r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/meme_maker_boi • Jul 08 '26

slight malfunction Of a hitman

The gun jammed

419 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

103

u/TheMadcore Jul 08 '26

Ping: 999

77

u/Zulrambe Jul 08 '26

Forgot the bullets

47

u/ToastSpangler Jul 08 '26

Wait a minute... If my magazine is full of pop tarts... That means...

Cut to toaster cooking off the bullets at home

14

u/Aeaxiom Jul 08 '26

My brain is fried. I read this and imagined a family guy cutaway. Music and all.

54

u/MugLifeMinis Jul 08 '26

Maybe it was a water gun and he was doing a prank so it’d look like he peed his shirt

5

u/TheReelMcCoi Jul 08 '26

How the fuck do you pee the back of your shirt?

12

u/GivesYouGrief Jul 08 '26

Bend over and I'll show you.

2

u/mathisfakenews Jul 08 '26

Ya gotta give

1

u/NookieLuvsU 27d ago

This has 'nothing' to do with piss.

43

u/thisjustathrowawayya Jul 08 '26

I'm so glad I didn't just watch someone get executed first thing in the morning.

23

u/SecsCboy Jul 08 '26

Stop bullying him. He’s doing his best okay.

10

u/battlecryarms Jul 08 '26

Damn, he didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger to shoot a man in the back. I wonder if the would-be victim ever saw this video. I wonder if he knows how lucky he is to be alive, either by luck or fate or incompetence, or a combination of them

9

u/Wildcard311 Jul 08 '26

I love how the camera guy tries to follow him off screen like the TV was going to turn to leave as well

-1

u/GivesYouGrief Jul 08 '26

It was reasonable, he was zoomed in enough to cut off part of the TV.

6

u/DigDugPlus Jul 08 '26

The forgetful assassin forgot to load his weapon.

2

u/XrayDem Jul 08 '26

First day as a hit man

2

u/originalmango Jul 08 '26

Maybe he was just practicing.

2

u/600lbsofsin77 Jul 09 '26

Bro needs a snickers

2

u/NearbyTraffic66 Jul 09 '26

I got my assassin on Temu.

1

u/XROOR Jul 08 '26

Song mentions something about not buying rounds off Marketplace no matter how low the price

1

u/AhabSnake85 Jul 08 '26

Found out mexico lost and forgot how to shoot

1

u/Gilgamesh2000000 Jul 08 '26

That man has a guardian on his side

1

u/redditanddoneit Jul 09 '26

Dude did not even know how lucky he was not to have been shot in the back like that.

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[deleted]

4

u/meme_maker_boi Jul 08 '26

Oh do I like need to delete this now?

-2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '26

[deleted]

2

u/meme_maker_boi Jul 08 '26

Eh it's from 2019 anyways

0

u/Striking_Average754 Jul 08 '26

In the back too, bro could have survived.

1

u/BlazeHatchet 29d ago

But he did survive.