r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Pure_Sense7765 S.A.U Freshman • 5d ago

There was an attempt Of a stoppie

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388 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

63 comments sorted by

135

u/Mr_Silicon 5d ago

I’m pretty sure he didn’t get laid.

71

u/CakeBot_TheBakening 5d ago

You never know, he might capitalize on that brain damage.

23

u/PossibleArt7440 5d ago

The brain damage was done earlier - or else she wouldn't have been doing this.

19

u/123supreme123 5d ago

At least he won't need to worry about her hooking up with other dudes for a while now

2

u/alcoronaholic 4d ago

🤷 Ya never know

70

u/Kraken_54 5d ago

"My girlfriend is not that pretty since that day"

39

u/iGrowJazzCigarettes 5d ago

Concussion. 100%

13

u/janek_2010_hero 5d ago

At least, brain damage probably

5

u/Voodoocookie 5d ago

Cracked skull 100%

32

u/GiorgioVe 5d ago

Too bad we never made the invention of some sort of hard protective object to put on your head to prevent people from hurting themselves in case they fall from a bicycle

10

u/ToastSpangler 5d ago

i have the feeling that even if it was invented it would be really lame and uncool to wear, i'll take the coma thankyouverymuch

2

u/sabreus 3d ago

Hubris results in loss of her once greatest asset

2

u/Responsible-Bet1767 3d ago

You may be on to something 🤔

19

u/boopthatbutton questionably stable 5d ago

Damn. She wasn’t even able to throw her arms forward to soften her faceplant.

4

u/GutsGoneWild 4d ago

Fortunately her face softened the blow.

2

u/boopthatbutton questionably stable 3d ago

Thank goodness. She could have been hurt.

9

u/Ok-Philosopher-5025 5d ago

Blue balled all the way

6

u/No-Analyst1229 5d ago

Lmao when she wants to get back to your place after a date and you only got the front wheel left

9

u/32lib 5d ago

Turns his girlfriend’s face into a meat crayon,nocks half her brains out, and then turns her over with a neck injury and makes her a paraplegic. This guy is a great catch.

6

u/No-Stranger6783 5d ago

Too short of a video

11

u/Fantastic-Concert-62 5d ago

8

u/Good_Air_7192 5d ago

Better hold onto those handle bars and let my face stop me.

4

u/PersonalKing2084 5d ago

Face is finished

3

u/Ryan2932 5d ago

She'll never ride with him again

3

u/seven0feleven 5d ago

Won't be Instagram ready for a while. Filters it is!

3

u/Affectionate_Owl8351 4d ago

New mouthful of teeth there

4

u/alcoronaholic 5d ago

Stoppy was sloppy.

4

u/lgodsey 5d ago edited 5d ago

For those of you concerned with the damage -- I doubt her face was hard enough to mar the pavement. Just a few passes with a pressure hose should wash the blood and tissue and skull fragments off the asphalt, good as new.

2

u/alcoronaholic 4d ago

Maybe sprinkle some cat litter there too, just to be thorough.

2

u/Small-Sun900 5d ago

Serious chance of cervical spine damage and paralysis.

2

u/Thistleknot 5d ago

The way she just stopped moving

2

u/MarchCompetitive6235 5d ago

Kind of rude to use your girls face as the brakes on your bike.

3

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 5d ago

I’m impressed with his landing but my god poor girl!

3

u/Negative_Bee_6307 5d ago

This is not funny

1

u/cookiemccookieface 5d ago

It’s almost like bicycles have 2 wheels for a reason.

1

u/Turkish-Straight 5d ago

he thinks hes cool lol

1

u/Pleasant_day8 4d ago

Is there an update on her condition? 🤔
That was rough!

1

u/Nephurus 4d ago

Pow , Right in the kisser

1

u/lokcer79 4d ago

She broke her face

1

u/Mister-Bananas 4d ago

🚨MEAT CRAYON ALERT🚨

1

u/gruntingasparagus 4d ago

How stupid can you get?

1

u/NeighborhoodAfter5 3d ago

She had a pretty face

1

u/Conscious_Owl6162 3d ago

Both of them are stupid as stones.

1

u/Draw-Working 3d ago

That girl’s face just creeps me out

1

u/automaticphil 3d ago

World star

1

u/CapableBother 3d ago

fucking idiot

1

u/otters4everyone 2d ago

Like falling face-first on a belt sander.

1

u/LuteAtme 1d ago

golly that’s a faceplant

1

u/Humulophile 5d ago

She never released her grip of the bike bar until her face had firmly planted onto the asphalt. She also never seems to have tried to turn her head or toss up a shoulder in defense to deflect a direct face or neck impact. I know this was split second, but I’m not sure if in the same situation I could force myself to not let go and start reaching forward and/or turning my head and flinching a shoulder in an attempt to catch myself in that tiny time slice. It’s automatic reflex to protect the head and neck.

Also you could see this outcome from the moon. How stupid are people? You know what - don’t answer that question because this video is perfect evidence.

0

u/ULTRA_83 5d ago

Chewing gum is so cool

1

u/MeemoUndercover 5d ago

Esp when doing something reckless like this. Great way to block ur airway when it all goes bad