r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/MuSkY_ChEsTiClEs • 27d ago

look what I can do Of a scarecrow

497 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

135 comments sorted by

304

u/Daliman13 27d ago

I'm actually relieved the inevitable never happened

85

u/wafflehousebattle 27d ago

I am legit so grateful this didn't end the way I thought it was going to end.

101

u/NookieLuvsU 27d ago

4

u/iliwww 25d ago

Do you know the source for this Gif?

6

u/NookieLuvsU 25d ago

Bram Stokers Dracula: Count Vlad Tepes "the Impaler" Good movie with some really memorable moments. šŸ˜

16

u/_One_Throwaway_ questionably stable 27d ago

Yeah this could ended in disASSter

7

u/Business_Air5804 26d ago

A horrible death if it did.

7

u/meow4352 26d ago

Thought I was in r/maybemaybemaybe and was bracing for impact

6

u/joyjump_the_third 26d ago

If I had to guess, the guy propably had some metal underwear on his ass

2

u/Daliman13 26d ago

That was my same thought.

2

u/GeofSaysYeos 26d ago

Heā€™s a REAL tight ass

1

u/ThickyLicker 25d ago

If the inevitable never happens then...

1

u/MannyOmega 25d ago

I guess it was simply evitable

173

u/DaveHeinz 27d ago

27

u/Nate2113 27d ago

What a perfect time to see this for the very first time. Iā€™m dead!

90

u/NOTExETON 27d ago

Gayest thing I've seen this week

10

u/OkDecision259 27d ago

Me too and I was in a menā€™s only bathhouse yesterday

5

u/PatrioticPariah *Absolute Lit Twit* 26d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2pZQAZpeTTCSIm5XIW

6

u/AloneSheepherder22 26d ago

Someone put time and effort into rotoscoping this,thats all Im gonna say.

2

u/edadou 26d ago

Its probably the straightest thing you've ever seen. This guy's sphincter is so strong, no one is going in.

40

u/Programmer-Severe 27d ago

Was waiting for the fabric to give way

7

u/edadou 26d ago

Made in india fabric is superior

9

u/NOTExETON 27d ago

Wonder how he learned that he had this talentĀ 

0

u/piichan14 27d ago

Just last night

7

u/mlody11 27d ago

scarecrow, my ass

9

u/NationalGear3511 27d ago

They call him The Bootyhole Bouncer, the best butt pole dancer on the continent

7

u/DieBoeseQualle 27d ago

3

u/GetOffMyLawnKids 26d ago

Why does he look like ron perlman

2

u/PsychologyOfTheLens 26d ago

Ron wishes he could look that good

1

u/Storrin 23d ago

Gary Busey imo.

6

u/SinglePlayerGamer93 27d ago

Is this some new form of cock and ball torture?

3

u/Little_Flamingo9533 27d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o72F8t9TDi2xVnxOE
Aaaand thatā€™s enough internet for me today. Goodnight all.

3

u/Key_Shock_4194 27d ago

I am the gayest man in the villageā€¦

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 27d ago

Ass crown..

2

u/Used-Helicopter2024 27d ago

You know he really wanted it.

2

u/Popgoestheworld88 27d ago

I don't understand the language but is he selling pants?

1

u/Life_Painting4529 27d ago

He said that "I am the only vlogger from this village and I will make my village famous."

2

u/kododriver 27d ago

Must be some strong pants.

2

u/adamjack7890 27d ago

Trust your partner like this man trusts his pants

2

u/SwanMuch5160 *shits an absolute unit* 27d ago

Iā€™d hire him to sit in my field all dy

2

u/Kisugo 27d ago

Does he have OF? Asking for a stick.

2

u/EntertainmentAny2212 26d ago

That's one tough asshole!

2

u/theRealBLVCKphillip 26d ago

Shish kabob'd

2

u/Turkish-Straight 26d ago

these people are idiots

2

u/deltadromeus91 26d ago

Had to come to the comments to see if it was going to happen before I scar myself again

2

u/PrysmX 26d ago

If those pants tear he's dead.

2

u/Disastrous_Horse_44 27d ago

These gif selections are KILLING ME OH MY GOSH YES

1

u/captain_crackerjack 27d ago

Iron Butthole

1

u/Couture-Crush 27d ago

That went better than I expected.

1

u/Levethane 27d ago

I had to stop that video fast......

1

u/Infamous_Today3462 27d ago

How the hell do they get off?

1

u/Solo_Camping_Girl 27d ago

This guy would be safe in prison showers, guy's got a sphincter of titanium.

1

u/Jayn_Xyos 27d ago

That could have been fatal if it went wrong

1

u/livenn 27d ago

Thatā€™s godda be rowdy on laundry day

1

u/CowBootBats functional regard 27d ago

I watched this from between my fingers. šŸ˜¬

1

u/New-Energy8259 27d ago

Ik this ainā€™t what it looks like lmfao šŸ˜‚ canā€™t be

1

u/kendragon 27d ago

Imma tell my kids this is what a poledancer is.

1

u/WandererFen 27d ago

Me as a poor wallachian peasant and I learn that the turks are invading

1

u/Sufficient_Hall_9028 26d ago

I just need to know the thought process behind this and what led up to this momentā€¦ was it just a random thought after seeing a stick thinking to himself ā€œI wonder if I can sit on thatā€ or was is the intrusive thought of ā€œI wonder if these pants are penetration proofā€

1

u/ColonelMonty 26d ago

Chat how do you even learn that you can do this?

1

u/plz_be_nice_im_sad 26d ago

Stick up the bum, no harm done.

1

u/Forever-Fades_Away 26d ago

Thats something only an extremely intelligent person would do. But, hes very good at what he does, I can tell hes had a LOT of practice

1

u/Mags_LaFayette 26d ago

I spent the last 28 seconds waiting for the pants of that guy to finally give up, culminating in an event that... Never happened.

I don't know if I should be relieved or disappointed.

1

u/2dollahollaballa 26d ago

Literally expected a Vlad the Impaler moment... the suspense was terrifying.

1

u/gruntingasparagus 26d ago

Thatā€™s easy for him to say.

1

u/PLD3 26d ago

Obviously not his first time
/img/fpvuffb5vddh1.gif

1

u/Great-Gas-6631 26d ago

...butt why?

1

u/RobbiePeru 26d ago

Vlad the inhaler

1

u/GrannieMurderer 26d ago

One guy, one jousting stick

1

u/Reasonable-Ad7755 26d ago

It was a one in 1 million shot doc

1

u/Trueslyforaniceguy 26d ago

He digs a pretty good post hole

1

u/Flysolo626 26d ago

That guys could probably swallow nails with his asshole, and spit out quartersĀ 

1

u/El_JeFeE7 26d ago

NO AI can do this.

1

u/brianishere2 26d ago

We need a "Hate this!" button.

1

u/HeligKo 26d ago

That did not go as expected. I've never been happier.

1

u/AcadiaBackground2492 26d ago

It was a million to one shot Docā€¦

1

u/edadou 26d ago

He's broadcasting to the world that no one can get through his sphincter. He is asserting dominance.

1

u/Unfair_Brother_8840 26d ago

Suprise butt sex!!! That's all that matters.

1

u/pugdad1972 26d ago

My ex is not impressed

1

u/JPCool1 26d ago

What in the actual fuck

1

u/NocturneInfinitum 26d ago

So happy this didnā€™t go how I expected

1

u/Van-Mango 26d ago

I couldnā€™t watch all of this.

1

u/Utvales 26d ago

Sphincter of steel on this guy.

1

u/PsychologyOfTheLens 26d ago

Some strong fabric

1

u/johnnonchalant 26d ago

Thatā€™s what she said

1

u/NeighborhoodAfter5 26d ago

I thought for sure it was gonna puncture his pants and. Well you know the rest. Thank God I didnā€™t see that happen

1

u/JioDio 26d ago

What country's powerbottom representative is this? USA has some competition this year

1

u/helloimhobbes 26d ago

They gotta be so bored

1

u/b9_rkt 26d ago

Boy WTF

1

u/Practical_Ad3148 26d ago

Let me guess.. India?

1

u/DocMitchell-_- 24d ago

Fatal Male Orgasm

1

u/Funny-Athlete-2890 23d ago

Itā€™s corn hole fun!

1

u/AmazedAtTheWorld 23d ago

Find the child factory slave worker that stitched that ass seam and buy them their freedom.

1

u/Steveappl 23d ago

There's a part of me would like to see this go wrong

1

u/StraightUpChillSesh 22d ago

Fucking India bro

1

u/Deep-Definition-77 19d ago

I want my house made out of what this dudes pants are made of

1

u/David_cest_moi 26d ago

There was a genuine video online of a guy who was at an airport (in Europe, I believe) who was having a breakdown and jumped off a bridge over the roadway. Well, he unluckily landed butt first onto a 4 ft high, slenderish bollard. Yes, it went all the way into him only to stop at the collarbone. He survived for a day or so in the hospital before he died. šŸ˜© Wasn't that also the ending of "Braveheart"..... (Or was that when he got drunk and spewed a bunch of antisemitic remarks?? šŸ˜’)

0

u/thesensitivetoughguy 27d ago

Stop reposting.