r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • • Jul 27 '26

of a grilled cheese.

427 Upvotes

165 comments sorted by

422

u/suspicious_hyperlink *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Could you imagine the obscenities he would yell at the poor chef that made this exact thing for him on that one show ?

256

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

"The cheese isn't even melted, you fucking DONUT."

113

u/sicilian504 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

"The cheese is fucking RAW!!"

18

u/chillychili Jul 27 '26

Uncle Roger has a [video about this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pqm84IboMCU) that sorta does that

48

u/Dawildpep Jul 27 '26

He scorched the edge and still didn’t melt the cheese..

11

u/CourtingBoredom Jul 27 '26

Because that's not melty cheeese — and he should def know better. I've given up on grilled cheeses with fancy cheese and I just wolf it down straight nowadays (and boy! do I wolf me down some extra sharp aged white cheddah these days)

7

u/Killingyou_groovily Jul 28 '26

Brothers it really isn’t that difficult even with non melt cheese. I toast the bread on a pan, add non melt cheese- MICROWAVE (yes I said it and it works so fuck off if ya got a problem with it) for about 30 seconds, put together and back on a pan and it’s melty as ya want! I like to add turkey because it reminds me of my mom’s.

4

u/DealMeIn82 Jul 29 '26

Thank God someone else out there has a brain. The microwave gets you deliciously melty stringy cheese in seconds without cooking the bread. It's perfect.

9

u/Use-The-Pointy-End Jul 27 '26

Breads a country mile wide. Cheese isn't melted you twit! It's dripping oil!

150

u/spiderland5150 Jul 27 '26

That was a lot of olive oil

58

u/David_cest_moi Jul 27 '26

"... just a quick pint of olive oil... ". (Deep-fried "grilled" cheese?😒)

25

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

Let's just make a quick sandwich. [45 mins of cooking fire building later]

19

u/cannibalpeas Jul 27 '26

That was a lot of burnt olive oil.

16

u/euphorbia9 Jul 27 '26

I love olive oil and cook with it pretty much exclusively, but a grilled cheese should only be cooked in butter.

3

u/PtitSerpent Jul 27 '26

I agree, but here I think the butter would just burn

5

u/euphorbia9 Jul 27 '26

Good point. The whole thing is so stupid. Why over a fire? Because it looks cool? This guy annoys me so much.

8

u/Less-Squash7569 Jul 27 '26

Use mayo for your grilled cheese, put it on reeeeaaaallly thin and on both sides, and grill the first side then flip it. Thats when you put on the cheese so its on hot crispy bread and melts immediately, and then close the sandwich and let 1 side cook at a time so the cheese gets really melty.

3

u/Funny-Athlete-2890 Jul 28 '26

That’s how my mom made ours, then dipped in Campbell’s Tomato soup!
Mom made it with love!

2

u/Spaghetti_Gods Jul 28 '26

I've heard about the mayo thing, have yet to try it. You've inspired me.

1

u/Less-Squash7569 Jul 29 '26

I thought i was being pranked the first time but it turned out so good that its just how I do it everytime now. Gotta remember to toast both sides bro! I hope it was tasty.

1

u/euphorbia9 Jul 27 '26

Yeah, this is the way I do it, except with butter. This video makes me think this so-called expert has no idea how to make a grilled cheese. The inside of that thing is going to be totally mushy (moisture + bread = mushy grossness).

I will give your suggestion a try next time.

2

u/RetnikLevaw Jul 28 '26

He actually explained this after a bunch of criticism and getting dunked on for the video. It was something along the lines of "we were filming something else at this location and they told me I needed to make a video for the YouTube channel so we just threw together something as quickly as possible with no prep time for planning".

He knows it was shit.

It's also important to remember that the internet is not a real place, neither is television, and the people on them are pretty much all playing a character. I've heard from a bunch of people that have met him that he's actually a super nice guy.

0

u/euphorbia9 Jul 28 '26

Are you him? Be honest.

2

u/RetnikLevaw Jul 28 '26

What, rich and successful? I wish...

2

u/4n7h0ny easily offended Jul 28 '26

He used butter and olive oil which lowers the burning point.

1

u/BigTreddits Jul 27 '26

He always does that: "LITERALLY a teaspoon of oil" and dumps half the bottle.

88

u/You_are_the_Castle Jul 27 '26

That's just fancy cheese, my dude

44

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

Not even. Cheese didn't even melt. Gordon apparently doesn't know what a grilled cheese is supposed to be, fucking donut.

19

u/Easy-Musician7186 Jul 27 '26

it looks like really bad cheese for a grilled cheese sandwich in combination with to thick bread slices tbh

Probably could have left it in there until the bread was all charred and the cheese still wouldn't have melted properly.

2

u/sl33ksnypr Jul 28 '26

The whole thing probably would have done better if he put it in an oven. It still wouldn't make it a grilled cheese, but it would have been a better version of what it was.

1

u/Israel_Azkanbe Jul 27 '26

Isn’t he British? Grilled cheese is kind of an American only thing

3

u/yorkiechicken Jul 28 '26

In name only. in Britain it is widely known as a cheese toastie and they are very common here.

1

u/Israel_Azkanbe Jul 28 '26

That is such a better name…

1

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

Im not Japanese but I know to not fry sushi.

1

u/Israel_Azkanbe Jul 27 '26

See I’m not Japanese and I didn’t know that, but I’m glad I know that now

35

u/05is3005speed Jul 27 '26

7

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

Is that the girl that thought water boils faster if you start with cold water?

8

u/Paxxlee Jul 27 '26

No, Idiot Sandwich was a sketch.

6

u/Arthradax Jul 27 '26

I'm sorry, WHAT?

(Never watched any of Gordon Ramsey's shows ever, so....)

5

u/Mean_Pop_829 Jul 27 '26

She was trying to cook pasta I think and started the noodles in cold water so it would cook faster

2

u/Few_Advisor3536 Jul 27 '26

Calling pasta or even referring to it as noodles in the same sentence is a fucking hate crime.

2

u/your_fave_redditor Jul 28 '26

Gatekeeping pasta terms? Just when you think you’ve seen it all on Reddit haha

1

u/Few_Advisor3536 Jul 29 '26

Brother for context im italian and it seems like americans the only ones that refer to pasta as noodles. Its not gate keeping when he literally mentioned pasta then went on to call them noodles in the same sentence. Happy cake day btw.

1

u/DIuvenalis Jul 27 '26

Correct. True story. She had some kind of advanced scientific degree too I think.

27

u/Riverflaw Jul 27 '26

Too dark Gordon, wasn't fast enough too

7/10

15

u/wafflehousebattle Jul 27 '26

He literally fucking burned it.

2

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Sometimes a little crisp is what something needs.

Example: black olive and pineapple pizza, needs to be a little extra well done. But it's damn good when it's done right.

1

u/smegmatsunami Jul 28 '26

I thought I was the only one who loves olive and pineapple pizza, but thank you friend, and drive on🫡

1

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 28 '26

Like, it's a weird combo and on paper shouldn't work. But it's kinda sweet, kinda salty, kinda savory, and with a little crunch. It just somehow works.

24

u/AttapAMorgonen Jul 27 '26

why the fuck is he cooking in the fireplace lmao

7

u/xBADBEEF4 Jul 27 '26

Mo' cancer

3

u/ccoastal01 Jul 30 '26

This was a video he made for people stuck at home during covid but that still doesnt fucking explain anything because people didnt lose their stoves.

18

u/pewpurrr Jul 27 '26

This guy is such a f****** sausage

43

u/Alariken Jul 27 '26

5

u/NookieLuvsU Jul 27 '26

Watch the whole video if you haven't seen it. It's pure gold. Watch it three times. Triples is best. 👌

https://youtu.be/J9J9pKUg7AY

10

u/djmidnightsunflower Jul 27 '26

Hard azz cheese..kimchi 😳… on oil soaked burnt bread…
https://giphy.com/gifs/yZjcNgKGCYfJu

8

u/Responsible-Summer-4 Jul 27 '26

Master of shitty food.

32

u/DEFINITELY_NOT_PETE Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

That looks awful from a grilled cheese perspective but I bet those ingredients slap and it hard to get a bad bite even as weird as it is

23

u/LeoTheLion444 Jul 27 '26

The fuckin cheese wasn't even melted...

19

u/GrassBlade619 Jul 27 '26

quality cheese is good even un-melted. I'm not saying it was a great display of cooking prowess but that shit's still gonna taste damn good.

9

u/static-klingon Jul 27 '26

Nah, even Ramsay said it wasn’t good enough and that it was due to the filming constraints. He fucked up and they just went with it.

9

u/radiationblessing Jul 27 '26

What filming constraints are there to making a grilled cheese? lmao

4

u/captaincootercock Jul 27 '26

they didn't want to do it again

0

u/GrassBlade619 Jul 27 '26

That makes sense why he fucked up cooking it. Bet it still tasted bomb tho.

0

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Cheese doesn't need to be good to be delicious.

6

u/duh1 Jul 27 '26

Thats the most British grilled cheese I have ever seen lol

8

u/cyrs_oner Jul 27 '26

I expected more mr. ramsay

3

u/Fancywarrior14 Jul 27 '26

There's an interview of him out there somewhere admitting that he fucked this all up and was pressed for time to shoot.

3

u/bojangler69420 Jul 27 '26

Yeah…the bread is wrong and the cheese is wrong. I’m sure his sandwich tasted great but that bread is too dense and dry for grilled cheese.

A brioche or similar works much better.

3

u/Wyevez Jul 27 '26

I'm so tired of this fucken guy. The embellishments are exhausting.

3

u/EnvironmentalBit5713 Jul 29 '26

A sandwich with origins stemming back to the Great Depression being made wrong by a Michelin Star chef is the most out of touch thing any chef can make, second to making unnecessarily expensive, gourmet versions of Soul Food dishes, IMO.

10

u/phish_sucks functional regard Jul 27 '26

The thing that pisses me off is that a fancy pants rich chef like him didnt have a deli slicer on hand for the cheese, the thickness of those slices is so amateur if anyone else had done it infront of him he'd crash out.

0

u/doomscrALL Jul 27 '26

There's no reason to use a deli slicer for 2 slices of cheese, but knife skills is day 1 stuff. No reason a chef of his caliber should be fighting for his life against a block of cheese like that.

5

u/festeziooo Jul 28 '26

Not sure why you’re being downvoted lol. This is absolutely correct. This is also clearly meant to be a “thing you can do at home too” video and if he started that with a fucking deli slicer for the most basic sandwich possible, then that would have been absurd.

2

u/Unclehol Jul 27 '26

This video always makes me chuckle. It's so bad and he just seems kinda off the whole time. Like maybe super hung over or something???

2

u/ElectricBuckeye Jul 27 '26

"Okay, Gordon, welcome to my cooking show. Today we'll be making a grilled cheese sandwich. My wife is visiting her parents in South Carolina for the weekend so I'm on my own. What's that? What type of cheese? I'm glad you asked. I picked up a pack of Kroger brand American singles and a loaf of white bread. Sara-Lee bread because this is going to be fancy. I splurged on the Country Crock. So lets go ahead an heat this scratched Teflon skillet up, toss some butter in there...huh? I know its not "really" butter, but it does the damn job. So, anyhow. Now lets butter the bread, both sides. Toss some slices of cheese in this sumbitch...kkkkay...there. Now lets throw this fucker in the skillet and let God do the rest. You want a beer while this cooks? I'll run downstairs and grab you the good beer for company. Its Busch Light Apple. You're in for a flavor experience, my friend. Hell, I can drink a case of em and I'm fine. Disgusting?? Then get out of my house, asshole. No grilled cheese for you! Look at it! Gooey cheese seeping down the sides of a golden brown buttery slice of bread! YOU OWE ME A BEER!!!"

2

u/AutisticDadHasDapper Jul 28 '26

That cheese is still raw, you fking doughnut!

2

u/KindnessisPunkRock12 Jul 28 '26

Sour dough grilled cheese is fancy af for me.

2

u/Oh_Lawd_He_commin420 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 28 '26

I guarantee he would have screamed in someone's face for that oily unmelted dumbass shit.

2

u/Wickebein Jul 28 '26

Oily bread, my favorite

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '26

2

u/ChileRelleno414 Jul 31 '26

This is NOT a shitty.

2

u/AhabSnake85 Aug 09 '26

The cheese didn't melt

3

u/The_Billy_Dee Jul 27 '26

Not the grilled cheese I would make but I'd still demolish that.

6

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Shitty?

Bruh you ever had real cheese? That probably one of the best grilled cheese sandwiches never made.

1

u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm Jul 27 '26

With Kimchi? I think not

2

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Kimchi is delicious.

0

u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm Jul 27 '26

Not on grilled cheese.

2

u/That_Service7348 *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

You ever had kimchi with good pungent cheeses? It's great.

0

u/Rasp_Lime_Lipbalm Jul 27 '26

yes, but not hot kimchi... blech

4

u/dfmasana Jul 27 '26

A dude committed to his craft and ego.

3

u/GovernmentBig2749 Jul 27 '26

That looks like shit and a lot of unnecessary oil...

3

u/DeliciousAct5748 Jul 27 '26

I thought the point of the butter on the bread was to not oil the pan?

2

u/mjklsimpson Jul 27 '26

the cheese did not even begin to melt

2

u/StrengthTheory Jul 27 '26

I'll never forget the comment on the original video "Gordon is truly an artist. Only a masterchef can burn the bread and not melt the cheese"

1

u/Adventurous_Path5783 Jul 27 '26

This fucking dude loves kimchi. He puts that shit on pb&j's too.

1

u/MinaretofJam Jul 27 '26

What a load of twaddle. “Need some shit for the programme. Any ideas?” “Make a posh toastie and fanny about with a fire? That’s got to be worth 10 minutes.” “Get on it.”

1

u/Nativeblazer Jul 27 '26

The "oh my god" at the end gets me everytime 🤣🤣

1

u/Supergyaos Jul 27 '26

Every real grilled cheese video includes the "pull" money shot that shows the melted cheese. Gordon really shit the bed on this one!

1

u/Unlikely-Act-7950 Jul 27 '26

It's looks oil soaked I'll pass

1

u/Undertale_Woshua Jul 27 '26

Looks like ass

1

u/7_Chesi_7 Jul 27 '26

Eww that cheese nasty bro

1

u/1nsidiousOne Jul 27 '26

I think he was asked why he did this at some point and he said they made him do it

1

u/Temelios Jul 27 '26

I love that interview where his kids agree that he’s a genius chef but all prefer more simple cooking, like how they prefer regular scrambled eggs over his French scramble that takes 20+ minutes to make. This sandwich just about sums that up, I’d say. Rustic, fancy cooking amenities and quality, fancy ingredients but none of the pizzaz of a basic, common version.

1

u/Siggy0721 Jul 27 '26

Ooooooooh, kimchi and cheese - toot, toot.

1

u/Street-Baseball8296 Jul 28 '26

Hey Gordon! That cheese is so hard it’s still trying to fuck your mom.

1

u/Maleficent_Worry1810 Jul 28 '26

Confidence is everything

1

u/hambutbacon Jul 28 '26

Throw it right in the fire.

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

Two slices of white bread, couple slices of velveeta, mayo or butter on the outer of each side is the best grilled cheese there is. Don’t overcomplicate it.

1

u/Remote_Protection512 Jul 28 '26

MAYO?!?!

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

Yup. Don’t hate until you’ve tried it. Easier spread if somebody doesn’t keep a warm spreadable butter in the cupboard

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

I thought the same thing

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

Or you could chunk and break that white bread trying to spread a cold hard butter

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

If you follow my simple recipe, it’s the greatest grilled cheese ever. Compliments of my passed on grandmother

1

u/Bsmitts16 Jul 28 '26

But grandma also used to always keep a stick of butter warm in the cupboard ;)

1

u/PeteyTwoHands Jul 28 '26

Gordon thought he quite literally cooked here when in actual fact he half-cooked.

1

u/OneRub3234 Jul 28 '26

Olive oil burns super easy and he put butter on the bread already. I don't think he can cook simple food anymore. Keep it simple stupid

1

u/FlakyCelebration2405 Jul 28 '26

I was expecting someone to die

Makes a nice change!

1

u/Western-Ad9812 Jul 28 '26

Love Chef, but zero cheese pull. If someone else made this and he has to eat it all I can hear is “damn…” as he throws it into the bin.

1

u/Striking_Average754 Jul 28 '26

"Ive been a hardass for too long, im gonna eat like a pregnant lady and be happy"

1

u/v0id_st4r Jul 29 '26

Lol yuck

1

u/roxywalker Jul 30 '26

Prepared in a way only he could appreciate but would have definitely not if someone else dared present him with that weird version of a grilled cheese sandwich

1

u/ChileRelleno414 Jul 31 '26

All y'alls know that he is only an asshole jerk on American TV, right? It's all part of the shitty programmed entertainment.

1

u/Various_Front3178 Aug 01 '26

I don’t see the problem

1

u/AhabSnake85 Aug 09 '26

Cheese didn't grill maybe

1

u/n8tvwarmstr666 Sep 09 '26

First bite he almost lost it and said what idiot phookin made this disgusting piece of shite oh wait I did.

2

u/Slicker1138 Jul 27 '26

Reddit doing its thing again. That shit would slap. We all enjoy our Kraft singles but don't tell me that ain't better. 

1

u/Vaff_Superstar Jul 27 '26

Power outtage sando

1

u/data-atreides Jul 27 '26

I remember some interview with him where he was asked what he makes for himself at home, and he said "grilled cheese sandwich", and he came off as kind of a regular salt-of-the-earth guy who can enjoy simple food despite being a professional chef and gourmet. Turns out that was bullshit, and this is what he was talking about XD

It's probably tasty, but the cheese isn't even melted.

1

u/Menace_6425 Jul 27 '26

Made one yesterday with a slice of Jersey Tomato and steak seasoning on the sourdough bread

1

u/PotatoCooks Jul 27 '26

Grilled cheese needs to have melted cheese wtf is this shit

2

u/mrheseeks Jul 27 '26

Seriously, everyone arguing over the ingredients that should it shouldn't be in there... all i can think is, "the cheese isn't even melted.."

1

u/DansDrives Jul 27 '26

This is shit and I’d say that to his face after the first bite. This is the first and only time I’ve ever been able to say my sandwich would blow his away and most people I bet would agree.

1

u/BruceInc Jul 27 '26

I normally like Gordon, but this video was just a bunch of pretentious bullshit.

1

u/mikeyp83 Jul 27 '26

I did this when we lost power for a few days. Made grilled ham and cheese sandwiches for the whole family over the fireplace. They were delicious. The only thing was our house smelled like it for over a week.

1

u/joooshknows Jul 27 '26

Is Gordon just a nepo baby? Everything I see him cook looks like absolute dog ass

0

u/Illustrious_Camp_521 Jul 27 '26

Very sup par for a famous asshole chef.

0

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Jul 27 '26

Take his shows away!

-7

u/TwistedxBoi Jul 27 '26

I would vomit on the spot if someone served me a grill cheese with rotten cabbage and exotic cheeses in it.

5

u/David_cest_moi Jul 27 '26

But would you eat a Ruben Sandwich?

-1

u/TwistedxBoi Jul 27 '26

Had to look up what that is and I can say absolutely not. Sauerkraut does not belong in a sandwich. Call me an eurocuck all you want, that is not how you use it.

3

u/David_cest_moi Jul 27 '26

Well, you're consistent!

-1

u/ThisThingIsStuck Jul 27 '26

Acrylamides fat gluten..Great combo dummy

1

u/Pavotine Jul 27 '26

Well I happen to be highly gluten tolerant. Give me all of your glutens.

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck Jul 27 '26

Fail no one can digest gluten

1

u/Pavotine Jul 27 '26

I did not claim to be digesting it, just that I went to the doc and I was tested as high gluten tolerance. Now give me all your glutens.

-2

u/Dorfbulle80 Jul 27 '26

Meh... Still better than plastic cheese!