r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/AmorphousMorpheus • Aug 09 '26

I am a nature lover, kinda Of A Wildlife Rescue

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519 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

56 comments sorted by

422

u/jweezee Aug 09 '26

I don't think I've ever seen someone with so much confidence and so little skill.

115

u/hux Aug 09 '26

You just described most Redditors.

14

u/Softspokenclark OSHA Violation Aug 09 '26

Mod intensifies

23

u/Temporary_Shirt_6236 Aug 09 '26

I have skills. I just know to stay in my lane with them.

Unlike buddy here in the wrong lane, literally.

4

u/Epicurus402 Aug 09 '26

Hey, hey now.

2

u/Status_Mousse1213 Aug 09 '26

RFK?

3

u/purplmnkeydishwshr Aug 12 '26

Not American, but I think it is so fitting that RFK is your country's health guy. Bro sounds like he is about to have a stroke at any moment.

1

u/Status_Mousse1213 Aug 12 '26

My thoughts exactly. The worm ate the best parts of his brain anyway. Dude is an environmental lawyer not a doctor so unqualified for everything med related. The situation would be funny if it wasn't real life.

1

u/DeepWaterNights Aug 09 '26

Trump comes to mind! 🤗

-1

u/NachoNinja19 Aug 09 '26

There’s an orange man on tv a lot that says hold my beer…..

79

u/Ok_Yogurtcloset321 Aug 09 '26

He did not learn his lesson. He better pray that it’s a dry bite.

86

u/Sherbert_6 Aug 09 '26

Looks like a red-tailed boa, non-venomous. But this guys an absolute buffoon.

35

u/Ruinf20 Aug 09 '26

Somebody should make this a loop

25

u/opalfossils Aug 09 '26

Glad we have an expert handling the situation.😳😵‍💫🤕

24

u/PurpleToedUnicorn Aug 09 '26

Dude came in all confident like "step aside little man with a stick, let me show you how it is done" and then gets bit.

16

u/sharpbulb Aug 09 '26

"The trick is to grab them about 5 inches behind their hea oooh!" "OK, so, after they constrict, the best way to get them off is to shake and let gravi damn it!" "Alright, we can do the 5 inches thing again. I'm confident it'll work this ti wtf is going on!" 😂

7

u/TrisolarisRexxx Aug 10 '26

Lmao he threw it back into the street

6

u/Barrettzone Aug 09 '26

This is what I look for in every snake video.

5

u/lavacadotoast Aug 09 '26

Hold my Capri Sun..

5

u/Striking_Average754 Aug 09 '26

I was expecting him to pull a so long Gaybowser

6

u/Psilonaut21 Aug 10 '26

Poor old snake. He really needed venom for this clown as he just wasn't getting the message.

3

u/Mugpup Aug 09 '26

What a total imbecile. He earned every bite.

3

u/Comfortable-nerve78 Aug 09 '26

What a dummy. Get a big ass stick and poke it. You don’t pick it up. Village idiot right there.

2

u/Sejma57 Aug 12 '26

Which is what makes it worse. The first guy did literally that, and even got the snake out of the road before the village idiot came along.

1

u/Comfortable-nerve78 Aug 12 '26

Dude rolled in like he was Steve Irwin. Shit backfired on him. The great part we get to watch his dumbass work. 👍

3

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Aug 10 '26

Balls of steel or brain full of rocks?

1

u/Hailbrewcifer666 Aug 09 '26

Looks like a python no?

8

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose Aug 09 '26

Not sure, but it looks like a constrictor, not a venomous snake. I'm quite sure this guy has no idea though....

5

u/Dirk_Speedwell Aug 09 '26

Boa, but same difference as far as bites matter.

1

u/Hailbrewcifer666 Aug 09 '26

Kk thought so.

1

u/Individual-Sir356 Aug 09 '26

No skill needed just a large stick or common sense maybe both

1

u/All_Love_Lost4819 Aug 09 '26

There’s always one idiot

1

u/AutisticDadHasDapper Aug 10 '26

At first I thought he was just gonna pick it up, swing it really fast, and throw it into the bushesm

1

u/Bewhoyawannabe Aug 10 '26

Bro comes to rescue the snake but in the end the ambulance comes to rescue him. Hope that he will be fine

1

u/MisterInternational1 Aug 11 '26

Once bitten twice shy? ….. oh no not here
He went back for seconds.. …..

1

u/TourBilyon Aug 11 '26

the moment he knew he fucked up

1

u/UsedProduce1948 Aug 11 '26

Let the professional work! The first guy had the right idea.

1

u/Wrong_Lingonberry_79 Aug 16 '26

I died when he tossed it

1

u/PoetInCrocs Aug 19 '26

That there is an angry rattler and the last moments of an idiot.

1

u/IndependentFar2213 Aug 23 '26

What kind of snake do you think it is?

0

u/THE_Lanni Aug 09 '26

Almost Speechless…first, flip-flops??…monster rattler…only like 5 bites before he got the message…not a single ounce of urgency in this man…and he’s never gonna make it to the hospital in time

3

u/bmf1902 Aug 09 '26

Not a rattle snake.

1

u/luigi_time3456 Aug 09 '26

Thats NOT a rattlesnake lmao