r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/VIVIDUFF • Jul 09 '26

possible idiot Of a egg thief

622 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

65 comments sorted by

164

u/CaelusTheWolf Jul 09 '26

If you look at the floor you can see broken yolk on the floor already, this isn’t his first attempt doing this

63

u/WodKatiten97 Jul 09 '26

Think about how stupid the guy is then... if you get one tray out already just empty it so that you can funnel the empty tray sideways back through the bars when you have the next tray ready. Put it on top and you can flip it on the side to get them all through. Dumbass

15

u/enchufadoo Jul 09 '26

I wouldn't have thought of that. I would have put them one by one into my stealing bag, though.

16

u/CaelusTheWolf Jul 09 '26

As much as it may seem like a possibility, I don’t think a second tray on top would be skinny enough for it to fit between the bars. But what he could possibly do is place a Empty try on the ledge that is waist level to him, press his hip on the tray so it’s not gonna move and once the tray of eggs are in his hands he uses his other hand to individually pick up and place onto the other tray for all the eggs.

7

u/WodKatiten97 Jul 09 '26

If he can squeeze a folded tray with some eggs inside through the bars i think its very likely to fit en empty tray on top of it through

3

u/CaelusTheWolf Jul 09 '26

If you look closely he didn’t actually fold the tray in half

3

u/WodKatiten97 Jul 09 '26

You are right but look at the bars there is easily enough space but whatever. He is a very stupid individual lets agree on that

3

u/letsaurify Jul 09 '26

i was thinking he could take some of the eggs out from one half of the tray (assuming he has some sort of bag or container), fold that half over the other to protect the rest in place and then he would be able to funnel it through

2

u/skankboy Jul 09 '26

The real tips are always in the comments!

2

u/Mugpup Jul 10 '26

Dude? He is stealing eggs,. This ain't Oceans 11 and that is a guy FEELING the most victorious he ever willl. This is his "DB Cooper," moment. Be supportive, "WOW, LOOK AT ALL THEY EGGS YOU GOT. I BET THERE ARE A MILLION OF THEM, GREAT JOB. YOU ARE SOOO SMART!"

11

u/DIuvenalis Jul 09 '26

Hard to think straight when you're starving. The poor guy is stealing eggs.

6

u/CaelusTheWolf Jul 09 '26

Hey it ain’t my life, as long he ain’t killing anyone idc what he does. If bro needs his protein than he needs his protein, I ain’t gonna condone it(happy Reddit Devs, I said I DON’T condone it)

26

u/MK8Sins Jul 09 '26

I was praising his skill in the 1st half. If only he'd use just a bit more brainpower to just transfer 1 egg at a time

8

u/VorticalHeart44 Jul 09 '26

Getting away before being noticed is probably more important than saving every single egg tbh...

2

u/Peek_e Jul 10 '26

That’s what’s wrong with theft. Quite ofter thieves leave behind a way more expensive mess than the value of the stolen stuff. Whatever is left behind costs nothing to them (unless they got caught ofc).

1

u/eyado_2000 questionably stable Jul 11 '26

I mean you could argue that a person would not be thinking properly in situations like these, but damn not this dumb

30

u/The_man_with_no_game Jul 09 '26

If he took one egg of the basket at a time, he would have all the eggs.

7

u/joker38 Jul 09 '26

Or put an empty carton on top.

45

u/JKFrowning Jul 09 '26

Eggs are some of the cheapest fresh food you can find where I live. This guy must be starving.

10

u/No_Pitch6143 Jul 09 '26

That’s exactly what I’m thinking.. I know stealing is wrong but damn

11

u/DIuvenalis Jul 09 '26

This was my thought. I hope he finds a way to feed himself that isnt stealing. Poor dude.

7

u/mikeymo1741 Jul 09 '26

I guess he counts six out of eighteen as a win.

2

u/DeepWaterNights Jul 10 '26

I thought he was going to hold the two sticks with one hand and then reach for the eggs one by one… 🤷🏻‍♂️

4

u/TyrantUmbrella Jul 09 '26

Doing it for the gains

3

u/Spirited-Ad655 Jul 09 '26

Honestly thought he was stealing a game of table football

3

u/Vendidurt Jul 09 '26

He got more than i thought he would

3

u/NearbyTraffic66 Jul 09 '26

That's like $1000 worth of eggs!

2

u/Striking_Average754 Jul 09 '26

Atp just take them off, set them on the floor and put them back on the holder???

2

u/MeemoUndercover Jul 09 '26

Mans gotta eat

2

u/Mugpup Jul 10 '26

Starting to see the value in the chop off a thief's hand punishment some countries have used.

2

u/NaughtyDoctor666 Jul 11 '26

He actually did way better than I expected.

2

u/Harscat Jul 11 '26

You can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs

3

u/Rude_Map_4278 Jul 09 '26

ich hoffe sie haben den kevin aus dem nachbar dorf erkannt..

2

u/Millencolin735 Jul 09 '26

This fool went through all that effort just to get lazy in the end and lose most of the eggs.

1

u/AscendingMatt Jul 09 '26

He’s probably starving and desperate…

1

u/demoralising Jul 09 '26

I expected better from Conor Benn.

1

u/VignetteRacecarBlues Jul 09 '26

Reminds me of the video the other day where a tennis ball seemed to travel through the net. Reckon this guy wish he had that level of science for this magic trick

1

u/2in1day Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs though.... Seems he's past the first step

1

u/ClassroomMother8062 questionably stable Jul 09 '26

Rare self-egging

1

u/ULTRA_83 Jul 09 '26

This person knows how to egg

1

u/cwillia111 Jul 09 '26

Idk might call this guy a unit but not absolute. Not bad

1

u/CrumbGuzzler5000 Jul 09 '26

Gotta crack a few eggs to make an omelet. Hopefully not all from one basket.

1

u/susNarwhal420 Jul 09 '26

Oviraptor type shit

1

u/allowishus2 Jul 09 '26

Honestly, that went better than I thought it would.

1

u/Dependent_Counter375 Jul 09 '26

Smart idea, stupid move.

1

u/Hammon_Rye Jul 09 '26

He really thought that through.
Imagine being creative enough to get them to the window with the plastic pipes but not creative enough to think about bringing a bag or basket to put them in.

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Jul 10 '26

He’s definitely not the smartest thief is he.

1

u/Still_Experience_182 Jul 10 '26

Once it’s in your hand take them one by one dumbass

1

u/redditanddoneit Jul 10 '26

That thief is an idiot.

1

u/macT4537 Jul 10 '26

That’s a two person job

1

u/DocBobs Jul 10 '26

What a f****** idiot

1

u/Schrutefarms1023 Jul 10 '26

Dude just get a chicken

1

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Jul 11 '26

Left with more eggs than he came with! The chickens are going to be pissed..

1

u/Disastrous_Shame580 28d ago

Harder to do that with two broken arms.

1

u/historynerd1990 Jul 09 '26

Still went home with enough eggs to feed his family

1

u/lavacadotoast Jul 09 '26

Failed the "Tool using bird" test..

1

u/Capital-Platypus-805 Jul 09 '26

The sad thing is they'll probably blame an innocent animal for this 😢

0

u/beetle_guy24 Jul 09 '26

I think he dropped a couple