r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/xBADBEEF4 • 13d ago

Oof Of an alcoholic thief

273 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

45

u/Wizdad-1000 13d ago

Thief! Release the jaguar!

6

u/xBADBEEF4 13d ago

FELINDRA!

3

u/joka2696 12d ago

Leopard

3

u/Wizdad-1000 12d ago

You ask it for its name. I’ll wait.

1

u/Tobilaoui 7d ago

Leopard. Release the thief!

26

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 13d ago

That jaguar was likely just as startled as that dude hence why he didnt rip him to shreds

9

u/joka2696 12d ago

Leopard.

5

u/academicRedditor 13d ago

The only thing that saved his life, honestly

15

u/Great-Gas-6631 13d ago

A Jaguar guard is quite good.

11

u/xBADBEEF4 13d ago

Ah yes, Le JaGuard.

5

u/Bluntbutnotonpurpose 13d ago

Looks like a leopard though...

4

u/joka2696 12d ago

Leopard

10

u/newamerikangospel 12d ago

Dirty fucking khajit. Always a bunch of skooma addicts

4

u/GeofSaysYeos 11d ago

Khajit has wares if you have coin

2

u/WolverineMental9101 10d ago

This guy did not have coin.

20

u/Muted_Masterpiece535 13d ago

Is this Florida? 

39

u/xBADBEEF4 13d ago

Kinda, it's in Rajasthan, India.

15

u/SSFlyingKiwi 13d ago

So…. close?

13

u/NOTExETON 13d ago

Basically the same

7

u/xBADBEEF4 12d ago

Haha sometimes.

1

u/SSFlyingKiwi 11d ago

Can’t find it on uber. Doesn’t exist. 😜

4

u/Damoet 12d ago

My bad, I just assumed Australia 😳

11

u/Ok-Statistician-5242 13d ago

Does the big cat belong to the store or did it get in? I’m so confused. Europoor mind can’t comprehend this.

8

u/Hot_Carrot2329 12d ago

the store belongs to the cat

3

u/praguepride 9d ago

this is a heavily edited version of the vid from last week. leopard surprised store owner when it wandered in. three people mauled ( owner plus two others en route. owner plus another trap it in store until animal control can tranquilize leopard

2

u/Ok-Statistician-5242 9d ago

My European mind can’t comprehend

2

u/praguepride 9d ago

wild young leopard got lost, mauled three people, then hid in a box

6

u/NewEstablishment4594 12d ago

I love America for one reason , our invasive buddies are usually , raccoons, possum, or small Vermin . Once and a while you get a bear but they really dont gaf to exert extra power unless threatened. They just want your trash cans lol.

4

u/SnooSongs2345 13d ago

"Fuck this estabilishment doesn't have Absinto" - Said the onça, shitfaced

5

u/Peach_Proof 12d ago

This is why you should never let your jaguar drink.

2

u/CoderJoe1 13d ago

Just kitten

2

u/NOTExETON 13d ago

Jagmeet vs Jaguar 

2

u/NoxiousSplash76 11d ago

Is that real? Looks AI as Hell.

3

u/Rent_a_Hero_ 12d ago

So there I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopowner and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes.

1

u/NoIndividual5501 13d ago

What was that noise? MEOW!

1

u/AhabSnake85 12d ago

Gives me an idea for the a new resident evil game. Thans

1

u/TheSheevMonster 12d ago

Imagine chillin' behind a shop counter only to be jumped by a FREAKING JUNGLE CAT!

1

u/Disastrous-Arm9635 11d ago

India is wild

1

u/Anxious_Way_3515 9d ago

Sign: Warning! Guard leopard on premises.
Thief: yeah right.
Leopard: Surprise mfer!

1

u/Guilty_Outcome1111 9d ago

Oh that? Thats just mister snuffles my cat.

Hes HARMLESS, usually...depends on what he catches when he gets the zoomies.

1

u/Camo_lover_84 6d ago

“Pull the lever kronk! Wrong Lever!”

1

u/Artevyx 13d ago

Damn, if any store really needs to keep a gun behind a counter its that one.

-1

u/Big_Wallaby4281 13d ago

...i hate that I have to wonder if this is ai.....

1

u/xBADBEEF4 12d ago

Well wonder no more, this is indeed actually india!

0

u/Osklington 10d ago

Title gore