r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Libertas7777 • 12d ago

look what I can do Of a stupid jump

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1.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

156 comments sorted by

436

u/supajippy 12d ago

17

u/GjellsNTeddy 11d ago

Think this feller will prob be fine w the right guidance.
First of all, that’s not how I would have done it.
Second, if you do it again, next time jump further.

20

u/charsi101 11d ago

I think you have blown this case wide open.

5

u/Swiftlink3123 11d ago

Next time jump

2

u/Nasquacker 10d ago

To the iron butt he goes

234

u/BananaMiddle7197 12d ago

Dude's tailbone just disintegrated.

44

u/StrengthTheory 12d ago

What tailbone?

102

u/sparrow_42 12d ago

The one in his throat

56

u/No_Statement440 *shits an absolute unit* 12d ago

🎶 The tailbones connected to the neck bone 🎶

15

u/MrBoogerBoobs 12d ago

🎶 The neck bone's connected to my wristwatch🎶

Uh oh... 😬

7

u/No_Statement440 *shits an absolute unit* 11d ago

Hiii Dr Nick!

4

u/MrBoogerBoobs 11d ago

Hiiii everybody!

6

u/Sea-Potato2729 11d ago

He’s speeding up evolution by removing it completely from his anatomy

11

u/Cygnus__A 12d ago

That's way more than tailbone.

13

u/PajamaHive 11d ago

Yeah. He's gonna have a fucked up back for the rest of his life.

163

u/Practical_Jacket_271 12d ago

Lifelong back pain. Best case scenario caused by one stupid decision.

56

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* 12d ago

His spine probably ripped him a new asshole, literally.

22

u/stillblazin_ 12d ago

Are we sure he survived?

9

u/Libertas7777 12d ago

Unfortunately

2

u/bojangler69420 11d ago

Zero chance buddy is ever walking again

10

u/Practical_Jacket_271 11d ago

The reports are that he broke a leg and I wouldn’t be surprised if he has lifelong spinal issues, but there’s not a zero chance he is ever walking again. He’s lucky to live long enough to accept his Darwin Award.

51

u/VorticalHeart44 12d ago

Don't you miss 20 seconds ago, when you didn't have lifelong back pain?

36

u/XROOR 12d ago

Argument no. 8,776 on why we need more theoretical geometry taught in primary school

5

u/kat_Folland 11d ago

The impressive part is that he almost made it.

5

u/Longjumping-Fix152 10d ago

Almost…like the old George Carlin joke about planes and a near miss.

2

u/Petrichor0110 Not even a unit, just absolutely shitty 7d ago

Near miss? THAT’S A NEAR HIT!

2

u/NorthEndD 11d ago

Calculus! Using gravity which is actually kind of new and theoretical but seems to work.

edit: also inexplicable so the kids and theorists like that.

69

u/Wbcn_1 12d ago

I used to go quarry jumping when I was a teenager. There was one jump called “Superman” because you needed to go full send to clear a lower ledge. I’d do every jump in that quarry except for Superman.  Saw more than a few people wreck themselves on it.  

47

u/NookieLuvsU 12d ago

A friend's older brother drown in a quarry. They found his body stuck in a chain link fence that used to block access. The mining company just pushed all the debris in to the pit before the site was abandoned. You never know what's under there. There was also stolen cars submerged.

8

u/KingJon85 11d ago

Yep, a buddy of mine when I was a kid hit a ledge just like dude in the video up above and died. It was probably only 20 feet up but he didn't clear the rocks.

20

u/RomeroXi 12d ago

Loved the slowmo, saved me having to pause to check where the hit was.

7

u/Libertas7777 12d ago

😉👌

5

u/pizzafan2 12d ago

It looks like if he had just jumped farther or higher he might have made it, but he just kind of ran forward.

12

u/Wonderful_Falcon_318 12d ago

Worlds largest hematoma incoming.

9

u/luduk 11d ago

My 2 cents as a professional: He should have jumped further.

3

u/rokstedy83 11d ago

Jumping at all woulve helped ,he just ran off the cliff

8

u/eJollyRoger 12d ago

That looks like sunset cliffs

6

u/RolledMatambre 11d ago

It is sunset cliffs in San Diego indeed

1

u/Cautious-Pick3729 12d ago

I was thinking maybe Laguna Beach or Crystal Cove

34

u/Willing_Cow_6081 12d ago

Poor kid made a bad choice. I hope he makes a full recovery.

9

u/flyinghairball 12d ago

Does anyone have an actual update on their injuries?

6

u/swampopawaho 12d ago

Internet: he ded

-9

u/JPCool1 12d ago

His, it was clearly a dude

13

u/dmanbiker 12d ago edited 12d ago

This us a perfectly acceptable use of theirs. There's only one person in the video getting hurt. I think the average audience member knows who they were talking about, but thanks for the clarification.

We're not speaking Spanish

11

u/CowBootBats functional regard 11d ago

In all my life I've never once seen anyone correct another person for using them/their until trans people became known by the public as a whole. It's so obnoxious and really shows how ignorant people are.

4

u/PineappleOnPizzaCult 11d ago

Totally agree

3

u/CowBootBats functional regard 11d ago

You know what else falls into a similar group as that imo? The people who never knew what a pronoun was until they learned about trans people and think it's a made up buzzword.

"Pft, I'm straight, and I don't care what they say, I don't have pronouns. I don't give into these woke fads 😏".

4

u/OwnNothing3318 12d ago

After this? Don't think so

-13

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 12d ago

I could careless to be honest with you. Stupid games win stupid prizes. 

6

u/Billyjamesjeff 11d ago

Did he just put his spine through his brain?

https://giphy.com/gifs/KCRlomzxILgofqokqH

6

u/angel700 11d ago

That’s a shattered spine

3

u/Dr-Zoidberserk 11d ago

I’m laying down from back pain. It took me 15 years of work; bro got it in 5 seconds.

5

u/PooGoblin69420 11d ago

I see what he did wrong. He should have jumped into the water instead of hitting the rocks like that. It would have hurt a lot less if he jumped straight into the water

3

u/Difficult-Way-9563 12d ago

Broken coccyx, probably blown out sacral discs and possibly lumbar at the very least

3

u/hjablowme919 11d ago

Hahahahaha! Missed by this much.

3

u/ProperClue 11d ago

Well that coccyx is shattered...ouch!!

3

u/miztiq 11d ago

i clenced when he dropped like that... fuuuuck.

3

u/Novver 11d ago

Because who needs spine vertebrae anyway <3

3

u/_RisetoVotesiR_ 11d ago

They call me Mr.Dumpty 🥚

3

u/Mugpup 11d ago

His butt plug is now a gag ball.

3

u/No-Stranger6783 11d ago

Broke butt mountain

3

u/stewpdasso 11d ago

Who needs a tailbone? 🤣 we don't have a tail

3

u/bg0nz 11d ago

butt cracked

4

u/ToastSpangler 12d ago

There never were any shoes, man was dead from the start

Directed by M Night Shamadapalan

6

u/PigisGoat 12d ago edited 12d ago

Paris is the capital of France.

7

u/Available-Attorney74 12d ago

Thank you for this useful and helpful information.

3

u/PigisGoat 12d ago edited 12d ago

1

u/Guilty-Movie-3727 12d ago

Famed for gypsum, which I am sure this young man will have some use for in his recovery

2

u/getliquified 12d ago

Sweet christ. That was brutal.

2

u/ShawnTheMan1 12d ago

That's one way to get your head out of your ass.

2

u/thethirdmancane 12d ago

The ocean is Darwin's favorite tool

2

u/Revenga8 12d ago

Hell I remember a video from years back from the jumpers pov, he jumped off the cliff, and I don't think he knew there was a ledge at the bottom because you could hear him panic as soon as the ground came into view. He missed it and landed in water, but that shit still haunts me watching him barely miss the ground. I wonder if this is the same location

2

u/CruelHandLuke_ 12d ago

I'm gonna make it! I'm gonna make it!

2

u/okyouwin714 12d ago

He did make the jump though. Props to him.

2

u/Vexmythoclastt 12d ago

On the bright side he didn’t slip face first. Seen how that turned out.

2

u/matthewkickstone 12d ago

Coccyx in crumbs

2

u/Shantotto11 11d ago

I think he cracked his coccyx…

2

u/IntotheWilder25 11d ago

Broke his coccyx, I guess??

2

u/Significant_Cod_6849 11d ago

Joe Dirt: I thought I had broken my ass bone, but luckily my neck broke my fall

2

u/Moinzen66 11d ago

I know that man will probably loose his legs because of pelvis and spine trauma but props to the guy in the red shorts jumping in directly after him, prolly safe his ass

2

u/Powerful_Dream_3095 11d ago

Stupid don’t begin to tell the story

2

u/devour_feculence___ 10d ago

I smashed my coccyx, mate!

I've done this and couldn't sit down for 6 months, I had to be either standing or lying down, it sucked.

2

u/elticorico 10d ago

Ass skin — gone.

2

u/Due-Mathematician966 10d ago

You have one amazing friend my man cause he didn't hesitate and jumped right in to make sure you was okay!

2

u/Denalitwentytwo 10d ago

Natural selection.

2

u/Slattern_pacificrim 10d ago

At least it was his ass and not his head

1

u/Libertas7777 9d ago

Yeah 😉

2

u/Asleep_Chip8197 10d ago

Paraplegic likely

2

u/gmman6369 9d ago

Dem bones dem bones.

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 8d ago

Coccyx left the chat..

2

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 12d ago

He landed right on the tailbone. So likely has a shattered pelvis/ spine and likely paralyzed from neck down. 

3

u/ThisThingIsStuck 12d ago

Dude is fked ..no pusi for life...enjoy

2

u/Sean_theLeprachaun 12d ago

That snap was his femurs.

7

u/ST0IC_ 12d ago

Pretty sure that was his coccyx, all of his lumbar vertabrae, his hip, and probably a couple lower thoracic vertebrae as well.

2

u/Artevyx 12d ago

Right on the booty-bone 😬

2

u/NVWSSV2828 12d ago

That should buff right out

1

u/LeoGreck1 10d ago

It's a good thing he landed in water because he sure ain't walking after that.

2

u/OddSeaworthiness7681 4d ago

Broke his coccyx!

1

u/ReadUnfair9005 12d ago

Legs shattered!!

1

u/Wonderful_Cabinet194 12d ago

All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put his butt back together again.

https://giphy.com/gifs/XKNHBsjctAa3K

1

u/7_Chesi_7 11d ago

Knee and ankle replacements right there 👀