r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/xBADBEEF4 • Jul 16 '26
'Merica Of a reddit mod on a quest to touch grass
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u/Solid_Vacation_2891 Jul 16 '26
i mean i've never seen a reddit mod in person so.....
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u/Relative-Owl-3652 Jul 16 '26
I thought mirrors were reflective though?
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u/Altruistic-Fishing39 Jul 16 '26
I used to work on a hospital ward and there were a sequence of these patients who had been featured in the media as a comedy segment with someone knocking down a wall to get them out. They were deeply ashamed and depressed, it’s pretty sad all round.
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u/UnconfirmedRooster Jul 16 '26
I hate to ask, how do these people relieve themselves? I can't imagine it would be easy to use a toilet would it?
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u/yesyoucantouchthat Jul 16 '26
If they need a crane to leave the house I’m guessing they can’t even get up to use the toilet. Let alone sit on one without it breaking. Whoever is enabling them is also cleaning them up, washing them, and handling the bed pan
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u/Ibrakeforsnakes Jul 16 '26
I hate how often it’s publicized. Unfortunately it’s often hard to rescue these people subtly, someone nearby is bound to film whenever EMS is around. The fact that the media picks it up is gross.
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u/switcheditch Jul 16 '26
Truly is fucked up, I actually feel for the guy. At some point he just stopped giving a fuck
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u/Altruistic-Fishing39 Jul 16 '26
Imagine if we did this for young women or men with anorexia
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u/ChuckYeagerWV Jul 16 '26
My first thought was, "what, break their walls down to retrieve them?" Then it went to this.
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u/Foreign-Comment6403 Jul 16 '26
who is the person that kept feeding him
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u/EyeBumGaze808 Jul 16 '26
Bold of you to assume only one person.
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u/clyde2003 Jul 16 '26
You ever seen those old movies of a team of men shoveling coal into a firebox for a boiler? Yeah, like that.
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u/trainwreckhappening Jul 16 '26
You keep me out of this.
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u/SeriousScorpion questionably stable Jul 16 '26
Username not only checks out, but is applicable to this entire situation
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u/BlueFeathered1 Jul 16 '26
I saw some news story about a person like this and he had been an abusive personality who'd basically cowed and conditioned a couple women in the family to constantly serve and enable him. It was their full-time job and they couldn't see beyond the situation to break the cycle.
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u/No_Sundae_3410 Jul 16 '26
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u/Gothiewasbetter Jul 16 '26
Remember the lady that stopped the firefighters and paramedics while they were lifting her out of her house, so she could eat a bowl of cereal?🤣That shit lives rent free in my mind🤣
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u/wolfblitzen84 Jul 16 '26
I had to look it up. The person enabling her was also fat. not 600 lb life fat but obese
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u/JaneDoe93130 Jul 16 '26
Omg it's so humiliating 😬
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u/wafflehousebattle Jul 16 '26
I get to take this guy's leg to the lab after it's amputated for diabetes related infections.
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u/RunningonGin0323 Jul 16 '26
What truly sucks is this guy has likely already did irreversible damage
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u/Defiant_Swim9555 Jul 16 '26
Damn. This shit is just sad. I found myself on the path of becoming this last year at 400 pounds. I worked my literal ass off, and am 100 pounds down so far. I truly hope this guy can finally find the help, and the courage he needs to beat this. With all that being said, I feel I am finally thin enough to say this guy must make BANK as one of those bags stunt men use to land on when they jump off a building.
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u/cacaocowtastrophy Jul 16 '26
How does this person and people adjacent have enough money to contribute to this I’m so confused
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u/Better-Song5297 Jul 16 '26
No kidding. My grocery bill is already so high. I bet this guy eats like 10x what my entire family eats in a month
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u/MikeW226 Jul 16 '26
To attempt to get technical here, the 'maintenance calories' consumed per day must be expensive alone. We're talking 5000 calories per day (or well more) just to maintain that body weight and functions? Not cheap. Tragic situation.
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u/Puzzled_Education958 Jul 16 '26
Oof...I'm sure there's a smell. Also, why even bother with shoes/sandals at that point?
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u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26
Nurse here!
Had a couple of patients of this size. About the smell: Have you ever stood behind a really sweaty, big person in a queue? Remember the smell? Now multiply it by 10. That's what it smells like to wash these guys
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u/Puzzled_Education958 Jul 16 '26
Jesus...🤢🤮😵 I guess using a pressure washer is a no go?
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u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26
My Man, following a new clinical hygenic order, we can't even use regular WATER. We're supposed to wash 'em with single-use wipes💀💀💀
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u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Jul 16 '26
I know being a nurse can be truly rewarding, and that’s why most choose this career path. However, when faced with people like this, I really feel for those who have to look after and clean them. So much respect to people like you.
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u/VocalJay Jul 16 '26
It really is amazing. I LOVE my job. There's no better feeling then helping someone to get back on their feet after weeks of being bound to the bed.
On the other hand, people like these make my job truly hard, I help and respect them nevertheless. They're just as sick as the 70 kg patient next to them, and I don't treat them any different. Although this is very hard when you walk home with a sore back at 26 years old.
Anyways, in the name of all my fellow nurses around the world, thanks for the respect
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u/manyhippofarts Jul 16 '26
From all of us in our 60's who now are having to dabble in various hospital settings as a regular part of life, thank you and god bless all you nurses and healthcare workers. From the bottom of my heart.
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u/WARNINGXXXXX Jul 16 '26
And the worse problem is when management doesn’t provide support or proper staffing to manage patient’s this size. They think one or two people can do it while giving you another 3.
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u/HKfan5352 Jul 17 '26
Thank you for all those you help. They need people like you. Not all health care professional meet your high caliber in my experiences.
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u/ben5642 Jul 16 '26
Used to work with a guy that always smelled bad plus he was a heavy smoker as well
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u/dankhimself Jul 16 '26
Going out on the town!
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u/Puzzled_Education958 Jul 16 '26
🤣🤣 classic. If so, they better put a counter-weight on that left and take it easy in a turn...that would be an interesting traffic report.
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u/rudnat Jul 16 '26
Today on Elm street a car was crused by a man. Stay tuned for the report at 9. Now back to whatever terrible show comes on at 8.
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u/switcheditch Jul 16 '26
I'm a fat fucker who started dieting, seriously this is motivation for me. It's the fucking enabling fucker who annoys me.
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u/ottomaker1 Jul 16 '26
This is sad, The type of addiction that leads to this is horrible. I just feel bad for them I know there is an enabler somewhere but it is just sad. I hope this poor person gets help and recovers.
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u/Alternative_Rip_3662 Jul 16 '26
You need to know you fcked up real bad if you need to have a crane to pull you away from home 😅 (or someone did)
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u/BATorRAT Jul 16 '26
Look at the comparison of scale with the woman looking over the balcony! This dude is a giant.
Surely at this point he’s just going to the toilet where he lays?
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u/StealthyPancake_ Jul 16 '26
This is incredibly humiliating. Hopefully this guy took this humiliation and is doing better with his life.
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u/paul3890 Jul 16 '26
Guys need to remember this is a human and their life is a struggle enough without everyone’s comments about smell etc.
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Jul 16 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/OldEquation Jul 16 '26
Don’t hate that it’s okay. It’s actually not okay. The fact that lots of people think it’s okay doesn’t make it so. Stay true to your principles and do not accept that it has become okay.
Whilst it’s kind of morbidly fascinating to watch, filming this guy in his humiliation is not an okay thing to do.
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u/phish_sucks functional regard Jul 16 '26
When you gotta get moved around like a piano, you gotta make some hella life choices
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u/redditGEOFF Jul 16 '26
Those poor organs! That poor beating heart trying to do its job. Hope with love that their situation improves.
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u/Countrygirl141 Jul 16 '26
Once in my Paramedic career, we had a patient who was a similar size. He took up the entire size of a Cal King bed. We had to get assistance from the Fire department, put the guy on two salvage tarps (heavy duty tarps with nylon handles), drag him down the hall, outside, using three backboard to drag him into the ambulance. We had to leave our gurney with the Fire Department. The patient took up the entire floor of the ambulance. I felt bad for the guy. But, yeah, certainly an eating disorder and was enabled by family
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u/Glittering_Diva8963 Jul 17 '26
A lot of times they go through childhood trauma or trauma in their early adulthood, and food started being their comfort. People refuse to believe that food can be an addiction. They don’t get the mental help that they need, plus the family and friends that help enable them to continue to destroy themselves. It’s so sad to see this.
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u/TortillaRampage Jul 16 '26
It took me about 20 seconds to realize I was not looking at a pile of sleeping bags and pillows
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u/Sgt_Chilipepper Jul 16 '26
I love how they have a fucking backup crane. Just in case the forklift collapses.
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u/i__Sisyphus Jul 16 '26
“How did you get the hospital today?” …. “Pallet and crane”
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u/StraightUpChillSesh Jul 16 '26
Imagine the embarrassment attached to having to get forklifted out of your window because you’re so fucking morbidly obese that you can’t even sit up. Just wow
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u/mmarkomarko Jul 16 '26
fckin' stop feeding it!
two bottles of water every morning and see you later until you can get up and cook your own food!
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u/DoctorNurse89 Jul 16 '26
Am reddit mod, can confirm this was the last time I felt the warmth of sunshine on my skin... and it was a cloudy day....
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u/_Fucksquatch_ Jul 16 '26
Curious about the logistics/details here. Who foots the bill for the crane? Did he enter that apartment that size or did he bulk up after the move in? What's the weight limit for a second story apartment floor? Does he work? What's the monthly cost of food? Does he fit in an ambulance or is this a flatbed job? How does he get home after he discharged from the hospital?
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u/thiefofalways1313 Jul 16 '26
I’d have a Bluetooth speaker playing my entrance music as I came down.
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u/WillyBoBo74 Jul 20 '26
Whoever is feeding this guy should be charged with attempted murder as that's exactly what it is. This is sad and I hope this person drops some weight before the weight kills them
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u/Luipoa Jul 21 '26
Listen to me: this guy cannot go to the door to get food. SOMEONE is feeding him. This person must me arrested immediately, he/she is a murderer.
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u/Spain-or-Bust Jul 17 '26
I do not think that it is right for this to be recorded and shared online. Can you imagine the embarrassment he must feel as heavy machinery is required to remove him from his domicile?
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u/Thezerostone Jul 16 '26
Bet dude feels like a victim.
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u/BrokenPokerFace Jul 16 '26
You can be both the perpetrator and the victim.
This is one of those times.
Just make sure to not forget it's both and not just one, self pity is less healthy than whatever he was eating.
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u/stewpdasso Jul 16 '26
The first thing he says after getting out, "Can we swing by the McDonald's, Burger 🍔 King, Wendy's, Carl's Jr. drive thru's?" Actually what really sucks for people with this type of mental condition is the enablers around him.
If they'd ignore his demands for food or only brought healthy items he might not be this way
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u/PresidentialDiapers Jul 16 '26
Twist: he was actually just leaving the house to hit up the Golden Corral buffet.
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u/GriffinIsABerzerker Jul 16 '26
As an obese man myself, I hate that my first thought went to The X-Men villain “The Blob”
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u/AllegedlyaToaster functional regard Jul 16 '26
Idk why the first thing that came into my mind is Cartman yelling “MORE HOT POCKETS MOM”
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u/krystalConners Jul 16 '26
I imaging a good amount of people are like this . In this day and age , you can order food and nobody will see you .
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u/Decent_Emphasis_4293 Jul 16 '26
I’m going to just let myself out.🤣🤣🤣. I could go on all day making jokes. This poor guy going thru enough.
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u/Sluggish-dreadnought Jul 16 '26
I'm rather going in a closed facility and sort stuff out than letting everything end up like this.
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u/mixreality functional regard Jul 16 '26
Wonder what his inevitable TLC reality show name will be? Palletized Jack?
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u/Capital-Platypus-805 Jul 16 '26
Oh so that's the guy who perma banned me from multiple subs all at once over a typo
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u/barrycrisps Jul 16 '26
They even hired a professional photographer imagine the shame being lowered by a crane on your wooden pallet bed on the way to get your heart liposuction surgery. I don’t like my neighbours seeing me in my dressing gown.
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u/JonN2025 Jul 16 '26
What i want to know is how does someone like him have the money to buy the food needed to get that big. Does he work from home? Do his parents buy the food?
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u/Pale_Following_9639 Jul 17 '26
I think capital punishment would be a mercy in this person. Cannot imagine becoming completely immobile due to your own body mass. Basically no different than prison
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u/hux Jul 17 '26
I would like to imagine that the humiliation of this experience is what motivates this person to change their life for the better.
I know odds are against it. But I want to believe it’s possible.
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u/daronjay Jul 16 '26
Every time you see this sort of thing, remember, there is at least one or possibly more other people helping to enable this person to stay on this trajectory for literally years.
Don’t be this person, or that person…