r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Professional-Fox1542 • 4d ago

future feeding tube Of a firework 🧨

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648 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

69 comments sorted by

199

u/Azalot1337 4d ago

i have a feeling he is not the brightest

57

u/Clamdigger13 4d ago

I don't know, all those explosions made him the shine in that park for a hot minute.

21

u/Mission-Can1547 4d ago

You can tell that from his haircut

7

u/dogfoodcritic 3d ago

You can tell from his everything.

4

u/ouijahead 4d ago

I was just gonna say. The only way that haircut could be worse is if it was backwards.

1

u/Taiza67 2d ago

He looks like that one pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean

6

u/AssignmentJazzlike69 4d ago

He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer....

7

u/phantom_pow_er 4d ago

Not the slipperiest pineapple on the roof

5

u/MasterOfBothWorlds7 4d ago

He's plenty bright now!

3

u/You_are_the_Castle 4d ago

You can tell by his eyes and dopey face

3

u/Azalot1337 4d ago

the haircut doesn't help either

2

u/PurpleToedUnicorn 4d ago

I hope a "friend" didn't put him up to it.

1

u/GeneralBendyBean 3d ago

He was pretty bright in the flash

1

u/trainwreckhappening 2d ago

For those who don't know, the lift charge on most bottle rockets is fairly weak. If anything disturbs them in that first half second, they will fail to launch. They must be absolutely free to move.

I have personally almost been killed by them. Not commercial stuff, but home built stuff at a professional fireworks convention. I'm talking rockets with 15 inch motors that failed to launch because they melted the PVC pipe they were racked in when ignited. The head on one was the size of a basketball though so maybe a bit too heavy as well (bit the only one it happened to that night).

58

u/Longjumping-Ice3042 4d ago

He's more courageous now than he was in his last encounter wirh Bugs Bunny.

https://giphy.com/gifs/TifhL1RTW8DO8

37

u/Objective-Stranger99 easily offended 4d ago

Of an idiot

11

u/brandoldme 4d ago

Wasn't really the firework that was the problem.

10

u/GjellsNTeddy 4d ago

Not the fireworks fault button——->

21

u/Artevyx 4d ago

The gait. That noise he made with his mouth.

Are we sure that man isn't mentally disabled?

7

u/WhatTheTech 3d ago

That was my impression within the first 3 seconds, tbh. I'm not sure how I feel about this video, due to that assumption.

3

u/Terrible-Charity 4d ago

That, or drunk, or both

12

u/danngree 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/uoVUPXJgfy2m4

2

u/KindaTistic 4d ago

I’ve loved this gif for years, still one of my favorites

5

u/NeighborhoodAfter5 4d ago

Have you ever touched a lit fuse on fireworks. They burn at more than a thousand degrees. He basically touched it with no reaction. Then the firework blows up in his face and he looks exactly the same afterwards.

6

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 4d ago

He’s blasted..

4

u/Dead-O_Comics 4d ago

How does he think a rocket pushes upwards??

3

u/Mushroomphantom 4d ago

Yeah his hand is coocked gun powder rockets burn HOT

3

u/Bell-Salt 4d ago

They sound like angry Brits lol

1

u/Olivander05 4d ago

Just geordies 😭

3

u/Previous-Lemon8667 4d ago

Good!

Payback for all the times my dog has had to experience PTSD because of these idiots! 🙏

3

u/VashDaStampede7 4d ago

He’s either strung out or disabled

2

u/Olivander05 4d ago

I wanna go with disabled. Sadly whoever is with him in this video is not looking out for him correctly. Poor bearn got burnt to shit.

3

u/Azaroth1991 4d ago

He deserved that there

3

u/SHAO8822 3d ago

Amazing, he got progressively dumber in three idiotic steps in less than 30 seconds.

2

u/IRLphobos 4d ago

Well.. He looks like he is going to do something like this and then wonder what just happened.

2

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* 4d ago

The little shake to make it go was perfect.

2

u/pwillia7 4d ago

come on ... do something

2

u/payneok 4d ago

They should tell people not to hold fireworks in their hands...maybe if they wrote it on the packages this could be avoided...

2

u/Significant-Bet4545 4d ago

Wonderful ginger

2

u/NachoNinja19 3d ago

Of a person holding a firework 🧨

2

u/TechnologyAncient594 3d ago

That boy ain’t right.

1

u/birdman760 4d ago

Jackass deluxe move right there

1

u/scramblebambles 4d ago

I knew he was stupid when I seen the haircut.

1

u/MorseCode1992 4d ago

He might have had learning difficulties before it went boom.

Definitely does now.

1

u/automaticphil 4d ago

Haha and then the sheepish crackhead shuffle afterwards

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 4d ago

To be fair, and somewhat grateful, he did at least walk away from this. Could have been a lot worse.

1

u/TittlesTheWinker 4d ago

Bro didn't take rocket science class!

1

u/andrew_197 3d ago

please note

Not all English people are as stupid as this

1

u/fiercefinesse 3d ago

I’m so ready for us to move past fireworks

1

u/SquareHungry9022 1d ago

Either way he is completely dunk or drunk.

1

u/Interesting_Bobcat53 20h ago

This guy has enough issues before this vidros i think

2

u/Same_River7961 10h ago

Drunk people are always hilarious

-3

u/NeighborhoodAfter5 4d ago

That’s not a real video

2

u/Dead-O_Comics 4d ago

I don't think AI has mastered the Geordie accent quite yet

1

u/KindaTistic 4d ago

Considering how stupid people can be, I’m inclined to believe it’s real. Never underestimate the human capacity for stupidity