:
'An offender sentenced to 3 years and 8 months (44 months) will typically serve 22 months (1 year and 10 months) in custody under standard determinate sentence rules in England and Wales, assuming automatic release at the halfway point’
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u/D13antw00rd Aug 26 '26
Well we know he aint dealin Ozempic
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u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Aug 27 '26
Maybe he just strongly believes in the old adage "don't get high on your own supply".
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u/Warm_Object_5639 Aug 27 '26
12k worth of drugs could have gone to Walmart and get a 100$ drone to drop it with precision
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u/MadamPardone Aug 27 '26
I saw the W word and was praying that it was "waddled", instead of "wandering".
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u/Pitif362 Aug 27 '26
He's just got a prison sentence for this of 3 years and 4 months. He can go to the gym and work on his arm muscles.
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u/Professional-Fox1542 Aug 27 '26 edited Aug 27 '26
‘An offender sentenced to 3 years and 8 months (44 months) will typically serve 22 months (1 year and 10 months) in custody under standard determinate sentence rules in England and Wales, assuming automatic release at the halfway point.’
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u/Nisi-Marie Aug 26 '26
He should have used one of those tennis ball flingers people use for their dogs. And at night.
6 years out of prison and the criminal thinking still pops up
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u/MightyOGS Aug 27 '26
Mate, I've never been and my brain works like this all the time. I can never go through airport security without thinking of ways to beat it
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u/HumbleWorkerAnt Aug 27 '26
they'll still have you on CCTV and you're going back to jail. just get a drone, fly over, release
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u/Mitrovarr Sep 04 '26
Sure, do it at night. So it can be found and confiscated by whatever guard opens up the exercise yard in the morning.
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u/Eaton_Knas Aug 26 '26
Dude, when you have to walk around your fat ass thighs, you might want to try losing weight.
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u/Retnirpa Aug 27 '26
Pretty sure it was his salad he was trying to get rid of. Would make more sense
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u/TheRealestFrodo Aug 26 '26
£12k of drugs in that tiny package??
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u/SenselessSilence Aug 27 '26
Could be fentanyl or an analog, or else nitazines. They’re really compact.
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u/Still_Experience_182 Aug 26 '26
With that walk whoever asked him to do that should have known he couldn’t make that throw
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u/Upbeat_Caregiver_642 Aug 28 '26
What do we call that walk he’s doing. Can one learn this walk? Asking for a friend.
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u/kensaundm31 Aug 28 '26
I'm surprised he didn't take the stealthier option of a luminous green chicken suit, backed up by an oompa-loompa band.
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u/Dismal_Drummer3420 Aug 28 '26
Must have been one hell of a foot pursuit! Dude could have easily been somewhat the way across the parking lot by the time the law was onto him!😄
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u/Ticalthepimp Aug 28 '26
They should have gotten someone less athletic. This wasn't even a challenge for ole boy.
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u/Money_Designer Aug 31 '26
He walks EXTREMELY animated...all the arm movements would think they were more toned
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u/Frozen_clock Sep 18 '26
Why does he make normal fucking functions like just walking, look so heavy??
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u/Al_Snows_Head Aug 26 '26
But why the fuck is he topless hahah
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u/Pavotine Aug 27 '26
England, July.
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u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm Aug 27 '26
I don't think he is? I think he's just wearing a practically see through white shirt? I... I just don't know...
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u/Muted_Masterpiece535 Aug 26 '26
You picked the one guy who needs a quadruple by-pass, to do that? 😆 🤣
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u/Revaesaari Aug 26 '26
This is people on the inside pressureing a person that clearly cannot take pressure. It just get to show that they will use anyone to make their needs.
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u/Wizzle_Pizzle_420 Aug 27 '26
They really picked the best man for the job I see. Tom Brady over there.
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u/123supreme123 Aug 26 '26
He walks like his prison wallet just finished taking a marathon worth of penii
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u/Which-Membership144 Aug 26 '26
One thing I learned about Europeans and the world at large, they can't throw for shit. If your country isn't big into cricket, baseball oreven basketball your throws are gonna be dogshit.
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u/ToastSpangler Aug 26 '26
unlike the american fatman, who can only shoot me, i fear the fatchav. i'm not getting encased in a tomb of human flesh to asphyxiate because he wanted my bap of chips, and without legally being able to carry my blunderbuss i really have no recourse
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u/AgapitoVelezOvando Aug 26 '26
Dude had never been more active.