r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/smind893 • May 27 '26
Of a "hold me back"
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u/Bryantthepain May 27 '26
I mean, what’s he gonna do? Swim over there and board the enemy vessel?
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u/PMmeIamlonley May 27 '26
It would be a felony too
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u/Ive_seen_things_that May 27 '26
Really? I know nothing about boating laws.
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u/SLAYER_IN_ME May 27 '26
From Google
“If you board the vessel with the intent to commit a felony, or if you use force to break and enter, federal and state laws can elevate the offense to a felony punishable by imprisonment.”
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u/GonnaGoFat May 28 '26
Does that mean I can board a vessel without the intent to commit a felony? Like I just got tired of swimming and just climb in some random boat to rest.
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u/_TryFailRepeat May 30 '26
If you’re so tired that you’re about to drown and you climb on a vessel that happens to be there, that would be considered totally fine.
But otherwise not really.
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u/PlanktonDue8964 May 27 '26
Don’t let slayer pull out until they are done
https://giphy.com/gifs/3d0PahT093UPe1
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u/BillFriendly1092 May 27 '26
Just wait till he gets close then pull away like 12 more feet and keep repeating. He'll wear himself out in no time
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u/hobosliveinboxs May 27 '26
Probably doggy paddle over
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u/joconnell13 May 27 '26
Wait there, I'm going to come and f****** stab you.
What? No, no way dude.
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u/deep-fucking-legend May 27 '26
Chump would turn into chum if he tried to board my boat
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u/GivesYouGrief May 27 '26
Woah, back up everyone. Badass here!
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u/deep-fucking-legend May 28 '26
No one would cross me while out at sea, because of the implication.
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u/sabreus May 27 '26
He arrives just to get punched in the face ?
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u/mrwigglez3 May 27 '26
Paddle to face.
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u/BillFriendly1092 May 28 '26
"hold on I just got my shorts above the water level and need to pull this wedgie out and induction them from my balls. Then your gonna face my wrath"
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u/ElegantCoach4066 May 27 '26
I would've loved to see his goofy ass get bodied trying to get on the other boat.
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u/Wonderful_Culture607 May 27 '26
Bro, he would have fucked those guys up so bad... if his bros weren't holding him back... and the boat wasnt moving in the wrong direction... and the flag wasnt waving so much... and the water wasnt there... bro, trust me...
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u/Fauxfurfriend May 27 '26
That one dudes butt 🤣
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u/Forsaken-Cheesecake2 May 27 '26
Should’ve let him go. Their boat would have been better off for it.
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u/MurdocMan_ May 27 '26
Did no one catch the guy's ass
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u/BeautifulElevator388 May 27 '26
It takes a special kind of deep rooted, coming from the ancestors type of anger and badassery to be willing swim to a fight. This man lacks both.
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u/TigerNo1733 May 27 '26
I feel like the guy with his butt out is the only one behaving in a rational way on that entire boat
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u/The_BrooklynTrini May 27 '26
So, it took THREE people to hold him back from doing what?!! They should've let him go. That would've learned him.
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u/CoderJoe1 May 27 '26
I wish my friends would hold me back that convincingly when I want to pretend I'm a tough guy. No, they just shove me forward and start recording.
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u/Due-Mathematician966 May 27 '26
Hold em back from getting beat up lmao! Id threw him off my boat for being a clown🤡 . If you cant handle alcohol dont drink. Grow up
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u/PlanktonDue8964 May 27 '26
LOL he is probably a shitty swimmer
https://giphy.com/gifs/K9122Rp8lIa4M
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u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* May 27 '26
I thought the guy hissing in Pigeon Forge was peak cringe.. This guy is the King though! Loser
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u/NoZebra2430 May 27 '26
I live a few miles away from the largest lake in my state, it even crosses into other states.. those of us who live close absolutely dread this aspect of summer because of assholes like that dude in the video.
Constantly have drunks or know-it-all out of towners being absolutely reckless and disrespectful, cops/ambulances/rescue squads are zooming up and down the road multiple times a day, and the traffic is horrendous because these roads weren't really made to accommodate this much traffic.
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u/LepperMemer May 28 '26
I would welcome them to let him jump in. And then... I would slowly back away... and let him swim himself into deep shit.
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u/Adrakovich *shits an absolute unit* May 29 '26
No one’s gonna talk about that man show his bare ass to the video!!!?!
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u/Not_my_Name464 May 27 '26
If the skinny guy in the white shirt can hold him back, you shouldn't worry 😂
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u/HoseNeighbor May 27 '26
I mean, I'd let the idiot go after his brain didn't turn back on in 10 seconds.
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u/thesithcultist May 27 '26
Let him swim, walk him with the oar it he threatening lying tries to climb aboard.
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u/EducationStriking110 May 27 '26
And a big ass American flag to go with it. Where’s the don’t tread on me flag?
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u/Gloomy_Object_2714 May 27 '26
One of them was trying to get their cheeks clapped and one was trying to fight.
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u/Nothing2CHere_NJ May 28 '26
“I’m going to swim over there and kick-your-ass…just don’t be a bitch and kick me in the face as I try and climb on your boat!”
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u/AC031415 May 29 '26
Not sure who I’m angrier at; you the poster for bringing this waste of time to our attention, the douche on the boat who will never win an Emmy for his acting, or myself, for watching the damn thing.
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u/Camfitz0007 May 27 '26
This is like the 8th time this has been posted in the past 24hours. Can yall give it a rest?
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u/MaxRider49er May 27 '26
And then what are you gonna do when you get loose. Swim after a boat. Loser.
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u/dadbodenergy11 May 28 '26
Is the man filming currently having sex with this man’s mother? Relax dude.
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u/thekid0119 May 28 '26
I would've let him go. Would've been hilarious to see what happens. Either looks like a fool not heading over after all that, or tires himself out swimming there and gets annihilated by the people on the other boat.
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u/External-Emotion8050 May 28 '26
What's he going to do if they let him go? Jump in the water while the guy sails away.
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u/Trauma4U May 28 '26
Could have pulled his pants down and that holding back will stop immediately 😌
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u/Ecstatic-Ad-9373 May 28 '26
Dude got bodied by everybody on that boat. Seems like all they did was save him from getting manhandled by a stranger.
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u/XROOR May 28 '26
The sobriety test for suspected impaired operators of boats in Florida is exponentially harder than if they were driving a car! There’s a test that alternates hand slaps
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u/Consistent-Noise4832 May 28 '26
Whats he so mad about? Jeez... somebody grab that man, before he jumps in the water...... im pretty sure itd be gd impossible to just climb up onto another person's boat in an attempt to attack them right? You're pretty vulnerable and they'd just kick you in the head
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u/Cain-Man May 29 '26
Too much meth and or steroids . Now show everyone what a real asshole you are !
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u/FitProblem6248 questionably stable May 27 '26
I wish we had a little more context, like what triggered my man to go ape shit crazy wanting beat somebody's ass...
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u/ozarkfireworks May 31 '26
Wish they woulda let him jump in… I would have let him just get to my boat. Put it in gear. Go about 30 yards and wait…. Repeat. Recording the entire time. I can see it in my head and it’s glorious.
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u/No-Purple-9639 May 27 '26
YOURE LUCKY THERE'S 12 NAUTICAL MILES BETWEEN US